He was a g8r boi, he said see ya later alligator

Idk who needs to hear this but chickens *can* get pregnant from anal

One of my favorite things to do is get silly in a group text with my wife’s family

The drain in Maine is mainly in the vein

All due respect to James Buffett I just don’t think anyone should be allowed to wear madras shorts on stage

Why does Elmo have a swastika on his shirt

Who is the only other guy besides Mike Love to appear on at least two Beach Boys records and wear a hat with his own name on it? If you guessed chicken pickin’ guitar legend James Burton, you’re absolutely right!

Drink coffee is easily my second favorite thing to do in bed after sex with my wife

When you scroll past one of those 8 part slideshow posts on Instagram and then it keeps showing up until you’ve seen the whole thing, that’s feed harassment

What’s up?

Hungover like a horse

Know what I mean, cookies and cream

The finest silks

Was just watching Tom goes to the mayor and my wife thought it was porn

If there’s a children’s book writer’s strike I will gladly scab if it means that no one has to read the word “exclaimed” again

I’m the totopopotamus, my chips are bottomless

Who the fuck does this guy think he is anyway

Sherbet is short for sherbert

Mike Love will take her apology now

Mike Love not GWAR

Two mutuals becoming shitposters

Two shitposters becoming mutuals

What’s something you can say during a Beach boys song and during sex?

John Stamos is the senior most member of The Beach Boys after Mike Love and Bruce Johnston!

A good woman’s luv, The beach, waves, meditation, and my best friend John stamos!

Who needs AI music when you have Mike Love music

“Love Spurts” -Richard of Nazareth

Peggy Alpaca

Body functions ranked: Shitting Farting Cumming Spitting Peeing Burping Sneezing

My grandfather gets so jealous of my father's "World's #1 Dad" mug. He tries to take it or destroy it. It is that hurtful jealousy which has lost him the crown.

New profile pic

Blue skeet