Looking forward to waking up to another declaration that the war is won and another extension for talks on a ceasefire.

Just had a final, full on turbo-wank before the end of the world* *he’s gonna chicken out and I will wank again

When Trump gives his orders later tonight…

Turns out that those folks who don’t vote because all politicians are the same may not necessarily have their finger on the pulse after all.

Looking forward to waking up to another declaration that the war is won and another extension for talks on a ceasefire.

I think it’s also worth pointing out - Kanye West’s music is absolutely fucking shit. If you’re paying hundreds of pounds to hear him goosehonking through the dung he shits out then I hope you don’t get a refund and also step on Lego.

‘Up next on this episode of ‘Hitler liked to paint’…’

It’s alright lads. Panic over.

‘Sorry about your planet. I have adhd. Anyway…this one’s called ‘Nah Nah Nah’…

and, yeah…I read it. IN RUSSIAN, BITCH #review

Marty Supreme: more to be admired than enjoyed. Like Dostoyevsky. #review

morning

‘Shut your fucking cave, you big gonk’

If you do a podcast you touch dogs.

‘…and if you’re going to get me an egg don’t get me a white chocolate egg. Who the fuck eats an entire white chocolate egg? I’ll tell you - people who touch dogs. Fucking white chocolate. Jesus fucking Christ. Offer me a button, ok. It’s just a little bit. But a whole fucking egg? Get fucked.’

Big Special (when they win the Mercury) I was also lucky enough to just miss Coldplay at the QMU Glasgow. They were first on the NME introducing bill & finished just as I walked in. Then I got to see Shack, Campag Velocet & Les Rhythm Digitales. A perfect night which could have gone badly wrong.

‘Actually, in medieval Europe, eggs were forbidden during the 40 days of Lent. They were saved and decorated, then eaten on Easter Sunday to celebrate the end of fasting. The chocolate egg is a natural modernisation of this practice. They’re not a representation of the side that blocked the tomb…’

Just watched Weapons. Enjoyed it. Oscar win is nonsense though. Thanks for listening.

‘no thanks…I’ll stay on me’own…’

RIP June Brown/Dot Cotton You are gone, But not forgotten

6 years ago…

Sam Rockwell Fruit & Nut Those nasal inhalers that clear your nose in seconds Big Special Raising Arizona Wagyu dumplings tossed on the floor Fire alarms in hotels The three pillars of business Acsperience San Sebastián Papers Please A Disaffection

Trump this afternoon…

I don’t really care about the big rocket.

The manager of DFS to one of his sales staff…

We’ll see what the Abronhill Young Team have to say about this shite…

If I meet this dog I am absolutely, categorically, feeding it.

FREE MONEY Put all you have on this record to win the Mercury Music Award. Most complete collection of music since Young Fathers’ Heavy Heavy.

Yorkshire Child : ‘dad was for t’dinner?’ Yorkshire Dad :