I like this person's brain. Millions of Americans yelling "More halftime shows and pausas de hidratacion, it's all we want" while they bravely stand atop history and say no. Why make up a guy to get mad at when you can make up 300 million?

🇪🇦🇪🇦🇪🇦🇪🇦🇪🇦

Tired: The World Cup final is too American (gaudy, expensive.) Wired: The World Cup final is too Canadian (a goalie standing on his head allows a worse team to stay in it, Justin Bieber involved.)

*BlueSky voice* Actually "normal time" ended in November 2016, but OK.

Dad, why did they make that one Muppet out of leather? That's not a Muppet, that's Ronaldo.

How I'm rolling this afternoon

England is so Minnesota coded, a Minnesotan supporting England football could be genuinely driven insane caring about sports. If it weren't for women's sports, it would be BLEAK.

At least we're about to get the most pointless but potentially important England/France conflict since the Siege of Boulogne

Caught an afternoon power company truck moving through the yard, such majestic creatures

That's nothing, this is what the sky looks like in Cleveland right now

There have been two moments in recorded history of English football fans being cool and they're both here. youtube.com/shorts/AsIv8...

That fucking sucks for Switzerland, undeserved. But also, why would you dive like that when you are already on a yellow card?

Watching both Ready Or Not movies on Disney+ and fulfilling Walt's vision.

E 1999 Eternal was one of the first CD's I had, it's so nuts to think about it going like 8x platinum with two singles. Crossroads was obviously huge, but if you didn't know, you would never guess how huge it was.

Norway it is then

A lot of the countries I go to for when the US get bounced did even worse but fuck it, let's go Colombia 🇨🇴

I don't even hate this England team, but VIVA MEXICO

Job's not open today, but I'm pulling a 12 hour shift anyway because real patriots know the American spirit is to never stop grinding.

OMG CAPE VERDE ARE YOU SERIOUS

No, it's the app where you learn that your team traded for LaMelo Ball and people post pictures of wild mushrooms.

Someone in a Max Fun hat got box seats at a World Cup knockout match, I am going to assume it's the doing of Vancouver's weird former fitness mayor.

The Pope has decided that instead of competing against each other, Portugal will play Brazil while Spain plays Mexico.

Holy shit Croatia!

Naz Reid gets traded and the sirens are done? These are two of the top five things Minnesotans talk about on here, if Jacob Frey quits we're screwed!

Does Raptors ownership include any very real and legitimate maple tree planting start ups?

30 For 30: Remember That Year When It Looked Like The Grizzlies Were Next?

Glove save and a beauty!

Absolutely gorgeous goal for Canada, they're going to fucking do it

This is Eric Adams getting revenge on the nation that didn't reward him with higher office.

Fuck ICE. Naz Reid. Forever.

Uhhhhhhhhh

Czechia and Mexico shouldn't fight, link up and form Czexico.

With all of the teams he interviewed with over the years, THIS is the job he takes?

It won't be Giannis, but maybe Kyrie?

Congratulations to new Texas Tech QB Keir Starmer.

Filled with an inescapable dread that in the next two years, right wing weirdos are going to start saying "Bout it bout it and rowdy rowdy." I have no evidence of this, but it feels inevitable.

I'm going to have this song in my head now (worth it.)

The guy from the live action Cats movie?

They should put the new Wolves and Lynx arena over by the Minnesota Antifa Headquarters, there's nothing else over by that part of town anymore.

Anthony Edwards and Karl-Anthony Towns FaceTiming during the championship celebration is healing 🥹🥹🥹

Reminder to NYC, if the Knicks win, that guy who wrote the "KAT is soft and talks like a gay" article from two years ago can't come to the parade.

We live in a world where Andrew Wiggins and Karl-Anthony Towns are NBA Champions and Jimmy Butler isn’t. 😀

Just so, so happy for KAT.

Now people can appreciate Charles Smith for the underrated player he was.

Griselda mixtape condiments. Hitler Uses Heinz 5 Tartar (Sauce) Talk 3 (Mustard) Machine, Bitch

Writing a movie that takes place in 2022 where Joseph Gordon Levitt's dad tells him "Will Desus and Mero get back together? At this rate, I'd say when the Knicks win the championship."

Julio Enciso, the only player that reminds me of Bajillion Dollar Properties