Outrage as ZERO BRITS raptured

Yo B dog! You f*cked up!

keep seeing trailers for Tron and they all just look like a toothpaste advert where fluoride goes to battle with gum disease

Recognition is no doubt significant but it will be a hollow gesture if the UK does not also seek to end Israel's genocide, illegal occupation, and system of apartheid against the Palestinian people. 🧵1/3

Jezza spends his whole life working with CND and somehow manages to walk straight into something akin to mutually assured destruction.

Charlie Kirk murdered for 2nd time as British podcaster declares him 'the American Darren Grimes'

BREAKING 🚨: Sir Keir Starmer vows the Macrons will be forced to use the same bathroom in any future visits if they lose the Candace Owens defamation case. Other national leaders expected to follow suit. 🌹

Back in the groove, having a great week: the Epstein questions have gone away; the underlings are all busy entertaining themselves; that young guy got shot and bled out proving how the Donald is once again stronger, more virile, touched by destiny; the ballroom is nearly complete - salad days

And this is why every functional party needs its Peter Mandelson. And a little book full of kompromat. And preferably backing from a disgruntled billionaire or two. Then you get results! 🌹

Deliberately wearing flatter shoes than usual to emphasise Mr Trump's impressive stature is just one of the little [sic] things that Sir Keir has done to help this country - he understands diplomatic flattery and he never stops working for us! 🌹 🫡 #AttentionToDetail #Politics #SpecialRelationship

Sir Keir: in people's hearts and people's minds 🌹

The system works! Two responsible, adult serious heavyweight candidates - we hope Lucy has learnt and grown since she lost her post & I'm sure she'll have taken on board the lesson - without wanting to tip my hand, clearly Bridget is a better choice - either way the future of the party is assured! 🌹

Does anyone know what happens if you get banned on Twitter/X but you pay subscription for a month would they reinstate account? I've lost touch with a few ppl since my Tom Skinner impersonation evisceration

Just to be clear - this government stands with Valhalla and her right to defend herself against acts of terrorism. 🌹

As good Liberals the Macrons know they'll just have to accept the verdict if they lose! 🫡 Bon/ne Chance Bridgette!

Exciting new role for me at Labour HQ!🌹planning contingency actions and remarks in the wake of possible political assassinations! Currently working on Prince Andrew -controversial one- but I'm playing it safe designating 3 days national mourning & a state funeral if the worst should happen! 😅🌹🇬🇧

Me: i’m Autistic Them: Oh you take things literally Me: No that’s kleptomania

Eating shit is really, truly the greatest skill you can have in politics! everyday you must deal with powerful rich people who barely know you exist & your job is simply to make sure you grab whatever crumbs fall off their table -without upsetting them! Not everyone is cut out for this. But we are!🌹

When the American President says you have to eat shit the correct response is always: yes Sir🫡! how much? I've brought my own spoon unless you'd like me to buy one from you? Anything else is just pathetic gesture student politics. Sir Keir is a true statesman 🌹🇬🇧 www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

The Special Relationship IS STRONG 💪🏻- I don't know why anyone would think going for a ride in a golden carriage without ever leaving the safety of the castle grounds is a bit on the nose! You can't trust the Hoi polloinnot to ruin things: Starmer is playing a blinder.🌹

Yep everyone should get one free pass if their target was Diane Abbott because that was NORMAL!! & honestly we'd all be out of a job otherwise 😂🤣🌹

Sir Keir would kill for these numbers so I hope he picks President Trump's brains & we can get this show back on the road! Real Masterstroke to bring Trump over now - Sir Keir simply doesn't get the credit his 5D chess deserves but I know Trump will show how game respects game & ppl will love it! 🌹

People say Sir Keir is indecisive and undemonstrative - it's bullshit - this man IS A BOSS 🤴🏻🌹

Democracy is such a bad idea, join the Labour party if you don't like having a say on the organisations you join! 🌹

You know someone once had the temerity to suggest my job as a Labour policy twonk was a 'privilege' & that the 'civic responsibility, power and trust' was its 'own reward'!!! I had to remind them that NO I am here to future proof my career, burnish my CV, be gratified by underlings & settle scores🌹

Who is worst served by their fanbase- Orwell, Alan Moore, Scorsese, Warren Mitchell, the Wachowskis?

This has rocked the BOXING COMMUNITY, the BOXING COMMUNITY is grieving, this has shaken the BOXING COMMUNITY to its core, everyone in the BOXING COMMUNITY is gutted by this, I think we'll see the BOXING COMMUNITY coming together, so many people in the BOXING COMMUNITY are asking: how did we get here

84,000 men soiled their pants in Central London yesterday. ARE YOU LISTENING, SIR KEIR? WE WILL NOT GO SILENT INTO THE GOOD NIGHT. 🇬🇧

Boss - I know this sounds drastic but we've run the numbers and this could do wonders for your polling! A seven point bump - maybe more!! 🤓🌹

Operation Moderate Dog

Sir Keir is a bloody good 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 PM - an ordinary bloke doing an extraordinary job - and the loudmouth sixth form bleaters need to Grow Up!! 🌹 after all it's not like there aren't legitimate concerns about a deviant leftist 5th column funded by Soros money teaching woke gender vaccines to kids! 🤬😡

In the 'Book of Heroic Failures' there's a section of famous last lines one of which is "you couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" This could well be a new entry

Q: My condolences on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk. How are you holding up? TRUMP: I think very good. And by the way, right there you see all the trucks. They just started construction of the new ballroom for the White House, which is something they've been trying to get for about 150 years.

“The Guantanamo Bay McDonalds has lowered its flag to half mast in honour of Charlie Kirk” is some shit I’d make up for a laugh. Alas

plonk

Pretty www.theguardian.com/artanddesign...

SO MUCH NEWS THIS WEEK

you know how in sci-fi movies when a character doesn’t know they’re dreaming and everything gets unreal and weird as their brain tries to convince them to reject their perception of reality

Gaaah, dropped by Evil Corp

The UK ambassador to the US advising his paedophile best friend to use Sun Tzu to obliterate the teenage girls who reported his industrial level of rape and abuse. To which the current PM shrugged.

We actually did lose someone wonderful who made a positive contribution to the world yesterday

What a time to be alive, or in Charlie Kirk's case, dead (disputed)

America - still the country where your dreams can come true

Charlie Kirk explicitly said that empathy was a modern invention and a problem. Would getting all weepy about him really be honoring his memory? I’m just trying to start a dialogue here, another thing he believed in.

We can't say it publicly because of National Security but it's OBVIOUS Lord Peter Mandelson & Prince Andrew were working undercover with MI5 & SIS to expose Epstein & take him down. They SUCCEEDED. Epstein is DEAD now- you don't get a parade when you work in the shadows but 🌹🇬🇧 ambassador is a hero!