One of my biggest flights of fancy is that we should just push Christmas back to Jan 25. There's no need to crowd out Thanksgiving and there's still sooo much winter to slog through after the big holidays are over. Let's leave lights and decorations up for another month!!

It's that time of year

I know it's passé to express distaste at certain words ("moist" most of all) but few things make me curl my lip quite like a recipe calling for a "slick of oil"

Every time I stretch I'm like wow this rules I should really do this more often. And then I proceed to do nothing with that knowledge

My grocery store had a perpetual sale on seltzer ($5.99/12 pack) which they just abruptly ended, bringing the price to $8.49/12 pack

I have an embarrassing update regarding my most played songs for November

“Man that kettle has a LOT of sexual hangups, why can’t he just relax and let himself have a good time?” -me, the pot, watching Heated Rivalry

Nm just getting ready to see Wicked II w my fam haha hbu

Received this bedside table welcome gift from my very loving parents who support but don’t entirely understand my lifestyle

Next time I go to buy seltzer can someone pls remind me I don't care for tangerine

Actually used my CVS coupons for once and saved $12 on a bunch of shit I didn't need 😎

He self-identified as “trad” unprompted and clarified that didn’t mean “conservative” so I asked if he is in fact conservative and he responded his politics are “complicated”

Locals actually pronounce it “Worcester”

Tamales are sooooo under-appreciated. Like yes they're appreciated a lot but still not enough

Con Ed loves to send me a "weekly energy report" and it's always like "DID YOU KNOW: you used a lot more energy during the times when you were home"

Sure it's a kitchen table issue but it seems more trouble than it's worth to make something as nebulous and manipulable as "the cost of a Thanksgiving dinner" an economic indicator in the first place

Told a man I can't really swing a dinner date tonight on such short notice and now he's pulling the "but do you know how hard it is to get a reservation there on a Friday night?" move

Finally ended things with my year+ long situationship. Tangentially related, I just found out Nicole Kidman herself debunked the myth that those pics were immediately following her divorce from Tom Cruise. Regardless!

I'm simply so worldly and cosmopolitan my CVS prescription reminders are in Spanish (I changed the language by accident and am too lazy to undo it)

My local grocery store just announced they're now selling loose cooked sausages by the each at the deli counter

I love the ubiquity of myths about hubris and comeuppance. "No one likes a show-off" is human nature

Last night he asked “so you work for Google, right?” which is a really fascinating shot in the dark

Had a random clerical error refilling a prescription and the diva I called at my doctor's office was NOT happy about it

Experiencing a sudden and anomalous urge to listen to Sufjan Stevens................. that can't be good

Guys love finding out my brother is also gay and then immediately using that as the basis for really uncomfortable flirting

It rules that Beyoncé reverently coos "Grace Jones" in the background of MOVE, she's like "right??? I can't believe it either"

Apparently my tiny neighborhood gay bar sets up a weekly “dark room” where they just put up a curtain and unscrew some lightbulbs, I love gay people so much

"Our AI is a simulacrum of your dead loves ones" is grotesque but has an understandable appeal. "Our AI is a chat bot who praises your video game wins" is... pathetic to the point of being repulsive, no?

My friend briefly dated an outrageously sweet guy whose idea of a "prank" was painstakingly refilling his roommate's tube of toothpaste every few days. "He's going to be so confused when it never runs out 😂😂😂"

Found poetry on the Wikipedia page for button mushrooms

Scylla and the Sirens on streaming when??

Guy on the train was reading a hardcover of Amy Coney Barrett's book. Others can really be fundamentally unknowable huh

Working from my favorite Albanian café in the neighborhood

(Didn't Pelosi announce she wasn't seeking reelection a few days ago?? Was that just an "according to insiders" thing and now she's confirmed it?)

Just remembered my late 2000s high school physics teacher who was on a hopeless crusade to correct the era's rampant misuse of the word random ("you mean arbitrary!")

Okayyy I don't want to read too much into it but Zohran viewed my GOTV Instagram story.............

He’s so real for this

Pronouncing someone's name right is just basic respect regardless but Mamdani is 3 phonetic syllables! You almost have to try to get it wrong! All these racists contorting themselves to pretend it's so foreign and unknowable

On principle I will not like an airplane bathroom thirst trap. I have had to wait to pee too many times to condone gay guys stripping down to their britches in there. We live in a society goddamnit

One of my classes meets on Monday nights so I told work I couldn't attend a meeting later due to a "class conflict"

Hi Benjamin, we had a chance to review your profile and it looks like you could be interested in shit from a butt

Think I'm gonna make matcha overnight oats

What name do you think we deem the most "normal" in both humans and dogs? My money is probably on Charlie or maybe Luna

Not that we need to do a taxonomy of misogyny but "cheater who takes his mistress to Bergdorf's" strikes me as a fairly different flavor from "4chan stan"

Living in NYC is wild bc how am I getting asked for help with a power drill. How could I possibly be someone’s masc-est friend

Some of the stuff on the Lily Allen album really hits a little too close to home (I've gotten stuck on the F train)

Stores should rly carry a couple cold 6-packs of Diet Coke for sober people to take to parties

Visual migraine and randomly can't feel my toes 🤪 my body feels like a TV playing static

Another reason we should keep daylight saving year-round is that it feels so ascetic and self-disciplined to wake up before sunrise even though it’s only like… 6:30

Started befriending a classmate but then she mentioned she appreciated how this week's class wasn't so "political" (last week we discussed the cuts to USAID)