Heavy rain alert for central Vic which of course Vic Emergency posted at The Bad Place because apparently only the Nazi-adjacent deserve to know about severe weather. www.bom.gov.au/warning/seve...

Soon to be the most urinated on building in Australia. www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

Insane story. Do not go the US for any reason, not tourism, not work, anything.

YASSSS FOOS MELBOURNE

I mean as someone affected by this change it's annoying, sure, but unless I'm missing something some of these accounts seem overly dramatic? www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

When you're so bad even Matt Canavan thinks you're a jerk.

FUCK YEAH FOOS BACK IN AUS whaddya know Dave wasn't lying when he said they'd be back before his next birthday.

Next up: Hannan bemoans that electricity robbed us of the right to sit in the dark. Jesus these people are some of the stupidest on the planet.

Picking what I thought would be the quickest cue option in the supermarket then finding the guy with what I thought was a full basket just had a single 12-pack of water bottles meanwhile the young couple I chose to stand behind don't have a shopping basket, they have a TARDIS.

My bathroom scales just sent a message to my phone saying it's time to weigh myself. Joke's on you scales, I am 100km away from you right now. (I don't believe it's necessarily emotionally healthy to weigh yourself every morning anyway - 2x a week is quite sufficient)

God this is awful. And all the consulate does is apologise? The guy lost his dad! www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

Shock revelations that cops might be racist www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

90 minute train journey to work, let the shitposting begin.

Counterpoint to Rubio: guilt and shame are both good things to be shackled by if you have done things you should be guilty about and ashamed of. Do you know who isn’t shackled by guilt and shame? A psychopath.

Australian Reddit in one reply:

Bloody hell it's humid. Even my hair is sweating.

I've been putting off renewing my British passport because the old expired one has 'European Union' on it, but with the new UK passport rules for dual citizens (I have to travel on my British passport if visiting the UK) it's finally time. Anyone know if you get your old one back?

Just saw a post talking about sending Trump et al 'to the Hague' and oh my sweet summer child I have some things to tell you about the US and the ICC, i.e. that the US hasn't ratified the Rome statute and refuses to co-operate - yes, even the Dems haven't. Trump ain't going to the Hague.

Yes I know big business evil corporations you should buy from small sellers bla bla bla but damn I'm going to miss sitting in Spotlight (or online) browsing pattern catalogues. I've pretty much got everything I want but will go in this arvo. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

I asked ChatGPT to come up with some satirical headlines in the style of Adrian Chiles (who writes for the Graun and is not-so-incidentally the spouse of the editor Kath Viner) and honestly if someone's job should be taken by AI it's his. Some examples in the thread.

Regular readers of my ramblings who recall that I had the Cagney and Lacey theme tune stuck in my head a few weeks ago will be pleased to learn that I now have the theme tune from LA Law stuck in my head. www.youtube.com/watch?v=DouX...

Fantastic. Great move. Well done, Angus.

FUCK. I had a feeling it was coming, but it's still bloody upsetting. What a huge loss and far, far too young. RIP Jon. I'll be holding folks accountable for their C2s and B1s in his memory.

Sure, let Trump get his face carved on Mt Rushmore. It will quickly become a scientific experiment of "how many streams of urine does it take to destroy a rock sculpture?"

Just finished Fallout S2 and you know a show's getting popular when it gets the celebrity cameos. Knew about Macaulay Culkin in advance but was surprised to see Ron Perlman, Natasha Henstridge and Clancy Brown.

A furniture company I'm on the mailing list of sent me an email advertising a new range of furniture that looks lovely to people who don't own cats. One of them looks almost exactly like a cat scratcher this would not end well (and costs $100).

There needs to be a site where you can check on a celeb's current cancelled status. It should be searchable and categorised by alleged crime. Links to reliable evidence should also be given.

Amazon laying off 16k while bribing Trump with a shitty documentary that no-one will watch is certainly a look.

Australia being a crushing disappointment yet again by refusing to sign a statement condemning Israel's destruction of the UNRWA HQ in East Jerusalem.

When people ask "so when are you moving back to QLD?" the answer is "never, because I simply can't afford it". www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

Willing to bet there was stiff competition at the Graun to be the critic who got to review this film. www.theguardian.com/film/2026/ja...

Some positive news - and as EVs and home battery takeup increases and we move to a distributed grid, it will only get better. Electricity is going to be stupidly cheap. www.theguardian.com/environment/...

Okay 2026, so you took Catherine O'Hara. Dick move, honestly. To make up for this, you've got to get Trump too.

Your daily reminder that Scott Morrison is a raging thundercunt. www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

Ballarat weather station currently reporting 41.3 degrees, so it'll be a degree or so hotter than that where I am (because it always is). (For those who don't know, Ballarat is on a bit of a hill and is notoriously colder than its surrounds)

I don't get the theory of 'kill some so the others learn the lesson', does anyone think dingoes go 'better not attack this vulnerable human, I saw Dennis get his brains blown out by a high-powered rifle the other day'? www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

Love* those CAPTCHAS with the images that say 'select all pictures with A BUS' and they're all about 15 pixels high and I'm like "hello friend, this could be a bus, it could be a truck, hell it could be a fucking bungalow for all I can tell after squinting at the screen extensively" *I don't.

New colour tomorrow, folks. Stay safe.

Having done repeated tests, i feel I am now ready to share my version of Felicity Cloake's perfect malt loaf recipe. The original, for reference, is here: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Ted Cruz going with the slogan "I'm slightly less awful" for 2028.

(having slept all day since coming back from Tassie) well, Foo Fighters were brilliant. Would go again without hesitation. Tassie is also nice (or Launceston is), if only it wasn't so fucking cold in winter.

🛬 MEL

🛫 LST

Oh, here we go. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

🛬 LST

🛫 MEL

I love that despite the New York Times becoming a mouthpiece for Trump and MAGA, Trump still shits all over it every time he posts. You'd think they'd have learned by now, but nope.

Wait I was at work did I miss another Trump death misinformation rally?

Every day when I wake up and go to check the news, there's a little lurch of dread in my stomach.