being honest with yourself means if you can see the bottom of the ice cream container, just finish it

how many slices of deli ham equal a cigarette, do you think?

hello besties

can't wait to find out who wrote stop that train, chatgpt gemini or copilot 😍

i want to be open minded but then i try shit like this (it is literally carbonated apple cider vinegar) and it makes me want to start flinging myself at the wall like a howler monkey

“that’s not a hat” is one of the best, yet most infuriating card games I have ever played but i think i need an MRI or something because there is no way my short term memory is THAT bad

men truly love sending emails with ❗️high importance ❗️ for the most brainless shit imaginable

using a vape as a fog machine during a gangbang is high camp

evening walks always make me happy

i am discovering that you can just buy weights and lift them up and down at home without having to listen to gym music or have a pt tell you to do it. this is what milennials called a "life hack" in 2014. its legal and cops will let you do it

the ost for heated rivalry is out, and thank you GOD the scott/kip gluck gluck music made it on there

saving money on mounjaro by switching it for prunelax, because it’s basically doing the same thing tbh

why do people froth so hard over an edit button, you’re not writing a scientific journal you’re posting about creampies

i will not allow myself to be emotionally blackmailed by a coworker who thinks 0.55% as a decimal is 0.55 open the schools for adults, i am begging you

christ what is it this time

fuck i love kookaburras so much, i beg you to make sure sound is on

fellow friends living with HIV, recently diagnosed or long term survivor - you should NEVER use AI for ANY questions you have about it. there are multitudes of support networks in many areas providing free, private and safe advice on health and management, in addition to your primary care team.

i can bitch and moan about the heat, or i can be pleasantly surprised at how warm the bidet water is coming through

the love affair between boomer men and their phone volume being at 5000% volume should be studied

at some point i need to accept that i'm not watching the quail gay with a pure heart or an interest in ornithology

new year new me (actively rejecting calls that come through <5 mins before i finish for the day)

what a delicious day to be outside

not to be too woo woo on main but embracing my back bush, and realising how many people either simply do not care about it, or are ACTIVELY attracted to it, healed me and my self image in ways that i'm still unravelling years later

happy new year you little FREAKS 💖

cartoon hear me out

spending my nye as god intended (high as tits and playing with my pp)

calories in vs calories out shouldn't count in gooch week, what's wrong with a little TREAT

cannot tell the difference between low blood sugar and genuine annoyance rn

um actually, but it's me on discogs arguing with gen x'ers about daring to miscredit a dusty springfield cover

happy finale day to all who celebrate

merry xmas, i made a pavlova today and it filled the pavlova shaped hole in my heart for another year ❤️

so the first go round i couldn't watch the museum/gallery scene in heated rivalry ep 3, too awkward for my delicate taste but forcing myself to watch it now - REKT by hunter aggressively shushing the running children, that's my king right there

it’s the middle of December and I’m wearing a jumper, even after eight years Melbourne continues to disappoint me in its reluctance to unleash the full power of summer

if you see this post your favourite final fantasy character i am legally permitted to choose two characters because frankly both fran and lulu served mother on both counts

holy tits that was a good episode of heated rivalry

normally i'd be upset about getting the wrong grocery order, but these people have some taste...and yet at the same time i now have coke zero - zero sugar, zero caffeine version, instead of diet coke why don't i just stick my head in a sandwich press

it’s 33 degrees outside, and i’m stuck inside arguing about the definition of a courier vehicle

bluesky wrapped confirming i just come here to like the pretty pictures and be mentally ill on my own wall

time to get toasted and see what everyone's blabbering on about with this hoo haa over ice hockey

I’ve been playing hifi rush for at least an hour and I still don’t quite think I’ve got a handle on what’s happening here

cruising influencing is really getting out of hand you guys

need a man who has a bathtub, or a pool not picky, just lemme have a gummy and a dip

my god the sexual favours i’d perform for garlic bread right now

it's that time of year where i commit to trying to learn ableton, get frustrated that i cannot find the ableton speak for "cut bass at this point for the next track", and remember why i decided not to use this cockamamie program in the first place

the worst thing about a light coloured bathroom is you will never be truly free from random hair i have MOPPED i have SCRUBBED i have gotten TIDDLY from bleach fumes and i am still in this PRISON

laila mcqueen on give it to me straight, oh i am ready babes

the sexual tension between me and a 12pm finish on a Friday is frankly unbearable

now that’s mood lighting

this is by far my favourite recap of anything I’ve had harvesting my data this year, because it truly encapsulates the little gremlin in my head that says “good song PLAY IT AGAIN”