Got a tea towel with preston bus station on it for Christmas so now my living room has decor

when I refer to my genitals as my "junk" it's because my ideal bottom surgery will give me a fully functional ship with a central rudder, overhanging flat transom, watertight bulkheads, and a flat bottom design

Doing breathing training but vaguely concerned that beefing up my diaphragm like this could mean my next bout of hiccups has the power to kill someone

Kinda surreal being sat in a travelodge in Birmingham on grindr and discovering at least 3 other people in *the same travelodge* also on grindr

Wait has grindr paywalled filtering for trans people? Like the only thing that made the app barely usable?

I think one of my biggest red flags is that I keep telling people they should switch to linux while not actually switching to linux myself

public footpath perfect place for niCe walk at night. nO probleMs evEr on public footpath beCause good path and fun waLk. go down public fOotpath yeS. public footpath a good place for friEndly walk at night alone. fRiend public footpath.

Shout out to this Northern train for playing an instrumental Jingle Bells on loop, pausing only to announce stations Idk if the driver and conductor are just super into Christmas tunes or if this is a battle of wills between them

The first rule of wrapping presents is to have fun and be yourself The second rule of wrapping presents is that wrapping paper can sense fear

Work had to change the way they do phishing tests so they now send you a "Yay! You spotted it!" email after you report the test email. Previously you'd get nothing, so people would go "hey I think this is a phishing test" and then click the link to check whether they were right or not 🫠

Wait, fuck, he's little alex horn coded.

So I was curious and looked into ethical investment funds and a lot of them specifically exclude "adult content" and also put a lot of money into Microsoft, which isn't great. Then I read that "ethical" and "sustainable" funds are different, so I looked at some sustainable funds and uh

Went for shiny rather than fluffy but still had a great time at Fur the Record, furries truly know how to party

Had to explain the concept of a "danger yawn" to my housemate, so for the benefit of everyone else, it's when you yawn and it feels really good so you relax into it and then your jaw subluxes and you spend the next week unable to chew without pain 🥱

What is the end game of the mattress company I bought my mattress off like a year ago continuing to send me ads and sales? Nobody needs a new mattress every few months!! And if the mattress wore out that quickly I wouldn't buy another one from you!!

through the first few weeks of December Nina is trying to raise money specifically to go to providing her community with a Christmas celebration. As the saying goes, bread and roses. I know it's an expensive time of year, but if you can donate anything, it will spread a lot of holiday joy <3

Had to carry my noble steed home last night due to injury and now I'm tryna figure out if there's any reasonable prospect of recovery

Very convenient how I don't need a bell on my scooter because the rattling it makes is alarmingly loud and causes pedestrians to turn around to see what kind of clattering horror approaches

So I have a first date on Friday, which is great, and a themed murder mystery party on Saturday, which is also great. Unfortunately my murder mystery character has a goatee, so I'm gonna have to forwarn my date like "I swear I don't usually have a goatee, I'm just doing this for the bit"

For a long while I'd been thinking of moving on to nebido when I eventually saw the gic, but now the appointment is in the diary I'm realising I definitely want to stay on sustanon. Like sure I gotta do it every 4 weeks instead of 12, but I'm the one in control

Phones should have a "I'm waiting on an important phonecall" mode you can turn on and it'll turn the ringtone and vibrate to max and also give you a powerful electric shock once a second while it's ringing

Last year it was light therapy, the year before it was vitamin D supplements, but this year I'm going to cure my seasonal depression with the power of zelda twilight princess

Oh yeah the slutty Umbreon outfit arrived lmao, got my fit sorted for the furry rave

People ask me how my calves are so strong and look so good and the answer is very simple: you just gotta have tendons and ligaments that don't work properly, mixed with stabilising muscles that don't activate, and complete the look by having your calves constantly do twice the work they're meant to

Okay so homemade sauerkraut is infinitely cheaper than probiotic supplements but, like with probiotic supplements, the only difference I can be sure it's making is wow my guts are having an interesting time

Okay so you hate shaving and you decide to get laser so you don't have to deal with shaving anymore but then they tell you you gotta shave super well every time you have a laser session?? Messed up??

Okay completely possible this is a coincidence, but since at least semi regularly incorporating a 10 minute meditation into my bedtime routine, my digestive/IBS symptoms have calmed down a fair amount? The other benefits are too nebulous and vague to pin down but it's nice my bowels have chilled out

Find a pigeon, Pick it up, All day long, You'll have good luck

Okay fine I give in, I've ordered the slutty umbreon costume

Umbreon dyspraxia arc????????

Yessss I finally fuckin changed the hideous mustard yellow curtains in my bedroom out for some lovely emerald green ones 🙌 they slide so smoothly and (most importantly) aren't mustard yellow

I think Midna makes up a solid 30% of my sexuality and 20% of my gender

We're so fucking back

Asked my housemate's friend why they were putting a spoon full of msg in their tea and they asked me why the fuck the msg was in a sugar jar next to the kettle. which is a fair question.

Nina currently has medical debt she is trying to pay off, having received treatment for being sick. We haven't had any donations for a while. If there's anyone you could share this with, please do 💜

Tryna add more whimsy to my life but I keep getting joint pain instead

Holy shit I've actually got a sandyford gic appointment. It's in March but like, it's in the calendar

Okay I think the dream of zelda twilight princess coming to the switch may be dead so I've finally ordered an rca hdmi adapter and we're gonna see if I can get the £1 wii to be anything resembling functional

Being an adult is so exciting. I've bought 3 different sink plugs over the past two days to try and replace my current one, which slowly drains the sink while I'm doing washing up. Every single one of them has worse performance than the original.

For someone who basically doesn't drink I sure do get a lot of hangovers

I'm glad the first time I'm actually seeing the dodgy bullshit in my kitchen is when the kitchen fitter is showing me what he's just taken out Like he'll be like "uh, this is interesting" and half the time it's cupboards held up with bits of string and half the time it's:

Not a morning person, also not a late night person, unfortunately the kind of person I am is "tired"

Is Hedwig and the Angry Inch a transmasculine story in the same way that The Wasp Factory is a transfeminine story?

The gods cursed me with ears capable of hearing the faintest whisper and a brain that wants to enact violence when exposed to certain sounds that no one else seems to be able to hear

I am irresistibly drawn to that which I know will hurt me [This post is about my insatiable lust for chickpeas despite the knowledge that they *will* give me a tummy upset]

I think they should perhaps just take each of my toenails off completely

I'm trying to post less and be online less these days but the advantage of social media is that I can maybe reach ppl! I'm fundraising for my friend Nina, a trans refugee in South Sudan, if you're able to spare some change chuffed.org/project/1537...

Accidentally left two blank frames up in my living room for over a year because I just couldn't coordinate putting anything in them. Decided to commit to the bit and moved the one actual art piece in there to a different room, and added 5 additional blank frames

Okay I finally booked a blood test so I can actually start taking the Drugs-That-Might-Give-You Liver-Failure to solve the Inconvenient-Foot-Issue

This is all I took from my second viewing of Kontroll