Why is there a major incident every time I'm on call. 2.30am today 🫠

Me holding up my blowers reviews

Mentioned the Beckham drama at work earlier and my colleague didn't know what I was talking about. WHAT!?

Starting the week butt first 🥇

Just saw a profile on an app and they had a photo with a VIRGIN TRAINS antimacassar behind him. GIRL.

Starting the week butt first 🥇

I'm sorry but if you defect as an MP to a party whose manifesto you were not elected on, it should force an immediate by-election. If they then get elected in their new colours then fine but it really isn't democracy the way it currently works.

I'm sure when Scruff was launched it was more for the bears or am I misremembering? I just glanced at their Instagram page and not a bear to be seen 😭

Nothing worse than being the first one to the pub and everyone else is running late 🫠

LOVE sports 🤼‍♂️

My orange baby is 6 today 🎉🎂

I've become low-key obsessed with researching the logistics of my Japan trip and tbh I wish my brain would give me a break. How much do I need to research Yamato transport FFS 😭😭

Achilles has had it.

I just had an aneurysm at this headline

I need to have the hands of a man on my waist 😮‍💨

Achilles has had it.

Sweaty back season already?! 🥵

PROTECT JADE AT ALL COSTS. They just hate her because she's always serving face. #TheTraitors

Actually really gone off Matt in the last few episodes. Giving cunt vibes. #TheTraitors

Also can no one else see Stephen's body language at the table? Is it only the cameras that can see it??? #TheTraitors

WHY IS JADE NEVER ALLOWED TO DEFEND HERSELF FUCK THEM #TheTraitors

GET HER JADE #TheTraitors

Anyone else like looking at their future flights on flight radar? Just checking how BA7 is doing today xoxo

Anyone got any e-sim reccs for Japan?

Sweaty back season already?! 🥵

Laura K: people are sick of the virus of the right Laura K: sitting and interviewing Jenrick whilst saying that

Back to back meetings until my Botox appointment 😭😭

Tbf I was like who is Adam??? #TheTraitors

Despite appealing the label, that photo of my leg is still labelled "self harm" 🫠

Jenrick has just proven he's a self absorbed lying chancer and the media seem to be completely missing that point and eating this up?

Me: omg a scruff notification. I hope it's some hot guy who wants to plough my holes. Scruff: you have a lot of moments waiting.

No one was harmed in the making of this photo.

Do they really have to stay up till midnight every night? I'd not cope. #TheTraitors

AN FBI AGENT!? #TheTraitors

Why is tonight's traitors ep not on iPlayer yet. I was out earlier 😮‍💨😮‍💨

No hump today but have a leg 🦵🏻🪢

No internet in the office for the last hour 🫠🫠

Omg it's really WARM this morning. I am SWEATING.

Sometimes the Tories can be right.

Went to the gym but the demons still persist 😮‍💨

Awake but at what cost?

When I say we're making out this is what I mean

It's absolutely ABSURD that politicians are happy to publicly back X whilst it allows CSAM. We have reached a point in our politics where men are not only happy to look past paedophilia/child abuse/VAWG, but to actively support it. I don't think I've ever been more appalled.

When you can still smell his pits on your beard

Good morning, hi.

The man who is going to raw me to death later just popped up on my hinge. Maybe it's a sign 😅

That fountain pen looks so scratchy #TheTraitors

The amateur dramatics from Stephen are not going to help him #TheTraitors

WHAT #TheTraitors

A GHOST HUNTER!? #TheTraitors