coming to bluesky in solicitation of more birthday wishes. thank you for your time

Some podcast host asking Twins catcher Ryan Jeffers about Trevor Bauer and he fucking cooked I fear. "Did you tell your son what he's accused of?" 👑

paying a visit to the sky to say happy valentine’s day

guy next to us at the knicks game is doing this about the Nova Knicks lore

juan soto :) met :)

he’s so good at this

heard about snackwraps coming back in 2025 this recession is about to be SWEEEEET

thinking about juan soto denting the green monster for 81 days every summer until the sun explodes

why are people inviting me to blackout wednesday. i am twenty nine years old. i am drinking a martini on the couch and watching National Treasure

Tua Tagovailoa today: 29/40 317 Yards 4-0 TD/INT 9-0 against the Patriots

i cannot stop laughing at how terribly reductive that original post is

A Real Pain was beautiful and i am so ☹️☹️☹️☹️

the sixers are an absolute disaster so allow me to say: hahahaahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahhahahahahaaaaaa

how does a gold glove winner finish sixth in any serious contest lmao

this team

making a chicken pot pie for the first time since i almost cut my finger off making one last year

holy SHIT hahahahhah the twist in Conclave is truly and completely unpredictable

well that ended swiftly

Conan O’Brien hosting the Oscars. it’s morning in america.

obsessed with this british girl on tiktok who just accidentally started a feudal war in her ant farm

This is largely how I feel thinking about Juan Soto right now

getting my hopes up for no reason >>>>

i’m doing so much nothing at work today you wouldn’t believe it

might actually have to start using this thing huh

i look forward to joining my first group dm on here when they roll that feature out in 6-8 months

for sale, invite codes never used

>open bluesky >post ass >close app for 2 months >repeat

EVERYONES MAKING ME REALLY ANGRY TODAY SO IM USING THIS SKEET TO SCREAM ABOUT IT AAAAAHHHHHHGHSHSHDHGGHHGGHHHHHHJHGGHSH

babe wake up framber valdez is pissing down his leg

got to meet someone who means so very much to me today and it rocked

everyone on earth is getting married today

everyone keeps texting me in a panic to ask if i’m safe from all the flooding in nyc so i’m just responding dramatically about how wet my socks are

they should make a SAW movie where the main character has to poop while on their period

one thing about the dog park is there’s always gonna be a pug that’s fighting for it’s life to breathe regularly there

i need the romcom so badly you don’t even understand

happy 1 million users day to bluesky i’m sorry for continuing to forget to open this app

9/11 is all about picking one of your buddies in the group chat to pick on all day by saying they “did it”

⚠️ reminder that this user is adorable and has great tits

i have something very cringe to say: making fun of ben verlander for being sad that shohei is hurt is bozo shit

Your Downstairs Neighbor’s Polycule And It’s Consequences

every day is a fight between me and not getting a breakfast burrito and every day i lose that fight

man it’s a good thing i’m wifed up because i have ZERO rizz

every day is just

just saw someone kill a spotted lantern fly and then point at its smushed carcass and say “try THAT in a small town” and i can’t stop laughing

good morning sluts and slut respecters

i’m sorry but i am NEVER leaving the other place

i’m more excited about leaving work early to make a large batch of chicken cutlets than i have been about anything all week

i might be a sucker for this but one of my biggest pet peeves is people acting like athletes aren’t human beings

i hope paul ruebens died doing what he loved (watching porn)