They so dumb, they KY on their toast

Mayo is just an egg dressing for your sandwiches & burgers

If theres two paper towels dispensers, I now go porn star. One hand per each

Here it is, Lazer lips

If you see this, post a robot

Eating at breakfast McDonald's, because Tiffany isn't available

Warp pipe for the dreamer

Rumps 2 favorite musical notes are B flat & A minor

Introducing, the starter buttplug Can be found on Amazon

Wait a second. Does hell's kitchen contain the devil's lettuce?

Be different, Eat bananas for the weird arousing noises you can make

Do Eskimo women ice cream?

When I say I want to see your spread This is what I mean

I naked better than I look

#OddPrizesInCerealBoxes Lemons

Nice try Temu, I know a doggy pillow when I see one

A slice of pumpkin pie counts as one serving of fruit a day. Eat up people. Eat up...

You think Doc Brown ever said, "Flux it!", to any problem in time?

You don't have to love everything I post, but it's appreciated.

Walmart be out here selling dick cologne

Woke up, got fucked up on CBD & Caffeine Life be great

Does flavored lube count as an essential oil?

Bullshit has no business hours

Okay, because of recent scandals, I ask... Which is worse?

The holy Trinity of frozen desserts.

🎶 Bring me a bigger butt 🎶

Sex ed doesn't include a lesson on how to handle a good fucking from life

*Plaintiff presents evidence against OJ OJ's a lawyer - 🎶 Bring me a tighter glove. Whoa oh! 🎶

Wish in one hand and Temu in the other And see which one gets filled first

No ice cream flavor has ever looked more sexual than neapolitan. Prove me wrong.

You know she's sophisticated when she says, "Toss my salad chef

A new Eggo, summer edition. Twat Waffle

Suck me off! - a straw monologue

Imagine hating me and I be over here remembering random movie fight scenes

You'll never get an orgasm from me I'm not good with folding paper

Any road trip with me is considered distracted driving

I put the ick in dick

Interesting fact: Tire irons aren't just for acts of violence. There also great for changing tires

Early fleshlight

Put some pop rocks in my mouth today, give Grandpa some wartime flashbacks.

Someone at Snickers really got mad after that last size comparison

Linkin Park looks to be making a good comeback with Emily Armstron youtu.be/97Mj6pXYMd8?...

An extremely powerful super-human sense of arousal, Thor-ny

Her- How you like your women? Me-

Cocaine bear in Russian is Bert Kreischer

Servicing a Dodge pickup, means you're getting a Ramjob

Foreskin? How about fiveskin?

If you cum in space, that's an astro-nut