But if we tax the gas, the corporate giants will go elsewhere. Leaving us with... trillions of dollars of gas, ready for fresh lucrative contracts. Oh no! Then the giants will run off and get their gas from... * checks notes * Hormuz? www.abc.net.au/news/2026-05... #aupol

It's called the Godzilla El Niño, because it's coming for us all 😕 #auspol #climate #climateemergency #climitecrisis #heatwave

EXTRAORDINARY HEAT IN CENTRAL AMERICA Insane heat wave with hundreds of records smashed for weeks and it will just get worse. 42.1C at Choluteca HONDURAS HOTTEST MAY DAY IN HONDURAS HISTORY Hundreds of records next days allover the area.

I would never have guessed Paul Keating gets a regular $25k a month from Pratt. Rudd, Trumpf, Minogue, Abbott, Morrison... and more. They all get some benefit or perk. Millions and millions... "He's very kind, and weirdly very 'lucky' in business" www.theage.com.au/national/he-... #auspol

Having soundly covered off the "Freedom is slavery" and "Ignorance is strength" parts, we have finally moved on to the big one: War is Peace What a time to be alive #auspol #hormuz

Ah yes, caught giving... * checks notes * ... cost-of-living tax relief to aussie workers For shame! #auspol

They'll call it out when it is sea shells on a beach. But this? "Doesn't look like anything at all to me...." They just can't bring themselves to see it. They can't. #epsteinfiles

He'll obviously stroll calmly out of the Ed Sullivan Theatre after the final show. But... I have this strange intuition that if Stephen Colbert rode out on a galloping horse onto the streets of NYC shouting "the time is now!!", Americans would instinctively know what to do. #colbert #thelateshow

In my cognitive test (which I ACED!) they made me count backwards from ten to one. Just like you see on TV for the launch with the... We have the best rockets. Big beautiful moon. I could have gone up, because counting. Better than probably anyone knows. Ballroom!

Do MAGA not see how cringe their new passport is? #auspol

In 2024, Trump posted: "I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!" By his own logic, he should now resign. www.bbc.com/news/article... #auspol

I get the feeling you could surreptitiously unplug a wifi router at the White House, and it would take the administration years to work out why "everything's not computer" www.theverge.com/science/9187... #auspol

Remember they used to put pictures of missing kids on milk cartons? I wonder how many missing teens are buried in shallow graves on Epstein Island, never to be found.

Me: You know what to do next, so just start work on that. Don't stop until the "work" is 100% complete. Claude: [ ends humanity ]

Started listening to @anginedepoitrine.bsky.social while tidying the utensils drawer Now I seem to only have sporks Not even mad #anginedepoitrine ✋🔼🤚 ⚪ ⚫ ⚫ ⚫ ⚪ ⚫ ⚪ ⚪

We are currently: CLOPEN Back in Hormuz minutes #auspol

Hm, Trump seems to be getting the blame for Hormuz. Maybe we could blame..... China? #auspol

"Oh, you're kicking me in the nuts?! Well, guess what, I can punch myself in the nuts while you're kicking me!" -- JD Vance #auspol

Never let any of the "Australian MAGA" off the hook for our fuel crisis, tariff and inflation woes. Pauline. Gina. The entire LNP. www.theage.com.au/cbd/pauline-... #auspol

"I'll put locks on the locks to show how I am the lockiest mother- locker alive!"

After Melania's brave and totally truthful speech, it is now time for me to also clear the air I did never be friends with chocolate

Despite attempts to smear my reputation I never been friends with cheesecake

Ah yes, the shortages of non-renewable energy is caused by * checks notes * Renewable energy. Well done Liam. Excellent reporting. Amazing lateral thinking there! Idiot. 7news.com.au/news/what-ar... #auspol

The deadline's deadline is approaching its deadline! Art of the d̶e̶a̶l̶ doofus #auspol

Trump's deadline extended for 48 hours. What next, yet another 48 hours?

Victorians love to see how the media get it so wrong, even at The Age. It wasn't a "modest" budget surplus, it was the biggest surplus Victoria had ever seen. Ever. Also, Big Build is largely a Transurban thing. Paid with private investment, not tax. www.theage.com.au/national/vic... #auspol

Only 48 hours to go until the next 48-hour deadline!! The fart of the deal

US has fired 850+ Tomahawk cruise missiles in 30 days. It bought 57 last year. The math is forcing the Pentagon toward a ground war in a country ringed by 4,000-meter mountains, with 90 million people. The person making these decisions has never commanded more than 200 soldiers. #auspol

One is a slippery, bottom-feeding, cold, slime-sucking, flathead ...and the other is a fish. #auspol

Fuel prices in Australia due to external pressures, of course. But we should BAN the traitors who support MAGA over our national interest. Let's start with: 1️⃣ 𝗚𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁 2️⃣ 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗻 #aupol

"Erm, carry on. Go eat some Easter chocolate or something. See you after the long weekend..." #auspol

I feel like getting on national tv and yelling at everyone to calm down does not actually calm everyone down #auspol

He's threatening to blow up civilian infrastructure if his political demands are not met. Is this not, quite literally, the formal definition of terrorism?

My suggested band for #NoKings But I guess they'd need to be brought out of retirement?

Houthis have entered the chat #auspol

Ah yes, renewables are to blame for the crisis caused by a lack of * checks notes * non renewable energy FFS #auspol

You never know. It could happen tomorrow. This day might might be his last.

If it's really a "Strait" of Hormuz, then how does it explain all the seamen?

Ok, which one of you wags called Trump pretending to be Iran?

I will also not build a windfarm on the US coastline, for the low price of $1B

48 hours of golf, not Gulf

Well at least an oil crisis isn't "woke"

There should be a scavenger hunt delivery service Get a cryptic card with QR to scan... ...choose a password on a strange site... ...go to this depot? It might be there... ? Oh, wait. THAT ALREADY EXISTS!

We really should get "first dibs" on our own gas, and our own oil. Infuriating!! www.abc.net.au/news/2021-10... #auspol

Remember: There were supposed to be zero human truck drivers by 2026. Don't fire your employee eggs before the AI chickens hatch.

We are not Hormuzed

Asked our local billionaire if the war had made it more expensive to fuel the superyacht "Nah, already stocked up on cocaine last month, as luck would have it"

We did it! Second hottest, with a "Godzilla El Niño" on the way. #auspol

If he's not fighting a war, why doesn't Hegseth rename it: Department of Special Military Operations