Idk why I keep using my other account when I have this one. Guess it just feels like there's something missing and it feels uncomfortable being on this one

I was a radfem back in the day for a little while. I think it had a lot to do with being an egg and hated people demanding masculinity out of me.

Not to mention any time I try to define it I feel a mix of infantilization and imposter syndrome. Like every system I've met is made of incredibly distinct personalities that swap out and have their own like identity where mines just like, chaos.

Like I love the same people, I hate the same people, I'm not unaware of things that I did and so forth. I tried doing alters once but I just ended up writing characters instead of being me. I'm genuinely unsure how to deal with this abomination of an identity disorder.

Problem is I have one set of memories, the perspective and my feelings on them might change but I don't /feel/ like I'm swapping entirely different distinguishable identities.

Slowly coming to the realization I might have alters after all and that's prolly why my mood bounces around and I have random huge shifts in personality. I think it also explains why I have this Dom/sub thing that goes beyond being a switch.

Am I pretty now?

Tr4nny F4g Creep Dyk3 Unloved Perv Slut

WoRtHlEsS tRaSh FiLtH pErVeRt FrEaK mOnStEr AbOmInAtIoN eViL BaD sInNeR SeXuAl DeViAnT pReDaToR DiSgUsTiNg dIsApPoInTmEnT UnLoVaBlE rApEd UsEd bRoKeN DeGeNeRaTe hAtEd AnImAl sCuM UnWaNtEd f4gGoT Tr4nNy dYk3 SlUt rEt4rD CrEeP fAiLuRe AbAnDoNeD fAt PiG oGrE MaLe dEmOn mUtIlAtEd AkI

Serious Depression is a lethal illness that results in death if not cured. It doesn't matter how strong you are or how much you fight, in the end it can claim anyone. And it's killing me.

I guess the one and only constant in my life is how desperate I am to be loved 😮‍💨

Looking back at messages my ex fiancee and I sent to each other and cringing at just how much of a love sick puppy I was.

Have any other trans women heavily played up being a submissive bottom purely so they could try to express their extremely repressed sexuality in a way they hoped would not make them look predatory despite really being a dominant top?

I listened to a lot of music this year

"Maybe you don't miss your ex fiancee so much as you miss having a safe outlet to express your repressed sexuality in a way that aligns with the borderline religious fanaticism of purity you held yourself too because of your deep shame at experiencing sexuality way too early." Oh...

Somehow I had once convinced myself primal play, analingus, exhibitionism, spanking, biting, clawing, /deeeeep/ penetration, breeding, anthro and a lot lot more were vanilla sex. My ex fiancee and I were significantly more kinky than I remembered

A year ago I didn't even know what the word "kink" actually meant. Now (thanks largely to reading many many books and talking to practitioners) I can score a 100% on a BDSM quiz. Pretty good for someone who was sexually repressed for 3 decades. uquiz.com/u7w01v

Need myself a mudroom

Lonely nights

It's funny being a wolf woman among puppy girls. They are all so submissive and cute and stuff and I'm like a mangey beast foaming at the mouth ready to pounce

The reason I'm nostalgic about my ex fiancee prolly has to do with having a sexual awakening and then remembering how incredibly sexual our relationship was and how it was like one of my first sexual relationships and definitely the longest lasting and most intense.

I'd say this reminds me of my ex fiancee but we were both like 20

Sometimes I see myself as a man and I don't mean that in a dysphoric way like at all. Like even boy type Aki is like "hell ya tits"

A cool minor detail I've noticed replaying FO4 is how sometimes random raiders and gunners and such will have a synth component and like in hindsight that's clearly hinting about how synths have infiltrated every group in the Commonwealth

I love me, I'm so funny

Beautiful 🤌

The funny thing about transphobes is that they try so hard to be hurtful but like that shit doesn't work on me. You have to actually matter for me to care lol

Realizing my possessive jealousy was never about other people or my real feelings but really about the fact that I'm polyamorous and I had deep shame about that until very recently was a trip.

Realizing I have a thing for girls that have unclear boundaries and I can't tell if they are teasing or /teasing/

Lol Glinner called me a woman 💀

It shouldn't outright answer it. Also like regardless of which ending I think house figured out a way to survive even if you take out his physical body. Guy always planned 8 steps ahead and it's so easy to actually get to his body that it feels like a trick.

Y'all gotta look what this is in response to 💀💀💀

My ex fiancee also used to say this

It's weird how my ex fiancee had like g cups and yet only gave me a tit job once and she was the one who brought it up. I really am an ass girl

Base level: Kurt Cobain was a trans woman. Next level: Jim Morrison was a trans woman.

Non Technically my ex fiancee is really my ex wife but we got married in a weird sort of role playing online with friends way instead of a legal way cuz like that's just the weird ass kinda relationship it was. Admittedly my ex fiancee stories might sound funnier if I said ex wife

I'm officially done trying to force myself into different personas to try to get people to like me. I'm just gonna start being what I wanna be for me and if people don't like that oh well. All forcing myself behind masks has ever done is push people away and create misunderstandings my entire life.

Ngl if my ex fiancee popped up again I'd fuck her

Anyone know any good books on overcoming sexual repression and shame that are either applicable or made for trans women? Especially if they are for tops

Capitalism

Erika and JD Vance are a t4t couple

I prolly would be more bisexual if I didn't know what men say to men

One of the dumbest things transphobes do is say "Cis is a slur, the correct term is straight" like bud, have you not seen the straight trans women? They are insane.

Maybe I should allow myself an outlet for my sexuality and actually fuck someone

Starting to realize that I repress my actual sexuality so hard that it blurts out in inappropriate ways in conversation and overly sexual jokes without me thinking about it.

Suddenly remembering the first time my ex fiancee and I fucked after we broke up was ironic. Like literally "Haha I'm thrusting my thick fat cock deep in your tight asshole lol" we literally fucked as a joke like "Wouldn't it be funny if after everything we fucked again?"