what they said: hey handsome can you take me off your close friends list? what I heard: This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. Do NOT TRUST HER. She is a fugly slut!

not to be marginally upper middle class but the banana republic sweatpant is a top tier sweatpant

Omg?

Having one of those feral wfh days where it’s like impossible to focus 😩

Only here because those shoulders should match them hips, but they don't. 🙂‍↔️

gn bloomfie

This is why I stopped posting dick pics :(

IKTR!!!!

First day headed back to the office this year and someone is smoking on the CTA 😍

Oooo the competition is really heating up!

WELCOME AQUARIUS SEASON! ALL POWER TO THE PEOPLE! ABOLISH ICE! FREE PALESTINE! IT’S ALL OF US OR NONE OF US! ALL THESE HORRORS ARE INTERCONNECTED! ALL THESE FASCISTS ARE BOUND TO LOOSE! UNIONIZE! ORGANIZE! PROTEST! STRIKE! BOYCOTT! WALK OUT! LIFE IS SHORT! TAKE CARE! ONLY WE WILL SAVE US!

Oh my god!!!!

Venmo @daresaypj to show your appreciation and DM to book your next session. 😌

Never wanna hear Nicki in a gay bar ever again 😩

Seasonal depression? Idk her 😌

bears blew it, oral bttm tea

Playing sugar we’re going down after the bears just turned it over on fourth down was DIABOLICAL 😭😭😭

Some times you’re just so horny that you want to go over to a guys place, pound him out, drop a load then go.

Sometimes you have to lock in and go for a long mental health walk no matter how cold it is. 😩🙂‍↕️

How’s your headshot? Never had any complaints. 😏

A lot of bloomfs need this shirt

Samoas are THE Girl Scout cookie and it’s not even close

All three dogs at @emilioemm.com right now are Geminis

good morning 🥰

Anyone who has said women are too emotional to be president needs to watch Michael Rapaport play traitors

Had a dream last night I was scrolling through photos on my phone and my boss walked up and saw a dick pic 😩

Locking back in tmrw gn

Bullied @dgrmsp.bsky.social into making me a playlist and it worked!!! It’s 🔥

Kudos to the traitors s4 casting team for making the last minute decision to not include Johnny Bananas

For my birthday this year, I would love if you donated to the Uncut Latino Federation's Foreskin Scholarship Fund to help young uncut Latinos across the country obtain access to local bathhouses 💕

Coming back to snow in Chicago

Happy birthday to a sister that’s always locked in. A real one since day one 🙂‍↕️🫶🏼

Bye Philly. I loved many of your brothers and will be back 🙂‍↕️

Why do uber/lyft drivers insist on stopping in the middle of the street to pick up or drop people off. Pull tf over 😭

Recession indicator

gn babes 😚

Icon. Legend. MOTHER. Tabitha fcking Brown!!!!

Not the east coast slowly makin me a Dunkin girlie

Today drained me 🥱

Plz get me back to Chicago asap where I know every single fast food restaurant within 15 miles of my home that consistently and reliably has Dr Pepper

This straight man walking towards me just spit on the sidewalk and I audibly said “hot” and he did NOT like that

The three most feral places on earth are airports, hotels and conferences

Attending this session about how to get locked in

Posted a selfie on Twitter for the first time in over a year and oh my god the bots?? How do y’all keep using that app 😭

Hannah Einbinder you will always be famous

Headed to Philly. Who’s gonna let me cheese their steak

Do NOT stay here if you are me. One of the hosts does not like having guests if they are me.

And with that the 2026 Bloomfie world tour comes to a close. No more trips bye

And I’m here to PISS on the competition. 🖤💛🤍

Walking back to @notya.lc place in the rain after getting f*cked four times