Don't get too excited: Republican still expected to win in a solidly red district

Oh no, is the "good billionaire" sad people didn't love his dogshit takes on everything?

What fun would heading back to the mainland today be without a nice, prolonged hunt for the rental car keys

Oh yeah the headline is confusing, it looks like they integrated Target connection *into* ChatGPT. Which makes it even stupider. People don't want to shop at Target as is - they think people will do it from inside of ChatGPT?

The Twitter account for the Turning Point USA chapter at OU seems to have only started posting last week with an anti-trans pressure campaign. And then, oh gosh, what are the odds that they just happened to immediately find someone who claims to have been discriminated against by a trans person?

God I can't wait to be out of this house and away from this toilet that whistles for 60 seconds every time you flush it

Farewell Mark Stoops and his love for Kroger Hummus.

I have a terrible idea

As much as I hate Ole Miss and want nothing but bad things to happen to them, I do still cherish the memory of a friend's Bama-fan girlfriend sobbing at the bar in 2014 after they lost to Ole Miss. My one good Ole Miss memory.

Richard Kind

Hold these these autonomous vehicle companies to the standard we hold commercial aviation. (Near perfect safety) Not a tiny bit better than your drunk uncle and 16-yo drivers who are texting (the current road safety standard, which is through the floor)

Pope's not welcome here

I like to tell myself I'm still young and fun, but I just had the urge to tell someone about a new tote I recently got, so I think we can all agree that's no longer the case

Found the one bar in Kona that also has Wyoming fans, and they are not happy

Everyone making fun of Karoline Leavitt's dry-ass Thanksgiving meal is forgetting that, at her husband's age, strong flavors can be overwhelming, and his doctors get mad whenever he eats too much salt.

I did a comic about this three years ago.

oliver cromwell be like

see what you’ve got here is a classic case of too many dries. you’ve got all dries, no wets. major blunder

Since everyone's shopping for Christmas presents, just FYI, fashion brands (Versace, Tom Ford, etc.) sell absolute dogshit watches, and you should not buy them even if they're on some mega sale.

My internet has been out for like 30 hours, and we just assumed the landlord was also mad about it because it's a main house/guest house situation. Nope. He just changed internet providers and didn't bother to tell us.

One of the nurses said my mashed potatoes were the first mashed potatoes she'd ever liked. Because previously, she'd only ever had them unseasoned.

Wait why are you in your jammies I haven't even taken the chicken out of the oven yet

Should I have bought two normal-sized chickens instead of one giant 7 pound Franken-chicken? Yes. Could I resist buying the giant 7 pound Franken-chicken? No, I could not.

Also, season 4 of Stranger Things was bad, actually, and you cannot convince me otherwise

Obama was still president when the first season of Stranger Things aired

MY NAME IS OZYMANDIAS KING OF KINGS

Just a reminder for no reason that our federal government likes to lie. Especially now.

Doors are locked because hell the fuck no, but we just heard what sounded like a small child crying outside one of our windows?????

Boss: "But how on earth are we going to show someone walking and farting in the lead image? You can't see farts!" Graphic designer:

Please help me bully @emarquis.bsky.social into buying the most perfect Saturn Sky Red Line you've ever seen (which I will not link to, so none of you can buy it before she does)

Somehow, I don't think the kind of person who would pick a random recipe off the internet and then make it for Thanksgiving without testing it first was ever going to make anything decent in the first place.

Cheering for Vandy's not looking so fun now, is it

GF has rejected my idea to spend $400 on a rice cooker, and the fact that it will also cook beans did not change her mind

Surely no one's named their kid Skyrizi yet, right? No one would do that to an actual human child, would they?

What a weird day.

I would bet good money that Trump has never looked at either of his sons this way.

trump is, first and foremost, a starfucker

Is it really all that surprising that Trump said nice things about Mamdani? He's handsome. He's funny. He's charismatic. He's genuinely likeable. Mamdani is exactly the kind of guy Trump wishes he could be. Also, we know Trump comes out of every meeting agreeing with the last person he talked to.

GENESIS WAGON I REPEAT GENESIS WAGON

You really have to wonder how many federal and state-level investigations all these ICE raids have interfered with since they started

say what you will about reddit, you don't get multi-year sagas like this anywhere else on the internet

Looks like it's an ice cream for dinner kind of night

LOL @ a single one-star that opened after I moved away + 6 Bib Gourmands

How much did Philadelphia pay to get the tire company to agree to make a list of which restaurants it thinks are good?

Everybody go buy my latest book, and yes, I really wrote it. Why do you ask?

this is the way. you take better care of your phone when you know dropping it will break it

Bro how long does it take you to finish a novel god damn

It’s true! 👀🤣

so who's feeling worse today, texas fans or south carolina fans?