All of you, whether friends from Twixter or new ones here, have been the best.

Did I leave the psych hospital when I shouldn't have? Thank goodness for a therapy appointment later today. Hard to make decisions when mentally unwell.

One of the last things on Xitter before I deactivated today was a reply where the anonymous acct told me I'm a horrible person. And they added a lecture about my past affiliations w antipsych, how I once sought support there before turning my back. Mostly I don't need others telling me I'm horrible.

on a psych unit prison pens and paper bags for drawing no door on the bathroom, no showering after 9pm no phone, no coffee, no pajamas (glad it was brief; glad to be back home)

destroy

journal drawing "Please Reject Me"

So tired I could barely move and then I fall into my bed and it’s pain here, pain there, mild enough but everywhere I turned. I would cry if I could cry, but instead I get suicidal thoughts.

Asserting that psychiatry is just dumb use of the DSM, reducing everyone and everything to disorders and codes and destroying humanity and all meaning in life, lacks nuance. You can see that, right? I'm not being that funny or overly dramatic in portraying that view.

DBT: Your feelings are wrong. CBT: Your thinking is wrong.

My goal in psychiatric treatment is stability and in psychotherapy, to not feel so imprisoned within my self. Returning to work isn’t the goal.

journal drawing "Cat, Don't Leave Me Yet"

When a movement that claims they are in favour of informed consent and against coercive treatment find themselves in a carnal relationship with MAHA/MAGA, things can get awkward. Be careful what you wish for.

This is what a year of psychotherapy is like.

journal drawing "Feeling is the Meaning"

cooking

coffee space (lime optional)

I love how the antis act like CCHR is a legit organisation, when everyone knows it is an official wing of Scientology. It’s not even a secret. www.scientology.org/how-we-help/...

If Scientology is promoting your work, maybe it’s time to consciously uncouple from these bedfellows.

journal drawing "Overanalyzing Myself"

Anti-psychiatry professors when confronted with the reality of mental illness:

SSRIs aren't the worst! I also laugh at the notion. "He doesn’t roll his eyes at people who say psychiatry traumatized them. He thinks a lot of them are telling the truth." Yes, treatment is full of bad & good encounters. Sikorav Against the World www.psychiatrymargins.com/p/sikorav-ag...

Mental illness is all to real to those struggling with it, and to their families. Don’t accept denial as an answer.

Got a proper haircut at a salon instead of whacking away with scissors at home.

journal drawing "Sex Dream"

The Dance of the Blue Sharks

Oldest selfie on my phone

Virginia Republicans leaned hard into anti-trans propaganda as part of their main messaging in the final months of this campaign. It fell completely flat with voters. It did not resonate. Virginia Republicans came across as bizarre and detached from working class families.

The transphobic messaging completely failed to help Republicans tonight. The anti-trans propaganda was a losing strategy which the GOP pushed all their chips in on, and it failed miserably. They lost every major race tonight.

journal drawing "Futile Masking"

Some food that thankfully I already had cooked, so just a warming up. Because I feel like crap.

journal drawing "Woke with a Start"

Oh, wow, just realized that 23 years ago today I got clean and sober. Look at those cool cannabis leaf beads strung on my mirror. That was before. Ha! Good ol' days. That's the porch of the house where I lived in Oakland, CA. Smoked a lot of cigarettes out there.

I haven't been her for awhile. If you knew Audrey, unfortunately she died last month. I miss her terribly. That spicy tabby ran this house, and now I do it but I'm boring.

What is good psychotherapy like for me, you ask? journal drawing: "The Precious and the Edges"

Sometimes my meds cause my blood pressure to drop and I'm dizzy for a period of time. This doesn't happen often. To me, it's a tolerable adverse effect. It's tolerable because my other choice is plunging back down into depression. I wonder what others find to be tolerable adverse effects.

the lovely sun

Once again psychology papers and articles making huge leaps. There’s no causality here but it doesn’t stop the authors actively suggesting it. Many psych illnesses are associated with poor sleep and conspiratorial beliefs. It doesn’t mean one causes the other. This conclusion is totally unsupported.

time to cook

fabulous Audrey Jane

I've found a great outpatient psychiatrist & therapist. Yet, if I need inpatient care, I don't know what I'll get. One hospital is excellent, but if beds aren't available, the other half a dozen choices are awful. It's shameful to be put where you're made worse & we know better & can do better.

I find posts about taking on tRmp & EElon & billionaire influencers in general that are like 'prove them wrong, and show that people power can beat big money, by electing thus & such' so tiring because elected politicians don't do shit. (Just a bit disillusioned here is all.)

This, and, as the posted article discusses, while inclusion of PMDD was an important first step, the majority of people with clinically significant effects of their cycle on mental health are excluded from that dx. This needs to be a much broader part of psychiatry/psychology training and practice.

Audrey's appreciating the nice sun.

Oh! Hi, Audrey.

Jumping around the sofa and out the door - busy afternoon for Audrey

Hard Stories to Tell (38"x 30" acrylic painting) I just finished this painting, a piece I started way back during pandemic quarantine. I've worked on it sporadically, then much more consistently in recent weeks until I said stop, it's done. 🧵of start to finish, if you're interested. 1/4

late day sun

shadow cat

sweet baby Audrey Jane

This painting is getting near completion.