Sarah Winchester: The ghosts of those killed by my family’s rifles require me to build them a house with stairs to nowhere and windows and doors that can’t open. Donald J. Trump: Hold my Diet Coke, I can build THE BEST house for ghosts. Ghosts LOVE ballrooms.

Fuck, some days you’ve just got to write some code to keep the spark alive.

“Much better” thought Donald J. Trump. “Now they match.”

I brought out my LEGO White House to make a post satirizing the destruction of the East Wing. And then this happened as I was carrying it, proving irony is dead.

Tell me when you learned to type without telling me when you learned to type. I’ll start.

This seems like A Bad Thing, but it’s somehow equally likely that it’s going to be something insane like Hegseth, hoping to reaffirm his job, hosting a McDonalds-catered luncheon where Trump sits at the head of the table and each attendee has to say something nice about him.

One of my favorite features about iOS 26 is how the Phone app doesn’t know how to count, especially in its new “unified” view.

I’ve spent more time fixing garbage Windows 11 installs than I’ve spent using Windows 11. 1/n

This cat is destined for management.

Tom Clancy’s Guide to the Galaxy

Good news everyone, just down the road at the Campbell, CA Courtyard Marriott, there’s a decorative statuary to go with my wall art.

My son just send me an Instagram reel-story-post-whatever thing from Ebaumsworld and I immediately turned into a hyper-realistic skeleton and crumbled into dust.

What video game’s music goes way harder than you’d ever expect? And why is it a Kirby game?

Someone was paid a lot of money to come up with this brand that looks and sounds like a group project from an Intro to Digital Media course that was thrown together at the last minute.

I promise, you're never going to guess this bot's first post.

Honestly a good point for most requests for advice or problem solving. If I’m reviewing an eng. spec, knowing what to focus on is going to make sure I don’t end up peppering the doc with comments that aren’t relevant. Luckily, we don’t have to worry about testicle law in web development. Too much.

Tag yourself, I’m President Bandc.

If this were even “a thing,” I’m pretty sure it’s how you end up in a Resident Evil sort of situation.

How to tell if your hotel is secretly operated by the @cpsc.gov.

Them: I bet you wont let me arrange a half-dozen buttons with labels and icons horizontally on an original iPhone SE either, will you?

I don’t think I’ve encountered “context menus with threatening auras” until this @cathoderaydude.bsky.social video. www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYOh...

I’m getting followed by scantily clad bot ladies, meaning I’m way more popular here than I ever was over *there*.

Imagine Frank Bisignano writing this for attention from Trump, who’ll just ignore it and continue feuding with Elon and ranting about groceries while rubber stamping whatever fascism slides across his desk.

I’m so glad @linkedin.com is one of those companies that periodically send you reminders to update your email subscription preferences like this:

This is how I command a starship.

Valerie Bertinelli (@wolfiesmom.bsky.social) once retweeted my instructions on how to disable some stupid BS Musk did to Twitter.

iPadOS 26: Yo dawg I heard you like settings so we put settings in your Settings so you can set while you set.

Some day, we’re going to get an oral history on Vice or something detailing how Trump and Musk’s falling out was precipitated by Musk deciding to walk into the Oval Office, bags of Taco Bell held high, with a hat that says “Wanna taco bout it?” as a joke after Trump went off about the TACO acronym.

*frantically opens Bluesky and starts posting* I HAVE AN EDIT OF THE “PEAK PERFORMANCE” MEME SHOWING TRUMP AND MUSK’S TWEETS AM I TOO LATE?!??

ADD a letter and ruin a movie Star Trek II: The Wreath of Khan

If you load this page it contacts 82 IP addresses executing 256 separate HTTP transactions to download 18MB of data writing 64 cookies to your device to tell you “no”

Without downloading new pictures, my mental state.

My wife got me a new computer, and for the first time in seventeen years I’m going to try developing for a new platform in my spare time. 😳 Let’s see if my eyes are bigger than my stomach.

In case anyone doubted that @askamanager.org post about guys flirting with calendar autoreply bots.

The curse of being a Maxis fan who lives in the East Bay is seeing a building and thinking "I'm pretty sure that building is in SimCity 2000" and then being RIGHT

If the Campbell, CA DoubleTree’s rooms get renovated, I call dibs on this 90s-fast-food-dining-room wall art.

Has @usatoday.com kidnapped you, @nytpitchbot.bsky.social? Blink once for no, twice for yes.

Oh please, @support.bsky.team, please let us upload actual GIFs without converting to video first. If anyone deserves the ability to, it’s @nocontexttrek1.bsky.social.

Me: mom can we have mr. worldwide? Mom: no, we have pitbull at home Pitbull at home:

Did we, just, not dunk on him hard enough when he did this at Twitter? This is Vincent Adultman “doing a business”.

Or, don’t be like Khan trying to speedrun starship operations and learn *why* things work so that you’ll actually know what you’re doing.

Doing my civic duty to report mapping errors.

I can’t decide if I want to dunk on this with “This is the business equivalent of a pristine lifted F-350 with truck nuts” or “Someone’s sexual awakening was to Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross”, please help.

Here’s a premium “Luigi thinks you’re a dumbass and he’s telling you why” profile picture for your enjoyment.

How is it 2024 and we’re still producing weirdly shaped hand-wash-only collectible cups? Is there seriously someone out there going “Hey, you know this cup that is explicitly designed to be desirable? Let’s make it impossible to fucking clean.”

Some bitcoin nonsense app scam thing just followed me. And now it’s blocked! Anyway, here’s a picture of me holding a cat.

I get the impression that Apple Music Replay was not designed for people with my listening habits.

Drake’s claim that Apple was paid to redirect Siri requests is bonkers, but amusingly, I complained on the work Slack on March 4th that Siri regularly misheard “Play ‘SimCity 3000 Soundtrack’” as “Play ‘Good Kid’ by Kendrick Lamar”. Enjoy this foray into both my music tastes and Netflix work chat.

Replace “candles” with “tomatoes” and I’ll be a real-life Dril tweet after the tariffs.