Lowering the temperature significantly while sleeping is resulting in such heavy sleep I don't want to wake up. Almost like we shouldn't be feigning productivity by creating artificially warm environments all winter and instead just slow down and rest more

I'm not sure how to have a good sense of self when I realize what an illusion self is. I've known for a while I need to just believe in something, find My Truth, but the way it's largely fabricated based on subjective factors stands in my way 😮‍💨

More information. www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-...

A friend's photograph of the total solar eclipse we viewed together, and my painting of his photograph

To preface this was my least favorite MKAL ever. The sections were just kind of a slog, and I had to customize it more than I like, however- I am still proud I finished this absolute BEAST (the final bind off was over 1,600 stitches alone) And now on to simpler things!

The nearest sensory deprivation float provider, which was very well reviewed, went out of business. It was expensive but located in the richest county in the country. People live here to work, but that lifestyle isn't exactly conducive to meditation or relaxation....

Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things for me to do in a romantic relationship. I can be convinced my needs are flexible, but they're truly not. Ultimately, I will find someone who understands, respects, and admires that.

I just realized that when I hear about tragedy, I feel morally obligated to pause and channel the pain and suffering of those involved. I try to imagine so deeply what they must be feeling. I truly feel like that's what I can and should do to acknowledge their loss and pain. But I suffer, and do

I honestly just want to curl into a ball and cry for hours over everyone I've lost. I'm not strong enough for this world

I just realized that if having a positive opinion of me stands in direct contrast to your own ego, you won't

Driving an unfamiliar car...it has a giant button/knob in front of the gear shift to control what is selected on the display screen. It feels like a throwback to the scroll wheel on a blackberry 🦳🦳🦳

Happy birthday Jean-Michel Basquiat

The day they put a fat model on TPIR is the day I can die happy

Cut my hair for the first time in over a year. I usually like it short but had lost touch with any consistent sense of preference or identity I guess... I'm back?

You think bell hooks has watched all of sex in the city

Trees that appear to be made of bone

Work in progress. Didn't want to work within the limitations of any previously started piece, so I just dripped some "apple tart" acrylic paint onto this piece of broken board I saved from a taekwondo demo class I participated in years ago. Started moving the paint and was reminded of the Shenandoah

My bio has read "A thinker and a lover" for over ten years, but today I'm realizing it should say "A thinker and an addict"

Telling me I'm not trying is the best way to motivate me to give up. I am trying, my best just sucks a lot of the time

Realized wicked is showing in IMAX at the air and space museum so now I have an awesome day planned for tomorrow!!

I just turned on the price is right channel for background noise, and there was an episode ending. Drew and the models were in the crowd signing autographs, as was Guy Fieri? Now I must search for more info...

#ForestFriday #watercolour #painting #art #ContemporaryLandscapePainting #watercolorOnPaper

I'm really learning how far from love I've been

There is an optimal rate for consumption of an iced coffee. That rate changes based on the strength of the coffee, the temperature of the environment, and the subsequent speed of ice melt. To consume the iced coffee at the optimal rate also requires self-discipline.

A flower from the bouquet my home is currently being blessed by

Some beautiful things I noticed today

This is a Shoop. The Shoop possesses enormous, fluctuating amounts of power. The appearance of a Shoop is always accompanied by a massive black hole. It may be part of the Shoop's anatomy, but not enough studies have been conducted to say so conclusively. Acrylic on canvas, my latest piece.

Just paid my rent minus the cost of parking until those motherfuckers figure out how to count enough parking spaces for each resident

You know, it would have probably been a healthier choice to breathe through the anger about the parking at my apartment and work on letting it go, but I decided to look up reviews of the complex and screenshot all the ones that complain about the exact problem I've been bitching about because the

“Ripples” Second Beach/Olympic National Park/WA #Stunday

Nightswimming #abstractart #abstract #sketchbook #artprocess #artsky

Per the cave allegory, isn't simply being aware we're in the cave the best we can hope for in this existence?

I only recently learned/realized, which is scary in and of itself, that the areas of the brain responsible for caregiving typically develop during pregnancy, but only for the pregnant person, of course? So half of the parental pair gives wayyyy less of a shit when that baby is born, naturally 🤯

Guy just walked out of my apartment building wearing a shirt that says PAY BILLS AND DIE. Friend.

Being able to see the beauty in everything and the good in everyone has led me to turn a blind eye to too much

Going on a week now that I'm a bit fixated on the parking situation in my complex. Just drove around the next neighborhood over to see if I could park for free on the street. The neighborhood is still being built, but there are a few residents already...seems like kind of gray area situation I

Is the Buddhist path one that removes a person from the rollercoaster of emotion that is experiencing pleasure and pain as a result of attachment?

I said "I love you" to a stranger yesterday, and he said it back without hesitation. There could be a number of explanations for this, but I choose to believe that the desire for and exchange of love can be that simple. We just want to be seen and felt, and that can be accomplished in a moment.

People tell me I'm strong because I'm not dead

Is mental stability truly accessible for all? Or even most? I have severe doubts it's accessible to me. I've been pretty unstable my whole life, very attached and emotional. Life changes send me absolutely spinning

I feel hyper-attached to interests and outcomes as a natural state. I care, a lot, too much. I'm very sensitive. I view that as a shortcoming, so I disallow myself most forms of comfort as resistance to the impulse to control everything to make myself more comfortable. There's something wrong there

My spiritual journey keeps leading me to crave death. For us all.

I realized the freedom allowing myself to be afraid would bring me during a sound bath in a cave. It was really dark down there, and I was unaware it would be in the dark when I agreed to it, but the fear the dark evoked led me to that emotional pivot

Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, Sleepy Hollow, New York. October 2024 #photography #trees #autumncolor #October

Been irate on and off for the last three days because it's become clear to me that my apartment complex is intentionally marking spots as reserved without having anyone renting them to reduce the amount of general parking and make reserved parking more appealing. BUT no one is buying the reserved

H.M. Saffer II, Harvest Patterns (oil on canvas, 2024)

I'm just really struggling to establish a new normal without alcohol. I've been thinking about drinking a lot lately

Looking forward to AA later. They don't know much about my story yet, but I think today I'm going to share how much better my life was right before I stopped drinking. I was the most stable I've been in my adult life, so stable I thought I could handle not drinking. Feels like a miscalculation...

Some of the healthy choices I make feel like a betrayal of my true nature

Segments of my latest doodle painting Acrylic on canvas