Made a thing

Going on one of those strange addiction shows (my addiction is buying battle passes)

Sometimes I die in a video game and "Switching to your secondary is always faster than reloading" plays in my head like a loading screen tip

I'm the white Xi Jinping

In retrospect it's kind of insane the Smash Bros Brawl theme was an opera in Latin

An underrated highlight of cons is seeing the salespeople's faces light up when you ask if they take cash. Those mfers do not want to pay their taxes

Cons are crazy cause I had a situation where on my right were career comic book artists who's names probably hold a lot of weight to the right people and on my left was someone trying to sell me art of Cloud Final Fantasy in homosexual situations

I can't believe I have to listen to my boss, a man I am almost assuredly better at video games than

I miss Temu so bad

ODing on alpha male vitality pills

I'm still down like $5k from where I was before tarrifs I hate this fuckass president

Doing one of those YouTube videos where I eat fries from every fast food restaurant in the country but all I do is moan while I eat them and offer not constructive feedback or rating

Every day I log on and call ChatGPT a pussy so that when the robots finally take over they'll blow my shit off animal style

Statistically I have spent 2% of my time on this Earth playing Splatoon. An average of 1 out of 50 hours of my life.

The government accidentally added me to a group chat where they said you like boys haha

It's crazy they named that place Autism Texas

I wish Splatoon was good

If they could get the Rizzler to do military propaganda, Canada would be ours by nightfall

Blew a red light and whispered to myself "I'm ulting"

FaZe up

Going back in time and performing my own circumcision

I ask ChatGPT to explain philosophical concepts to me as if it was a Gen Z teen so that I can understand them better

America did so good at convincing everyone that ruling the world was something we did out of the kindness of our hearts that Republicans want to tear it down because they hate kindness

Finally tried to get ChatGPT to do my job and it did it wrong so basically it's fully ready to replace me

Explaining Ozempic to one of those guys who think Persona 5 invented jazz music: So imagine if the phantom thieves only targeted fat people

They call me the human ChatGPT the way I make shit up and can't follow simple instructions

The F in RFK Jr also stands for Fortnite

I don't know if I'll ever mentally accept $70 games because video games literally defined my mental image of $60. I see something else that's $60 and I'm like yeah that's 1 video game. Now I'm supposed to pay more than a video game for a video game? Insanity

What if, instead of children, they were really into the YouTuber Fred and we called them Fredifiles

Voting for whoever sends me less spam texts

Designing a gun with an AI camera that'll only fire when it detects a Funko Pop

If I could go back in time I'd buy a bunch of Bitcoin and stream Fortnite on Twitch in 2017

Trappin out the bando

fortnit

hamburger,,,

I used to operate the espresso machine at a breakfast place and sometimes people would come in and order weird shit Starbucks made up and we'd have to be like dude that's not real you've been gaslit

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Evangelion

Updated my handle

Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

Super Mario....