That MasterChef decision??? Absolutely not.

My edibles came and idk they feel a bit too mellow? I like a little edge.

When he asks what I'm looking for

Leather for #humpday

I love it when people are trying to be smart/undermine you with "we are dealing with the CEO office" like yeah babe I wrote the reply they sent you 😭😭

Leather for #humpday

Sat on a call and could smell acrid smoke. Went outside to see where it was coming from 😱 CW: fire

Went round to see a friend and it was so nice to not be able to constantly hear their neighbours? My life would be so much better if I didn't have to live with all this chaos 😭

Unsure why I'm making porridge so late

Did gym

A child just walked past me talking on the phone and he said "you're getting schoolmogged" 😭😭😭

“inside you there are two wolves” it’s these two

I'm on call this weekend and of the SIX calls I've had, only one of them was actually a proper call that needed any assistance from me. I just had a call "to make you aware" and like I didn't need to be made aware. I know they're only phone calls but they really throw my anxiety around 🫠

This photo is two years old and omg I've aged so much 😭

Like can I ask my phone to find the best recent photos of me for my dating profiles? Is AI able to do that or is it just for bears to make cartoons?

If Trump doesn't need us (which I agree he shouldn't be using us) then he can get his warplanes the fuck off our bases 🤷🏻‍♂️

The way every single person in my scruff match stack today was a bottom 😭

It really is thong season 🐣

The problem with being in recovery is that I really liked the TASTE of certain alcohol drinks that even the widening range of AF drinks just can't hit 🫠 Like I wanna try that stout because it looks and sounds delicious 😭

Catching up on drag race

It really is thong season 🐣

Trading standards need to investigate the use of "ripe and ready"

Had a wonderful evening hanging out with @philfyalt.bsky.social #shibari #kinbaku #ropebondage

Need to get leaner maybe people will like me more then 🫠

Found this cute number in the drawer 😎

Caught in the act

Found this cute number in the drawer 😎

Bsky down on #fcf? Uh oh.

Another £200 for them to test his pee and they still think Achilles is stressed 🫠

Achilles kneads his bed, gets AROUSED and then sits next to me LICKING HIS DICK 😭

Toot toot 👏🏻

Not me and my recon neighbour wearing the same outfit 😭

Toot toot 👏🏻

Me: omg I love the internet so much because I get to see all these hot people 🥹 Also me seconds later: omg I hate the internet so much as I see all these hot people 😭

This week's Silent Witness really annoyed me because they kept just going to and from Birmingham multiple times and like it's a 90ish minute drive each way!!!

Also I've had a charge on my card from a hire car company that I used six weeks ago. Did I get caught speeding? I phoned them and they didn't have a record of the charge!?

Vet: so next steps would be lab testing a urine sample and potentially an ultrasound... Me: right and how much are we looking at for those? Vet: about £200 for the urine test and around £500 for the ultrasound Me: *gulp*

Like it must be horrible being stranded in another country but jfc if I have to listen/watch/read another dickhead on the news from Dubai I'm going to scream.

#humpday comes around so fast.

Oh no. When the thirst follow PT messages you 😭

Need to take a pee sample to the vets and I was like "I have the kit so I'll do that ASAP" Achilles goes to use the litter tray and ends up missing and pissing up the wall 🫠🫠🫠🫠

#humpday comes around so fast.

Also how does Chris Mason still have a job? They managed to replace Laura with someone even more inept?

I'm not really sure that "he's not Winston Churchill" is actually a criticism??? lol

Oh great. The next "regime change" will be so he can drill the north sea because he likes to steal oil.

To think I smiled at this man TWICE

Omg remember Uber pool!? What a time.

Girls I've lost my libido. Is this middle age!? What if it doesn't come back? How am I meant to be a dumb hole 😭

The US have just stood there and said "if you threaten us we will kill you". Whilst the US continues to threaten people around the globe. Those words from Hesgeth should send chills down the spines of normal folk.

The birds are birding this morning and the sun is shining. Work is cancelled.