Amazingly I have 20 minutes in hand before I have to set off for Christmas Venue #1, so naturally I'm worried about what I've forgotten to do.

Greetings to all my friends and acquaintances here on bluesky. Have a great time doing whatever you choose to do today. Or if you're struggling to cope for whatever reason, I hope you can hold it together today and that things improve soon. Merry Christmas! 🎄🎅

Breaking: Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor to state he never writes his own emails as he has someone to do that for him so he has no idea who 'A' in Balmoral could be.

🎶 Deck the halls with boughs of holly ¦ Smile and just pretend you're jolly 🎶

A Merry Christmas Bin Day to those who celebrate.

Oh no! That Christmas dilemma! A neighbour who I hardly know and rarely see to speak to has just slipped a Christmas card through my letterbox. I'd decided not to give him a card this year. What do it do?

I've just received a card from a friend overseas with one of those Christmas letters. It's just wonderful to know that everyone in the whole family is amazingly successful / getting top school results / has a fantastic and very socially responsible job / is great at sports / studying for a PhD.

Any Cov folk able to advise me on cycling from the station to UHCW? And would I be daft to leave a Brompton locked up outside while I visit someone?

Well done, Oxford!

@gwenfar.bsky.social Just followed you when you popped up in my timeline and I recognised the name from my Oxford days 🙂

I wanted to know if this was A Thing in school here in the UK so I asked my 10yo granddaughter. She said it was. So I asked what version they sung at her school. She shuffled, embarrassed, and said "it has bits about ladies' body parts".

Merry Christmas Ya filthy animals 🎄🐾 🎅🏻Christmas-hours🎅🏻 🎄Were closed Christmas Day Boxing Day and New Years Day 🥃 Were closing early about 2ish on Christmas Eve and New Years Eve 🎉🍾 Our Annual Sale Starts today ➡️ thekeswickbootco.co.uk/clearance Do pop in and say HI 🧡

Can someone turn the rain off please?

If your cost-benefit model tells you it isn't worth investing in a tram or light rail system for an urban area with a population of well over 1m, like Leeds-Bradford, your model is wrong and should be thrown in the bin.

To those who wished me well for my laser eye surgery, I'm happy to report it all went well today. It only takes a few minutes, no anaesthetic and no pain or other sensation, just looking at bright lights while the operator zaps away. Visual floaters as expected should clear. Sharp vision restored 🙂

That sigh of relief when a package with a Christmas present arrives, followed by the cry of anguish when you open it and find they've sent the wrong stuff.

Waiting for the 'patriotic' flagshaggers to pile in saying the Union Flag is the wrong way up. (It isn't.)

As she tied the ribbons on her bonnet it never occurred to Martha to wonder why her step-mother had put the mirror over the fireplace.

Now showing: Red One. Those are NOT reindeer. Reindeer antlers are not like moose or elk antlers. No discussion.

Well played, villagers of Hampton Poyle #Putin

Half-hearted attempt at festive cheer by IKEA. I'm expecting a delivery: the tracking app has a little sleigh showing where the driver is, but it's IKEA Corporate Blue not Santa Red. #FestiveFail

As promised earlier, here are some more Hockneys.

I'll post more Hockneys later. This set of portraits is from 2024 & 2025.

Then an excellent production of Othello at Theatre Royal Haymarket. David Harewood (Othello), Toby Jones (Iago), directed by Tom Morris. Vinette Robinson's Emilia also excellent. Standing ovation from the audience at curtain call!

Spending 24 hours in London. Went to see a Hockney exhibition yesterday afternoon - well worth a visit. Some old familiars and some very new. A great set of portraits from the last 2 years, and some latest iPad work. At www.annelyjudafineart.co.uk/exhibitions/...

The whole Father Christmas / reindeer / chimney / presents thing is weird, but Icelandic Christmas is a whole new level of weirdness. And this is only the start!

Ooh! Look what just arrived. I must remember to tell @hutchinsondave.bsky.social

No American I've ever known has used an iron*, let alone a steam iron. But then I've never known a tradwife. *apart possibly in the workshop to glue large flat surfaces.

With Storm Bram coming through overnight it'll be Binmageddon down my way. On the council's six week cycle, tonight every house will have three bins and a food waste caddy out on the street.

A last one from me. Louis MacNeice "Apple Blossom", stanza 4. "But the first verdict seemed the worst verdict When Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden, Yet when the bitter gates clanged to The sky beyond was just as blue."

I wonder, by my troth, what thee and I ¦ Did till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?

"Japonica glistens like coral in all the neighbouring gardens ¦ And today we have Naming of Parts"

The details of the #WorldCup2026 draw are in fact one of those logic puzzles you have to solve to get a job in GCHQ or become an astronaut. What it boils down to is that after the first four teams have been drawn the rest is inevitable. BBC News - World Cup draw 2026: www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

"What's that you say, Skippy? Rogan josh curry on a jacket potato? Well done, Skippy! That might just be the breakthrough we need!"

Given how many people have come to view the culture in the police, I can't help wondering how this story would have played out if the roles had been reversed. BBC News - 'Twerking' police officer sacked for groping colleagues at party www.bbc.com/news/article...

“Your collection is due today, your driver is .. 874 .. stops away.”

Don’t forget to repost, please loves. Sharing my art means a wider audience for illustration work.

England win the toss and elect to lose #TheCricket

Here's an idea. Pain au chocolat but with THREE strips of chocolate not two.

If I was the solicitor of anyone in prison (I'm not), I'd be advising them to apply for accidental release.

Bluesky hivemind! Your ideas please for a Christmas present for a Gen Z male cishet relative, high earning & high-performing ADHD diagnosed with a predilection of buying stuff on impulse online and so has everything. Target cost <£35.

Yay! Look what the postman just brought! 😀 @annacycles.bsky.social

From my archives. Stoppard with Diana Rigg and John Thaw.

Introduce yourself with five pedal cycles you've owned. Viking Severn Valley (red, stolen) Dawes Stratos (white, yellow, black, retired and donated to charity) Marin Muirwoods (silver, blue, now a shopping bike) Colnago AC-R (white, red trim) Specialized Diverge (ice blue)

Farewell to the brilliant Tom Stoppard, who constantly reminded us of the sheer joy to be found in language and in life. He always seemed to relish his art, which is part of what makes it wonderful.

I assume the Party With No Name Party launch conference room in Liverpool is now empty as everyone's walked out in their own personal protest about something. Is the empty room being streamed live?

"You missed a bit"

When my cunning plan for world domination comes good the next things I'm going to do after seizing the assets of all billionaires is to decree that baked bean tins should be stackable LIKE EVERY OTHER F*KING TIN and to ban those EXTREMELY ANNOYING little plastic labels on individual pieces of fruit.

Every medical professional should read this! It's quite long but worth it - right to the end.

No, I definitely didn't forget I'd already opened that pack of blueberries from the supermarket. And even if I did I certainly didn't spill a large number of blueberries around the inside of the fridge.