I’m in my “no” era 😤 @naughtyney.bsky.social

5am pretzel bites. Allowable under airport rules.

Momma is teaching Rex how to drive 😌

Mood music.apple.com/us/album/sur...

Camera roll editing magic can makes thighs look red and spanked fyi 👀 Eraser tool is your friend, kids

Little time with Lex: what’s in YOUR pockets? I’ve got: a popsicle stick button from my pants some Cheerios (crushed) broken piece of crayon

Cinnamon roll for dinner yay thanks momma! @naughtyney.bsky.social

It’s achingly clear the goal of the Republican Party is to keep the American public sick and stupid and pregnant and poor.

Anyone else ever get the urge to bite these delicious looking pink erasers? ✏️

mood www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRkE...

If I am a digital simulation could my programmer make me better at golf

Mood:

Unpopular opinion; you only need to drink water when you are thirsty

a Blowpop is a great answer to a stressful day, tbh

@naughtyney.bsky.social it’s not too late to unground me for one night so I can see the clown movie

What do you mean I can’t go see Clown in a Cornfield when I’m grounded

Sam Alexander, will you leave Lex alone? It is not nice to make fun of other people’s misfortune. How would you like it if I grounded you from Twitter or blue sky for a month and someone made fun of you?

I know Mother’s Day is hard for many reasons, but I wish each of you a Happy Mother’s Day. If you don’t have your Mother/Mom, Mommy, Mum with you for any reason today, please accept this cuddle and kiss on your forehead from me. You are loved. 😘

If @oliviaasks.bsky.social was a dog:

Cool that we got the first ever American Pope but he didn’t need to end his first public address with “play ball!” 🤦‍♀️ ✝️

I am dead. Grounded a month. Leave your condolences below. 😭

Our go-to spanko GIF has gone mainstream fam

Having a bad day will someone tell those birds to stfu with the joyful chirping sounds of life

Will always be kinda grateful for COVID, it made me quit smoking.

First birdie of my golf life. 9 iron shot on a par 3. 🧑‍🍳 💋

70mm film strip giveaway at SINNERS (IMAX) screening tonight!

I'm so well behaved I ASKED for lines. Some of y'all need to get right. 📝

Any spankos here ever given a hot seat? Or heard of one? Where you sit bare bum on the dryer after a spanking?

I have a genuine friendship with @oliviaasks.bsky.social and don’t wanna yuck anyone else’s yum but I will never understand her obsession with Megan Markle cooking tips 🤷‍♀️ @mmkts.bsky.social

When you’re made to take time out of your day to read and then TYPE BACK the myriad very specific party consent rules and then go to party and THE HOST violates their own rules lol

A new law proposes you must have bachelors degree to own podcasting equipment

Genuinely will never forget or forgive anyone who voted for this situation we are in. A third term he wants. YOU did that. Fuck you from the depths of my heart.

Dusted off ye olde poke mat. It’s ready for recycling now ♻️

Lotta kismet on this page 🍑

Happy Opening Day to everyone but @oliviaasks.bsky.social

identity theft should be re-branded as time theft

Someone come and fold all this bullshit n make my bed cuz I ain’t doing it. 😤

I have a new problem. Aula F99, Royal Kludge M65

Don’t trust anyone under 35. The kids are all narcs.

Fun fact; 800% of bras made on planet earth do not fit me

I love that none of my friends are on TikTok. I can steal all the most common top comments of any video and pass it off as my own original thought

why are boomers so obsessed with today’s lack of thank you notes but not the exponentially increasing wealth gap

Baseball is as much about the game's blissful anticipation as it is about the final score. The new film “Eephus” captures that magic beautifully, writes David Sims:

Eight bucks.

I’m almost positive I just saw Noel Gallagher…at Universal Studios Citywalk. Surely that’s his idea of hell. Is it possible?

how is it possible to be the only unattractive person in an entire family

I missed the window on this hat. 😔 nypost.com/2025/03/11/s...

My personal flag is made up of the colors and logo of a box of Prilosec