Study: 89% Of Husbands Planning To Surprise Wife On Valentine’s Day By Dressing As Naked, Chubby Cherub https://theonion.com/study-89-of-husbands-planning-to-surprise-wife-on-val-1823006999/

Going Gashapon crazy in the Philippines

Watched Lost in Translation in theaters for its 23rd anniversary and my god it’s still my favorite film of all time, despite it not aging so well.

You’ll never guess where the Lion and Tiger are. #MoreFunInThePhilippines

RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-demonstrates-how-to-remove-tapeworm-by-scooting-ass-across-carpet/

McDonald’s in the Philippines has spaghetti and fried chicken.

Philippine nightlife 🩷

Tips For Using AI https://theonion.com/tips-for-using-ai/

Spent $40 on Panda Express at the airport. Ooooh we’re fancy AF tonight!

It begins. #tamagotchi #tamagotchiparadise

People defending the Switch 2 Animal Crossing update like it’s gods gift to man. Lmao I can’t

First look at Sophie Turner as Lara Croft in Amazon’s upcoming ‘Tomb Raider’ series

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With The Stars Of ‘Heated Rivalry’ https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-the-stars-of-heated-rivalry/

the time when mariah carey’s playback failed and she was forced to sing live

Apple Intelligence is so trash, I forgot it existed. Turned that shit off when it came out.

Happy New Years!

Spending new years on a boat

I like gnomes. I’m trying to understand watercolors. #dungeonsanddragons #gnomes

What an odd day, it doesn’t feel like New Year’s Eve with all the rain falling down.

Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies https://theonion.com/bachelorette-party-bankrupts-4-of-brides-fave-girlies/

setting intentions for 2026 with health, wealth, outfits, trips, and an endless flow of money:

#HeatedRivalry (🍅97%) is one of the best TV shows of 2025.

The concept of no new Heated Rivalry next week 😭

I’m having withdrawals!

I’m soooooo depressed cuz Heated Rivalry is OVER and it won’t be back for another year or so 😭

Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering

Mall Santa Crying Hysterically In Photo With Toddler

I can’t shut up about #HeatedRivalry I’m going insaaaane

Can’t tell if the gigantic screen at dinner was AI generated or not?

Uh-oh, I’ve fallen prey to the Steam holiday sale!

Blue Drew Barrymore Could’ve Sworn She Saw James Cameron On Schedule

Hockey Players Blast ‘Heated Rivalry’ For Unrealistic Depiction Of Anal Sex https://theonion.com/hockey-players-blast-heated-rivalry-for-unrealistic-depiction-of-anal-sex/

Omg the latest episode of #HeatedRivalry was 😭😭😭😭

Gal Gadot Assures Casting Agent She Can Play AI Roles https://theonion.com/gal-gadot-assures-casting-agent-she-can-play-ai-roles/

#HeatedRivalry (🍅95%) will return for an all-new season on HBO Max and Crave. https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/article/renewed-and-cancelled-tv-shows-2025/?cmp=TWRT_TV_Renewed_Heated

Christmas party dinner

Wait, this ain’t #HeatedRivalry

‘Heated Rivalry’ has been renewed for Season 2. (deadline.com/2025/12/heated…)

I need to stop looking up Heated Rivalry stuff cuz now I’m just getting everything spoiled from the book when I’m just trying to stay within the show. Ughhhhh

Bart Simpson and his iconic catch phrase #smilingfriends #thesimpsons

Omggggg #HeatedRivalry is soooo good! I didn’t think I’d like a hockey centric show like this lmao

Got my Gogo skin. #fortnite #killbill

Oooh a ToysRUs standalone store opened in Long Beach

Black Friday deals this year are sucky

Lmaooo Fortnite crashed

Drew Carey crashed my party for Thanksgiving! Lmaooo Happy Thanksgiving #thesims1 #thesimslegacycollection

Just watched Rental Family and it’s become my FILM OF THE YEAR. Brendan Fraser was just wonderful in it and it has such great character development and it really tugs at your heartstrings. 5/5 #FilmSky