How rich should someone be before they decorate their home with a picture of money?

I wouldn’t call a cow without legs ground beef. It’s not happening

Getting an exorcism for constipation

getting a gavel to use in normal conversation. To be respected more

Jemma gave Eminem an enema, Emma

@372pages.bsky.social Maybe unfair when taken out of context, or maybe it’s just the truth

Would it be ethical to raise three boys from birth with the sole aim of making them the ultimate stooges?

Heathcliff is at the level of humor that comics in the New Yorker aspire to

That guy was mad that his talking dog was a liar, but if the dog had been sleeping he would have let him

Children shouldn’t speak German. It isn’t right

If Frankenstein’s monster laughed his head off… imagine that

Today I’m 30 days fart sober. It really is 1 day at a time. I’m in pain

Joe Burrow? More like Toe Broken.

It’s interesting how fingering is done with the fingers but towing is done with the truck

Work easy, play easy

What did the man say to the electrician who was up all night falling off the utility pole?

The democrats move as decisively as Sir Nathaniel and Richard Salton when faced with the white worm, am I right?

The one thing I don’t like about cats is how they obviously have poop and pee on their feet from walking in the litter box

I wouldn’t like being killed in a war

I can fart any time or not I can poop when I have the thought I can skip the poop as it suits And I can pee, you see, when it pleases me I control the fart, the pee, and the poops

Got confused and started talking to my dog about art. But he has bad taste

I’m going to figure out how to make electricity from one of those big pendulums they have at museums that swing due to the rotation of the earth. That will solve a lot of problems

It’s interesting how to Americans a jet ski is something you use in the water, but to Russians it’s just a normal jet

How do people start eating an apple and get surprised by a worm in there? Wouldn’t there be a hole? Thinking about this because I started eating an apple and got scared

I don’t know if Trump and Harris are presidential candidates or fish, as much as they talk about de bait

Imagine if you were one of those people who tracks conspiracies by putting up photos and linking them with yarn, and then your cat gets in the room and starts playing with the yarn! That would be something

It was easy to be a famous physicist back when they were discovering nuclear weapons. People made such a big deal out of every little thing

Poop on a person, and you’re “weird.” Poop on a plant, and it’s fertilized. Make it make sense

How about this as a joke? “I’m a marathon walker. When I see a marathon I walk away.”

If I’m on a team of people and they all volunteer to be the one who does the suicide mission, and I’m the only one left who hasn’t volunteered, I don’t think I should feel obligated. There are already too many volunteers

I’m glad I’m not the first House speaker to be removed from my job. I just had a normal day today instead.