If the Paradise EMP thing is real, the only logical conclusion is that it's controlled by a country with a president who's way too hot to be a politician. Whether or not it needs to be a man is unclear. But if we can figure out which world leader is the hottest, that'll be the country with the EMP.

So what do we think the odds are that the EMP thing from Paradise that stopped the nuclear missiles is real and controlled by a country that would use it to prevent the U.S. from nuking Iran?

i can't be the only one who thought 9/11, right?

The Iranian people understand how brutal and oppressive their government is on a deeply personal level, and yet, they're still out there, putting their bodies on the line, forming human chains and daring Trump to look them in the eyes when he kills them. If that's not heroism, I don't know what is.

there are only so many possible outcomes post-trump, and dems could easily win in '28, only for republicans to exploit voters' short memories and win the next several elections as we squander our one real shot at serious reform unless we win the messaging war, that's all but guaranteed

i get that congress isn't in session, and there's only so much elected dems can do to stop trump here. but idk maybe get together and pitch a giant fit about the president threatening to do war crimes? raise a big ole stink about the president clearly being unfit for office? anything to make news?

this is the meal everyone was worried would kill 89 year old Byron Nelson, who then got so addicted to Thai food he'd regularly fly into Atlanta to eat at Nan Thai

You generally expect to be the depressed kind of tired after a breakup, but this isn't that. I feel like my bones need to sleep for 1000 years. Like I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in months. And maybe I haven't? Between the cats and sharing the bed with someone else, it's at least plausible.

Well that's not suspicious in the slightest

good news: it's not a problem because i have no appetite bad news: bodies need food to function

really, it's irresponsible not to put nuclear missiles on the moon and give control of them to AI

This lamp looks better on the inconvenient to turn on side of the room, which means I'll use it less, but when I do, I'll like it more. Can someone not just come in and design a professional apartment for me for free?

Two weeks of growth, time for first trimming soon.

Not as bad as I was expecting after not playing for like 8 months

The cashier at the grocery store couldn't stop flirting with me*, and I am so back *made eye contact and then smiled in a completely professional manner

shit i forgot i don't know how to feed myself

Turnpike Troubadours: Still a perfect soundtrack for driving away from a breakup 2024 Fiat 500e: Truly a ridiculous car to drive away from a breakup

If Trump dies on Easter weekend, the evangelical response is going to be so unhinged, you might actually wish he was still alive

This feels like a place you buy when you've given up on ever having a woman visit

on the Tampa Airport train to the rental car place, and an elderly lady was staring at me-- her: oh, I'm just looking at your tattoos. Did they hurt? me: not too bad; you get used to it her: you know, jesus had tattoos. right on his hands. he got them for you. me: °_° her: have a blessed easter

I wasn’t mean enough to these people

Damn, if the press has been printing lies for 20 years, Elon must have won so many defamation suits against the news outlets that published those lies.

Finally, Kamala's time to shine!

trump take burger

hey chat is ten billion dollars a lot of money or nah

I will just say, as a southerner born & bred, I have a great deal of sympathy for anyone thinking, "how did I get in this Waffle House?"

shot, chaser

I don't know if anything could be worse for good writing than getting high on your own supply. As much as imposter syndrome sucks, at least it pushes you to do better. The Duffer brothers got lazy, phoned it in, and the results were predictably terrible. Worrying you're bad is good, actually.

LMAO that trailer is at least twice as long as I was expecting

I have watched the 5.5-hour Stranger Things video, and now I'm mad all over again

Trump wouldn’t be the first person whose job suffers as he gets into a major home renovation project.

Pretty sure this is supposed to be an insult, but I'm sorry, I don't see the negative here

Imagine trying to kick Nikola Jokic off your basketball team because he makes winning too easy

it's probably a good sign that google's graph tool is broken for both the dow and the s&p 500 right

so that speech was bad news for rich people's money?

I see your piddly little 4 hour video about how much the Star Wars hotel sucked and raise you this 5.5 hour video about how much the last season of Stranger Things sucked

I’m tracking how many olive oils I find at my parents’ house. This is bottle #1.

There are reasons they generally recommend not naming things after people until after they've died

"My husband doesn't like it when I wear heels." Girl, leave him.

The audacity of Sean Duffy walking into this room and telling everyone to take more road trips on the day the average price of gas topped $4

Made it to Tuscaloosa, and so far, the locals have done a good job of hiding it, but I can tell they all know I'm a Georgia fan.

No you did not

I didn’t invent drawing arrows on buildings but I did invent being funny about it

why watch brands aren't beating down my door, begging me to review their watches, no one can say

Well, I mean, if Rob Schneider thinks it's important

Oh hell no

Oh hey look, it's a conspiracy of technofascist billionaires to take over our government and remake our society. #TeslaTakedown

Wishing I had a thicker wallet I could put in my back pocket for the first time ever. But this couch cushion I'm sitting on is really wonky, and I think it could help.

Action movies should have either 0 alien robots or a minimum of 3 alien robots. If your budget doesn't cover that, you make cuts in other places until it does. The only way to make your alien robot movie better is to make it worse.