Driving towards a couple that annouced their divorce three days ago happy holidays

Similar energy to people proposing to Cherry Wine by Hozier ❤️ LISTEN TO THE SONGS MY GOD

"Stranger Things season 5 will have the most violent death yet" me wearing black for every episode because we all know it's gonna be my fave because it always is

When you knowingly marry a pdf file and then spend two weeks crashing out on Facebook about it because you got called out (he's innocent! even though he was convicted and did time) and keep spam posting about how you're a victim of bullying and people are trying to ruin your life and business (when

He doesn't knoe how close he got to having limoncello la croix spilled on him ❤️

I wasn't planning on getting anything from the Nana collab because I, like the characters, can't afford that shit lol but wow what a messy drop. The anime version of the coffee bear???

Don't worry man it's my first day allowed back post flu I'll totally rerack 190 lbs for your lazy ass ❤️

I see my nemesis is up to more nonsense, love that, hope she loses dramatically.

Shout out to my only male coworker who's like 50 and told his wife I think he's hitting on me so she confronted me at 8am. I've spoken to him like 4 times ever.

Finally some good fucking food

Genuinely concerned by how many people have apparently never seen a fucking ballot before my god

Loki is insisting on sitting on me even though I've been coughing for three days straight and he is clearly so annoyed that I keep waking him... sir you can sit somewhere else?

Me thinking we time traveled next weekend and living pure confusion for the first hour of the day

I'm seeing the movie this weekend but I've read it all so whatever - absolutely bonechilling and hilarious to see "out of touch, out of time" has breached containment to the point that it's being used in official marketing

Thinking about that guy that was a regular at my friend's job and he asked her out and she said no and then he never came in again and it turns out he moved out of state l m a o

This provider is going to key my car and honestly I just asked them such a stupid question simply because policy demands I have their answer to it, which I already know, in writing, so I get it.

Visiting someone with four kids

Hey stop adding more AI features that I can't turn off every time you force me to update my phone thanks

Me twenty minutes into my speech about the relationship between religious trauma and addiction and vampiric lore in Midnight Mass: My husband who mentioned it was October and we should start watching spooky things:

Girl dinner girl math 35 year old woman fake tripping is a cute little thing I'm just a girl SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP stop it you're adults my god

Can't belive inflation hit Bob's Burgers, I hate it here

What if I buy the conjuring house? I do have a Rhode Island real estate hook up lmao

Hey someone I've absolutely hated for about 15 years just showed our entire friends group that I was right and I can't even feel vindicated because of how absolutely awful what she did was but feeling like a great judge of character right now so lol?

Gym is doing a whole Final Destination vibe I see

If I were a medical chemist I would simply make an iron pill that doesn't taste like literal vomit

Vin Diesel's power continues to fascinate me

A 50 year old man has been bullying me for two days straight because I don't think he's special and I should be allowed to fist fight one provider a month I think

Hey Harney & Sons what the fuck did you do to hot cinnamon sunset

On the way into the grocery store a man followed me for a bit making loud sexual moans at me. On the way out one of my empty bags blew away and a man chased it and brought it back to me and told me to have a good day.

One thing about me is I love chaotic action movies. That said I'm rewatching all the (number) (the) fast (and) (the) furious (number) movies and the funniest part of this series is Dom's pull over law enforcement. His absolute magnetism for making cops go dirty. Like obviously Brian is the main

Bluetooth speakers are cool and all but I'm still chasing the high of a metal 1/3 pan

I've seen hiatuses you can't even comprehend (I love two chronically ill manga writers)

When I'm jailed everyone will know why

C: and Kurt Russell was in it... wait... Not Kurt Russell? M: Russell Crowe R: Katy Perry's ex? M: that's Russell Brand I'm here to organize your Russells for you I guess

Once again I am telling the thruway authority to count their fucking days

Naur

Disassociating with a banana

Idk man Leo definitely had a demon in him last night, I'm more tired now than I was when I went to bed. Here's Loki who's also fucking done with him this morning.

The Wegmans app gaslighting me about the plural of perogi

Love when doctors describe things to you like you are also a doctor. I have moderately thick corneas? Thank you?

Friends what does dry heat feel like? Like I've been to Las Vegas so I felt it once but... forever spending my summers inside a dishwasher. Is dry heat nice?

Always available to baby sit your kittens

Me 🤝 one of the last posts I made in the other place 🤝 the new Superman movie

Oh no bisexual coded Lois Lane

If I survive the next 6 days I get to go on vacation for the first time in a year and a half 🥲

A power move that is off the charts.

I'm not your supervisor, I'm not even on your team, I've told you I don't know the answer to your question, I've told you where to find the answer, stop messaging me!!!!! I'm in the middle of something!!!!!

Sure our winters are some of the worst in the country but at least our summers are so humid you feel like you're trapped in a bowl of soup

Hey! The episode of Criminal Minds where they mention my local serial predator!