Starting Supernatural over from where I always start it, I just feel like this is where it really kicks off

Kinda fucked up that oh, you can bomb tf out of Syria and Iran, but we draw the line at Greenland

Are my friends here because they’re certainly not on “X”

Once a guy came over because he wanted to have sex but I made him watch There Will Be Blood with me instead

When I crave a beer, sparkling water really hits the spot

Just heard Careless Whisper by George Fucking Michaels coming out of my 11 year old’s room, I’m dying

We were bombing so much shit in the Seventies. Where have all the eco terrorists gone

Doing things

I’m celebrating July fourth the way the forefathers intended, with IPAs and fresh pineapple

Me telepathically to my son: try sleeping with this anime cranked to 27

45 45 minutes to go I drank too much coffee Need to shit I wanna stay home I drank too much coffee

[bruce wayne speeding around in the batmobile] (roxanne voice) baaaatman, you don't have to stop at the red lights

Matthew Vaughn should never be allowed to make another movie

Just saw the biggest dick I’ve ever seen in my life in a GC

Chillin with my buddy

Don’t airdrop me idk what that is

I showed my son the Rock Your Body video and he said JT was a terrible beatboxer so I told him Santa isn’t real

My kid said her favorite song is Threw It On The Ground

Grape juice is lit

My son’s hyper niche interest

Top 12

Christmas electricity Christmas e-lec-tric-ity

Everyone should have a shot of gin before they cook. For confidence

My shirt came

They cut off my legs now I’m an amputee god damn you - Tusk

Watched Conclave on my phone with no subtitles AMA

Drip

Pigeon maxxing

Books that I bought and have yet to read: Inherent Vice Perfect Blue The first three Dune books Oil! Anna Karenina

Blossom, commander and the leader,

You’ll never catch me alive, suckers

Rumple Busyskin

I accidentally drank a half open beer that I thought was fresh but it was like a month old and I thought I was going to die

Farting demurely

Twitter is a hellhole, true but I feel like I have no friends over here and it depresses me so I guess I’ll stay over there for the time being

This is why I stick to movies I’ve seen

Take out the papers and the trash

My kid pretending to be a Ninja Turtle

What if I made you a caramel banana milkshake?

Say nice sweater, Graham

Price check on prune juice, Bob

Potato potahto Tomato tomahto

These salt and pepper shakers would fix me