I’ve done a good part of the Games issue. Might actually finish it this year (minus the math-based games).

My wife keeps her phone volume at 10 and screen brightness all the way down. I keep my volume at 1, or off, and my screen brightness all the way up. Our vision and hearing is pretty much identical. This is very strange to me.

Ugh I hear water dripping in the walls.

The secret third option is fungus.

Dave Portnoy, but for reviewing pizzas.

So far none of the Trump/Mamdani takes have been right. Something happened, we don’t know what.

I don’t think Kentucky gets enough credit.

Sports

I had an idea for a poem and then forgot it .

If you put asterisks around some text in instagram, *comme ça*, it renders it in bold. It’s supposed to be *italics* you fucking dipshits.

Here’s my nicknames for the women that work at my grocery store: Krissy The smart one Barb The funny one Geeta The competent/grouchy one Maria The pretty one Stacy The blonde one Bianca The rich one Ann The dull one

Santigold filmed the video for Can’t Get Enough of Myself on my block. So when she says “Look at my neighbors I'm the best thing around” she’s talking about ME!

Nerdy teen explaining D&D to a younger sibling, right behind me on the street: “You make your characters and the DM invents a scenario… its like (something) but it’s in your imagination… you can do literally anything your character is capable of.”

I heard that new restaurant has a special on Bofa.

I think Trump meant *vocal chord* polyps. Stop getting all excited about stupid shit.

Weird that the 8am call from Grand Rapids did not leave a voicemail.

☐ yes I have to let it linger ☐ no I don’t have to let it linger

Oh I didn’t know Paul Meyers was Mike Meyers’ brother.

In 1984 “three nights” was my favorite black flag song.

Jack Black issuing a statement saying that Patton Oswalt and Sarah Kendzior are no longer a part of Tenacious D

Leftovers pizza night. 1. Clam and arugula 2. Various meats and various cheeses, including bleu d’auvergne and goat.

I log on to Twitter once a month to let Urp know I still love him.

Stephen Nessen, doing the weather on WNYC rn: “It’s 49 degrees, but it feels a *lot* colder, like 46.”

How do I throw the mouse case people off a cliff too?

Dreamed Marc Maron asked me to watch his store for an afternoon. All sorts of unforeseen problems arose. Some Dominicans wanted to use a “local informal currency” to pay. I wasn’t sure. They had five 100 unit bills, which were actually doormats that said “Esta tienda vende productos Dominicanos.”

My doctor gave me sleeping pills, he told me to take them whenever I wake up. I feel this is disrespectful to me.

If it tastes like a pelt Or an old leather belt That’s Umami!

Somehow the fact that he called his memoir “unfettered” is more annoying than anything else.

Not sure this new WNYC news person who just pronounced the Intrepid Museum “IN-tra-ped” is actually from New York.

Reminiscing with a friend about Dominican and Cuban restaurants on the UWS that we used to go to.

More than one thing in my kitchen rn smells like bad farts.

*loss aversion Jeff Foxworthy voice* if your working mattress is on top of your non-working mattress…

Sunday pizzas.

I don’t think people say “conniption” enough these days.

Heard in street: (Extreme vocal fry) I loooove tiki bars.

Can someone explain this Rao’s place to me?

I can tell this Voodoo Lady solo is Deaner.

I have a Soul Coughing song in my head, but I am trying to rid myself of it, because that dude is a fat-headed right-wing boob.

After we get rid of Schumer and Jeffries, I propose we go after New York Magazine next.

Joe Kearnen just admitted to being Antifa, on air. They’re starting to fall in line. #mamdani

What’s the over/under on Alex Karp trying to have Michael Burry killed?

Dershowitz come through

Big FUCK YOU CUOMO chant going on right now. #crownheights #mamdani #nycmayor

RIP Bill Ackman.

Big cheer going up somewhere outside.

Getting gummies ads for some reason lately. They all seem based on helping you “relax” and “get sleep” and “mellow out.” If you have trouble with those things, maybe it’s just your conscience bothering you, and you need to address the wrongdoings of your past, not just load up on THC.

Had a diner breakfast this morning. I ordered badly. Dry-ass omelette and grits that were probably malt-o-meal.

White’s Tripes