SKIMS IS STOLEN VALOR

No more scrolling, only booking. Let's talk about how evil social media is and make out instead of letting the algorithm control us 💖

In case anyone is actually confused by the press reporting on Mamdani’s “muddled views” on sex work, he very clearly co-sponsors the sex worker org backed decriminalization legislation and not “legalization” sex workers do not want Which is the correct position. Take it from a sex worker organizer.

well, call me a woman of faith

Let me float all of your blues away! 🌊

The key to vitality is walking at least 30 miles a week and having lots of s*x

Perfect weather to curl up in bed and use my giant boobs as a pillow

they're talking about me at the Arab grocery again.

The only time I've ever been starstruck was meeting Miss Major at Desiree. May she have everything in death she wanted in life.

lounging around in a silk nightgown and with imperiled rights really makes one feel they might rather have been born a couple hundred years ago as a marquise

okay, but what do i DO with 200 pink roses?

There's adult content of spiderman but the webbing he shoots is come, right? right?

Just so yall know, I'm in the process of relaunching Black Ash Consulting. It's going to be pretty different this time around! I'll post here when it's ready to go.

Malware can be embedded in QR codes. Some security systems read QR codes. Why not QR malware on clothing? Can other more broadly useful/disruptive anti-surveillance be deployed passively on clothing?

My love language is touching your butt.

Sorry if I'm late getting back to your text/email. I may have been raptured.

Republicans complaining trans people are "well-funded" is so funny because they're the ones paying my bills the past fifteen years.

How am I supposed to get anything done with Silksong and Hades 2 releasing in the same month?

The American government needs to find a new reason for mass surveillance because 9/11 only has one more year on its parents' insurance.

Let's goooo

Happy Independence Day! Doing my patriotic duty: Half off for everyone who fought in the Revolutionary War.

I got an incall! It's adorable and super close to Eli Lilly/the stadium/downtown. I'll be taking bookings there starting the first week of July ☺️

Anyway, surprising even myself, I'm in Indianapolis for the week.

Always a sad day when a decade-plus guest's email bounces as undeliverable.

My hottest take is that if a dishwasher ruins your cast iron pan, you didn't season it right to begin with.

What am I playing second? Deltarune, of course!

When they ask to be your "first" just so they can surprise you with a morning bout of Mario Kart.

Gotta be honest: I simply don't like the internet anymore.

You idiots. You absolute nincompoops. What have you done.

🌴Miami April 11-14 🦞Boston April 14-16 duos available

🌴Miami April 11-14 🦞Boston April 14-16 duos available

Charleston, SC today Savannah, GA tomorrow Miami Friday-Monday

Which of these should I release first?

Had a blast as always at opening day yesterday! See you soon East Coast!

Flying out soon! April: 5th Baltimore 6-7 DC 8 Philadelphia 9-10 Charleston, SC 11-14 Miami

Scurrying around the East Coast in April 5th Baltimore 6-7 DC 8 Philadelphia 9-10 Charleston, SC 11-14 Miami

My birthday is in one month (wishlist in bio)! Can you believe I'm turning 198??

When someone breaks up with you because you're too big, how do you not turn it into a humble brag? Asking for a friend named Addy FInch.

Love that every time I almost break down and place an Eros ad, I put it off long enough that I can't be sure they'll turn it around quickly enough so I end up just not bothering. Truly I am blessed.

I'm so tired of how scammy ad sites are. Just renewed my account on one and AFTER I paid they sent notice that I had to also pay to advertise on a different partner site or I'd lose my original ad.

I absolutely love working with @rubbermarie.bsky.social Booking for July/Aug in Chicago and Detroit.

Duos with @clovertravels.bsky.social in NYC 4/6-4/8 💦 You know what to do… 💌[email protected]

Every time one of my friends makes it over from Tweeter, I get a little more powerful

"Squirt is just pee!" he hollers derisively to which I counter "So, you're tellin me all pee is squirt?? Yummy yum yum."

I need the ferarri facial hat

How am I supposed to do admin when there's a thunderstorm soaking my panties?

When I say I'm a patriot, I mean in a distinctly Myra Breckinridge way.

In dark moments when you think about the worst that can happen, ask yourself what's the best that can happen. I also came out in an awful time to be trans and it wasn't always great but the gender euphoria was more powerful than the dysphoria. I hope you get a chance to be authentically you. ❤️