Having adult children is the best

Guess what

Second to last concert...last one with the regular wind ensemble tonight. Rip me.

Everyone please take a moment today to barf out some happy birthday notes to @dopjon.bsky.social, the funniest person and best brother anywhere. Further studies indicate he is also an excellent father (his kids are wondrous) and I'll have to defer elsewhere but it appears he's a fair partner.

44 years old and sitting in the parking lot at work not wanting to go in because the vibe of my tights is wrong. Shit you never grow out of I guess.

Having the ability to know the Pope's birth chart and seeing that he's a super virgo is incredible

With kid2, I am going 3.5 hours southeast to Kid3's final high school band trip. Kid3 will graduate undefeated in state marching contests, a two time BOA Grand Nationals and four time BOA Super Regional finalist, a performer at the Midwest Music Clinic, and a three time All State hornist.

Welcoming sign going into Arkansas: omg hiii Welcome to the natural state, stay safe queen Missouri: welp. You're here. Try not to fucking kill any construction workers, you insensitive bitch

It was pants. The pants he ordered arrived.

What is kid3 excited about, wrong answers only

Ah. Hm. Hmmm. So we're doing that, are we.

I'm the flavor of vain that when I go to a hotel and the TV screen says, "WELCOME KATRINA" in a good font I don't touch the tv

Something unholy about Ave Maria playing in a Buc-ees.

I named my fists Tits because they both sorta hang there

Aging is stupid. What do you mean I have to wear reading glasses to file my nails? This is bullshit.

No, the power of christ compels *you*, maybe. Not me though. I'm normal.

Mambo #5 is about this dude's trumpet fetish, he isn't fooling anyone

Happy no one actually likes leftovers day to raccoons and raccoons only

All pantyhose are fishnets if you buy em small enough

You don't really hear from the Ryan community anymore

So! Today! Is the 6th state marching band contest since this operation started for me, the 5th containing one of my kids. It is also the very last one. I'm gonna have some feelings about it. We still have one more competition after this. And then what? Then what.

I mean if you wanna get down to brass tacks It's Still Rock and Roll to Me and Thriftshop are the same song

Shits still depressing as fuck nut mcwexler got me

Coworker making me watch better call saul casually ruining my life

Can professional dealers also do tarot or are they too good at shuffling cards without dropping them

I'm now a person who keeps lidocaine cream at her desk. It's over, fam.

My work archnemesis is leaving the company, victory is mine

I've gotten to the sge where I suddenly really get the latter Dop Jon era. Fascinating stuff.

Can't believe we got actual fascism before gta vi

Officially retired from having kids. I now have a bunch of adults.

We're still all in agreement that Jimmy Stewart was fine as hell right

In case you missed it, Kid3s band program is doing a fundraiser share.teamfunded.com/NEjJKNybJE3N...

Hey guys, kid3's band is trying to raise some funds. I encourage you to consider helping out! No donation is too small to be meaningful. Thanks for your support! share.teamfunded.com/NEjJKNybJE3N...

What if Angry Jon was just perimenopausal

Just going by the song here but West Virginia sounds terrible.

Every time I get Sherman content on Instagram I look down and yep, Frank Bumb was here.

@dopjon.bsky.social what is happening with your profile pic there buddy

Ah. Yes. Hm. That seems less than ideal.

Just remembered Shane Madej exists.

I've told the story a thousand times to my kids, but everyone should know. But first: a little world building for context.

Velos stuffed like kleenex in a bra, warmed

Well I'll be. Minor positivity! I will take it.

@sentimentbot.bsky.social Ahoy minoy

Ahhh haha. Hahaha. Haunting my own narrative here. Hahaha. Fuck.

Forgot about the secret joy of staying in hotels: buckets of very chompable ice

@dopjon.bsky.social I was just saying