My wife is a few years older than me, and Snuffleupagus is a dividing line between us: she remembers him as Big Bird's imaginary friend, I remember him as real and interacting with everyone.

We are the stupidest dystopia.

I don't use ChatGPT much at all, but when I do it's usually just to ask really absurd questions, like, "If Toni Morrison had taken over writing Hagar the Horrible, what would the strips have been like?" to see what it could possibly spit out. (The answers are generally pretty meh...of course)

Now reading.

Starting on Pluribus tonight.

Will I ever be represented in the House again? Fucking unclear.

1997. Also giving goth. Self-identify more as punk, though.

Now reading.

1. As a former New Yorker who actually, you know, gives a shit, I was filled with dread when Cuomo entered the race, and would've accepted a mediocre candidate as long as they beat him. 2. I'm delighted with Mamdani above and beyond that. 3. This is a freaking amazing photograph.

HOW THE FUCK did the entire Democratic establishment look at the election of NOTED NON-CENTRIST DONALD TRUMP, and conclude to it that the only way to win an election is to be a centrist!?

Sometimes, when I’m out on a walk in the evening, I take pictures.

I’m from the Bay Area, where we grow up living nothing more than performatively hating LA. But I’m long past that now, especially living out of the state. I will absolutely never stop hating the Dodgers with every fiber of my being, but LA itself, I’m here for. California: fuck yeah.

Okay, second silver lining, I guess: Drake is sad.

Also the Dodgers are officially the Yankees now, which means you have to hate them if you're not a Dodger fan. That's just the law. You have to.

Literally the only good thing about this.

Fuck the Dodgers forever and ever, amen.

So say we all, kid. So say we all.

Well, now that it's the postseason, the Giants can raise and then eventually dash my hopes, so that's cool.

Nothing to say but fuck.

As someone who doesn't watch sports but does love human suffering, I'm having a great night

I LOVE ALL VLADIMIRS GUERRERO!!!!!

Isaiah Kiner Falefa will be the ultimate World Series hero! I called it from the start!!!!

Wellllllll fuck.

C'MON KYLOMETERS STRAW!

George Springer just keeps getting beaten down.

Yamamoto throwing multiple innings tonight. Fucking wild shit.

Myles Straw will be the ultimate World Series history. I called it from the start!!!!

Gimenez, Springer, Straw. A murderers' row...right!?

I am going to strip your knighthood from you, Seranthony.

This also applies if you're a Giants fan. I am dead from a coronary.

I'm listening to the Jays radio broadcast but it's 1.5 pitches behind the Gameday app and I am checking that a shocking amount because the tension is absolutely destroying me.

But I'd much rather it go to 18 than the Dodgers to win it here fuuuuuuck.

This can't go to 18, Brad Paisley didn't sing the anthem.

This game was booked for professional wrestling, I swear to god.

If the World Series were to end on a replay review, fucking LOL.

Why are social media weirdos?

Fucking Blake Snell losing this for the fucking Dodgers would make me so fucking happy you have no idea.

BOBA SHET!

Fuck me again.

Vlad Guerrero Jr. is my favorite active non-Giants player. His dad is in my top 5 all-time favorite non-Giants players. Justify my love.

Vlad Jr., Bichette, and a guy hitting .480 in the World Series. That's about exactly who I'd want coming up...except for the part where I desperately wanted there to BE a bottom of the 9th.

I DID WANT THIS TO BE A GREAT WORLD SERIES. I WANTED THE DODGERS TO BE DESTROYED. I AM OUTRAGED.

What the fuck is baseball, even.

Well. Fuck me.

C'mon Jays! I can't handle: 1. It being fucking 2025 2. The Dodgers winning the World Series again 3. Against the team who've been my AL team since 1988 4. In crazy dramatic fashion BEAT LA MOTHERFUCKERS.

SO MUCH STRESS AHHHHHH.

I just showed my wife a photo of Blake Snell. Her comment: "Yeah, his face is wrong."

Blake Snell on a good day looks like he just woke up after 3 hours of sleep following a night of meth and brawling with cops.

When I was a kid, I liked Ernie more than Bert. As an adult, I've had to accept that I AM Bert. But I love anyone and anything named Ernie right now.