Wouldn't you folks prefer to be lied to by a handsome moose such as myself? I'll even tell you that your book idea is really good!

I wonder if Batman has a flap on his suit for ball itch. Imagine you're running across rooftops and all of a sudden your coin purse has an episode. Is this man stripping half naked on top of an apartment building at 3AM to give his family jewels the ol pinch and roll?

Just a little reminder in case anyone has forgotten 😘

The tastiest of juices always come with a warning label. Life is unfair...

Me when someone at WORK approaches me and asks me to do something related to my JOB while I'm busy zoning out staring at the open field across the parking lot wondering if there's enough room for CTHULHU to take a nice nap.

⚠️SPICY WARNING!⚠️ Actual footage of me bathing 😜😈

When the interdimensional horror destroying the town and I make accidental eye contact

Around 3AM I woke up to loud chanting outside of my window (in Latin?). I looked to the foot of my bed and see my dog slowly rising to the ceiling in a cloud of shadows. I couldn't get a good picture because all the lights and electronics in the house were freaking out but it was so adorable ❤️

@devonagainst.bsky.social is possibly my favorite modern artist. Go listen. youtu.be/00_7tc6-e54

IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT A MEME Look at this badass moth I had the pleasure of meeting a couple of weeks ago. Dapper as Dan

It's Monday which means the fun times have ended and we must all make our weekly sacrifices to Neahwaem the Corruptor, Bringer of Devastation

Good thing everyone likes me... Right?

When someone tells not to eat the delicious free silica gel that came with my brand new Sketchers Shape Up 2.0s

Welcome to Moose Monday Photographer unknown The photo is of the European moose

Me omw to tell your dad that he looks pretty today

Sometimes, late at night, my dog will whisper Dark Secrets into my ear as I cry. It's pretty neat 🙂

Hi