O Tenenbaum....

MTG and Elon both REALLY want to show their independence but also also still want love from daddy.

Now do 151.

"Hello Mr President. My name is Chris Hansen."

When the world wants hazmat-level whiskey, Heather Greene delivers… something gentler, smarter, and far more subversive.

First Bowdoin-American to become NYC mayor

Arsonist calls fire department. Hailed as a hero.

In the Maine woods I established a curated, artisanal bottle dump with my favorite empty craft liquor bottles. I invite everyone to come back in 150 years and marvel at what once was. Read and learn: thelongbar.substack.com/p/a-second-g...

Well if I ain't a snail's turd! It's an email from old uncle Foghorn Leghorn, and he's gone all cattywampus and set down my voter info somewhere and it's gone and walked off! No amount of shaking the overalls upside down and looking in the sock drawer will turn it up! Oh, wait, here it is: 🖕

Apple really needs to think about streamlining their emails if they don't want to end up in my spam folder: Apple Services [email protected]

All the advancements and achievements of Europe are wiped out by the practice of deplaning onto a bus.

It's happening. Everyone should prepare an escape plan.

Love coffee cocktails but hate laying awake at night? For the upcoming National Coffee Day, I offer you a three ingredient solution

“Talking with Patrick McGovern about liquor was like talking to an astronomer about the Big Bang.” A tribute to the man who saw ancient history in every sip.

I was twelve when Butch Cassidy came out and I saw it at least four times and then I got a cowboy hat and on my stingray bike with a friend I swooped out of the woods on the dirt road near our house when cars went by with the idea of holding up the passengers. Why am I not dead?

Un. Fucking. Believable.

Went to a science fair under the I-610 today.

Why it takes so long to compose a simple email.

I took this photo of @grahamformaine.bsky.social on the day I met him in 2023. He’s the smartest and fiercest and he’s going to vanquish Susan Collins finally. His oysters are terrific too. Anyway going to a meetup with him tonight at 6 at Lucky Jack’s on Orchard if you feel like meeting him

Feeling gaslit? Read this.

Find the bar! Sound easy? Have you met Tokyo?

For the love of Christ, just let them. I for one would welcome our iguana overlords.

Found: Lair of the Dark Lord of Dark Rum., in Tokyo

Brown‑Forman's "net sales in developed international markets dropped eight per cent" due to "geopolitical uncertainty". Sales fell 62% in Canada, 16% in the UK, & 10% in Germany. 🍷 #EconSky www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Bourbon or B**rbon? Canadians are aiming to give American whiskey a run for it's money. A blind tasting suggests that the gap might be closing.

Cocktails are fleeting. So are fog-filled bubbles. Both can still last in memory. At Houston’s Museum of Fine Arts, I found an art show that doubles as a metaphor for every perfect bar.

This is a perfectly natural way to shake hands. There shall be no further discussion of this matter.

A tradition like no other.

Hangovers are the last heroic quest: you wake up lost, led astray by a guide who told you the elixir was harmless, and so you set off in search of a potion that brings you home. Sometimes that potion comes with celery.

Do they award a Pulitzer for spam headline composition?

Spirits industry, we have to talk. You’re in an abusive relationship. It’s time to break it off.

Big, if true

EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY NORMAL

Six bars, six solutions. How New Orleans bartenders tackle the Ramos Gin Fizz problem

Murphy spent yesterday at a dog care center where they added ice cubes to cool the wading pool. A staffer reported that Murphy took out cubes and made a pile of them and growled at other dogs who came near. "He thinks they're a high value treat," she said. I have never been more proud.

Just one sip, then on to the next drink.

Whips aren't sharp. Tacks are sharp.

Orange flower water smells nothing like a flower and everything like somebody's grandmother's dressing room. So how did it make its way into the Ramos Gin Fizz?

I am meeting the people and I am doing the selfies because I am regular like them.

How do you do, fellow New York residents

Hey Steve! I agree. Fuck all the way off. Bye.

A century from now when the kids ask what was it like to live at the dawn of the millennium, this article should be required reading.

I suppose there are many facts that are not in the best interest of our country -- such as that it was built with slavery -- but Rosie O'Donnell is, in fact, not a fact.

The long and varied politics of drinking while standing

Training the robots to replace you seems limiting, long-term-strategy-wise.

Call me Rip Van Winkle. First-class postage stamps will soon be 78¢?

“The goal isn’t perfect drinks. It’s perfect drinks for *this* place.” General Manager Corey Starr on keeping a tiki institution alive without turning it into a museum.

National Weather Service to Public: MARGARITAS WILL KILL YOU. Why are the weather people yelling at us, and is there any science behind not drinking liquor during a heat wave? thelongbar.substack.com/p/what-cockt...

Then: "E Pluribus Unum" Now: “I’d be careful what you read in books, except for the Bible.” - Pete Hegseth