This is absolute barbarism. The choice has never been clearer.

WHY DO I ALWAYS FORGET TO BET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

like honestly he kinda already is

Labour (+3) 😍🌹

freed from the malign influence of his evil vizier the British public can finally see the true Keir Starmer! 🌹😍

yer da's handling the divorce well I see www.theguardian.com/world/2026/f...

🚨BREAKING - And with the resignation of Morgan McSweeney it's surely curtains for #SirKeir! Certainly #SirCabbage has effortlessly stepped up as the clear and assured frontrunner - surely it's all over for the beleagured PM? 🥬🌹 #BattlingCabbageCrustAhead

🚨 BREAKING Polymarket puts #SirCabbage a long way ahead of #SirKeir as we go into the weekend - I know which vegetable my money's on! #KarmaKarmaKarmaKabbage

🚨 DROWNING MAN LATEST! - it's been a Tough day for #SirKeir - but he's not the only one looking frayed - #SirCabbage is also beginning to look a little stressed, Battle has been well and truly joined!! 🥬🌹🥬🌹🥬 #TimeForBlair

🚨 DEATH MATCH LATEST - tough night for #SirKeir but #SirCabbage isn't looking too hot either! Who will prevail in the EPIC contest?!?

🚨 LIVE LEAK - FIGHT TO THE DEATH: Can #SirCabbage out last #SirKeir? - who will fall apart faster! #DeathMatch Follow along for live Updates!

for some insane reason there's an industrial incinerator in South London blowing particulates over half the city - and they've just approved doubling how much waste gets burned there. if the poo in the river doesn't get you the airborne toxic event will.

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have just published part of Keir Starmer's proposed INCENDIARY Davos speech 🔥: "I love that word 'relationship.' Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship; a 'Special Relationship' based on the President" [1/3]

preorder our Labour Friends of NATO badge! the coolest badge for the coolest cats! 🌹🇬🇧❤️🙏🔥🌹🌹🌹🌹🥵🥵🥵

you don't get much Lady Di posting these days, I guess COVID probably wiped out a chunk of her base

I thought you said they/them Klingon

I’m profoundly uninterested in the “cultural safety” of the status quo, especially when that culture is predicated on a violent, racist and discriminatory dominance. You do not get to invoke this language to erase those already disadvantaged and discriminated against - it is entirely obscene.

he's been cheating at chess

Look! it's not credible nor sensible to accurately predict something before the event by extrapolating from material conditions or people's past actions and words! that's just magic, pure speculation, crankpottery, a fever dream, you leftwing Cassandra dimwits: this could never have been predicted

These are striking words coming from Sir Keir! Has he gone too far? This could cause a diplomatic incident! oh hang on! phew! stand down, I got muddled

I hope he is! Cannot tell you how incredibly stoked I am for Sir Keir announcing Peace in Our Time, I'm going to fucking levitate 🌹

Sir Keir has played an absolute blinder, the twitter hordes can shove their demands - what the British public absolutely admires most are platitudinous euphemisms backed up by facial expressions running the full gamut from 'startled awake from deep sleep' to 'bowel cramping abject terror'🌹🇬🇧🫡

Entering 2026

There's a Russian equivalent of this where a chap wanders around Piccadilly and person after person gushes about how much they love Sir Keir Starmer and the unmitigated joy of living in the UK - but they won't broadcast it because of woke 😡🌹🇬🇧

YOU CANNOT KILL AN IDEA

YOU CANNOT KILL AN IDEA

Barry Lyndon is just Sharpe's Rifles for liberals

A touch of class from Sadiq Khan here. A tribute to all the brave patriots who died this year erecting flags outside of other people's homes. 🎇🎆🇬🇧

Smart, dignified, trying to unite, more productive, comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week), getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries, at ease, eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats), a patient, better driver 🌹🇬🇧

🌹

'Geopolitical opponent' we will clearly obliterate through #pluck and #securonomics! 🌹

this just reminds me of reading Alain de Botton

We Go Again! This train don't stop! Getting on with Job! #LabourSupremacy! #BeLabourliever! #NeverStopNotGivingUp! #2026! #ChampagneSocialism! 🥂🌹

new anaconda film: solid reminder that the only funny thing jack black has done in the past decade is dissolve his passion project rock band because his band mate joked about Trump getting shot

no one here asking if having to engage with tedious meat puppets might be harming psychologically delicate AIs I notice 👀

a very sad thing happened last night in France. Bridget Bardot a tortured and struggling, but once very talented movie star and singer, has passed away reportedly due to the anger she caused others through her massive, unyielding and incurable affliction known as MIZZY DERANGEMENT SYNDROME

and they claim you can't teach them empathy

2026 will be hard. but it will be easier than 2027

come on!

open the box my superluminaries

🤞🤞🤞🤞

you know people really underestimate how hot Sir Keir can look with just a little bit of Photoshop and AI assist and chiaroscuro, he really could be a Jilly Cooper hunk 😍🌹

touching, linking arms, holding arms, hugging, they're all sending messages about how close they are to each other.

it's what we've all been fearing

If you want to skip Christmas this year and get back to the Sir Keir's Britain grindset, why not try this delicious Christmas Dinner Smoothie by Shunt? It contains bone marrow, which aids focus and raises testosterone, giving you that alpha dawg look.

the depressing effect of Long Corbyn again starkly evident here 🌹