I realize asking people on the Internet about health, food, and fitness is a bad idea but I'm gonna do it anyway. Is it possible for someone who's made it to 40 without ever having been *snatched* to gain muscle and burn fat? Not completely reshape the body but tighten parts of it up?

This guy is wearing a T-shirt that says "real athletes run miles, not yards" and I'm trying to understand his beef. That being said someone else came in here with a crisp TPUSA shirt on his way to his construction job so I seem to be in hell.

One of my favorite parts of the continual online debate is the response to "Hey, this part of what your saying is factually incorrect" is almost NEVER "ok, what did I get wrong?" but instead is "look you [slur], you should [redacted} because you're too [redacted] to even [redacted] you [slur]."

I'm trying to come up with an "ortolan to go" joke that involves people walking out of a fast food chain with cloths over their heads.

I think it's one of those days I need to get offline and interact with real people and not the demons in my brain

I don't understand non, especially former, Christians who feel the need to take the Christian Gospels as inerrant truth, except for the Resurrection. Y'all are free and don't need to do that.

Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice, 3% for looking in the mirror twice

I find it REALLY fucking rich that ALL these people who were planning on a mass walk out of their sister's wedding because they think the groom *might* be gay are now pitching a fit because someone else is speculating about if one of their partners does sex work. #WelcomeToPlathville

Dear NYC, This weather is a lousy birthday present. 0/10 no notes

"No guest ever left too soon for me!" -Mamie Fish

... Who's going "I only will eat one third of this 7-11 microwave burrito because that's the serving size"?!!

I'm pleasantly blurred and in 7 minutes, it'll be my birthday. And maybe it's the bourbon. Maybe it's the year we've had. But y'all are cool. I wish I could be as cool and as funny and as interesting as the folks I follow.

I'm like three bourbons in and singing show tunes.

Henry Bolingbrook was a traitor to the realm and everyone since him has been illegitimate.

"You can never have enough hats, gloves, or shoes"

Sometimes my birthday falls around the start of good hoodie weather. And sometimes, it's hurricane season where it's lower 70s but so humid I'm still getting full body sweats.

Whenever the topic of sex scenes in movies and TV shows up, I'm always kinda baffled at how little the idea of what the actors get put through to make those scenes comes up. That's one of my reasons they can be difficult to watch, but ymmv with this.

How are we opening #SeekingSisterWife with a shower scene? This isn't #My600lbLife !!!

These two men are the Vanderbilts Train Daddy is based off of. Mutton Chops is William Henry Vanderbilt, train magnate trying to cross the nation and helped start the Metropolitan Opera. His son is William Kissam, married to Alva and father of Consuelo. #TheGildedAge

In addition to Greg's podcast, I also recommend @vulgarhistory.bsky.social who recently finished up Marie Antoinette history month. Our cultural image of her is so ... stained? Especially by things other people did that I always feel the need to push back when she's held as a frivolity standard+

My favorite time of the month is the "please verify the account with a text pin number before you can do anything"

Oh no... I liked Weapons in the theater but ... am I going to hate it now? (I'm agreeing with some of the issues being brought up, is what I'm saying)

I got raptured but my son was buying me shoes and was short and Rob Lowe wouldn't help him with the rest so Jesus sent me back because He disapproved of my fashion choices.

Jesus saying he has such a strong connection with his brother the way Elphaba and Glinda have such a sister bond feels like it's missing ... A lot of Wicked fan fic to say the least. #ProjectRunway #CerseiLannister #JamieLannister #ew

MadTV had a segment that was a parody of the Oprah show where she would interrupt every guest to explain how the same thing happened to her, to the point where she was screaming about being abducted by aliens over the credits rolling.

Huh. I just sat in the disabled seating on this Amtrak. The conductor came up to me and told me to move because this is for people with disabilities, despite no one sitting there. I didn't argue and just moved. However, I'm kinda stewing today because the idea that someone without a mobility aid+

People abusing the Quiet Car makes me want to become the Quiet Car Batman [Imagine this gif but instead of No Ticket, it's "Talking In The Quiet Car"]

Crossing the street in NYC: Fuck it, the cars will stop and if they don't, we'll scream at them until they do or we're dead. Crossing the street in Paris: Let's wait and not even paw the curb but the moment it gets a little too long in waiting, it's allons-fucking-y.

I've seen comb overs but today was the first day I've seen a comb faux hawk.

My geigh ass actor facebook suggestions are really ... weird, because it will be "person from high school, person in the theater troupe, person from college, Frankie Grande, person you used to hook up with and forgot about, person from high school"

Watching the newest Anne Reardon, I kinda want fried gnocchi (not the exploding kind)

I mean this in the most positive way (there are shitty people in every culture?) but I never want to hear or read Europeans complaining about American tourist behaviors ever again because the WORST behavior I've seen on this trip has been from people who are clearly not speaking American English

I've been really impressed (if that's the right term) at how mobility impaired unfriendly France has generally been.

One day, maybe I'll visit Paris when there isn't a major protest happening.

How I feel walking into a brasserie in this touristy French village and being told that it's not the approved time for dinner like I'm a toddler or something.

I'm not saying that all spaghetti in France is like this but I need to never hear about how American bread is too sweat as last night's bolognese sauce could have been some sort of weird meat and tomato dessert.

I'm gonna attribute most of this to jet lag and weird eating for almost two days but visiting France sure makes me feel stupid (I didn't study French in highschool. I chose Latin ...and Japanese. I mean I'm trying to pick it up now...) and overweight

I'm in France which means I guess I get to be more on EuroSky, whatever that means.

To quote Center Stage, for no reason whatsoever, "being nice when you say something pricky is even prickier"

Heidi Klum: Today's fashion has created clothing for a wide variety of people, including sizes and genders and ethnicities, so for today's challenge, we've invited people who are sample sized but suffer from eczema #ProjectRunway

Do pregnant bats just fly around like that?

There are so many amazing parts to this but the one that sticks out to me is the idea of Jesus owning "Red bottomed shoes." Now, I know Louboutin makes shoes for men, but they aren't as iconic as the Louboutin red bottomed stiletto, and it's a toss up on the website for red bottom men's shoes.

Today I learned from @michaelhobbes.bsky.social and @notalawyer.bsky.social how to pronounce Ross Douthat's last name. I had been mentally saying it ... differently.

I'm at another "I don't think I'm the right type of gamer for Hollow Knight" point. Though, based on the issues I had with some of the mini quests in the Oracle Zelda games, I might just need a new controller.

One critique of Things that I don't get, and maybe some of this is I got into anime as a late teen/early adult, is the "oh, it's a cartoon so therefore it's marketed to kids."

If anyone needs me, I just found out about Australian time zones and I need to sit for a minute

I try to avoid being this twee these days but I'm putting up a pillow fort for anyone who can't get offline but needs a thread to talk about literally anything else.

S Club 7 followed by K Choice? My shuffle really wants me in my feelings tonight

If there's anyone else who understands this without looking up either term, I think it's time we log off and cancel our internet subscriptions.

Have you ever thought about how cool tumble dryers are?