The sun came out 🥹

I did the crash axis thing the last time it did the rounds and I'm sure I was firmly in crazy so I don't need to do it again

New DLR train! New DLR train! New DLR train! New DLR train!

Can't even take slutty photos in peace ✌🏻

Not impressed with having to REVERSE down single track roads multiple times already on this trip 😭😭

No smoking or vaping x

Carlos in a football kit is making wanna do things I didn't know I wanted to do 🥵

Pre-holiday pump ⛽

No cocks, just ass.

No cocks, just ass.

4 years out from an election and legacy media running with stories about Ref*rm winning the election if it was today. But hey, no election, so let's focus on TODAY and things that actually matter to people across the country. media and the political class treat this as a fucking self indulgent game

There's a queue for the leg press. Does no one have a job!? 😭😭

I'm running the Red Run for @positiveeast.bsky.social again this year and would love if you were able to donate even the smallest amount. Also, come along and see me in some tight shorts 😏 www.justgiving.com/page/philip-...

Feel like I need to go back to a CORDED vacuum.

TK + futomomo with @philfyalt.bsky.social

Having a stressful week? I completely recommend getting tied up for a couple of hours to clear the mind 🥵

Are you happy that it's Wednesday? #humpday

Are you happy that it's Wednesday? #humpday

Me looking at the weather forecast for Mallorca next week

If this is "no biceps" then I have minus biceps 😞

Dentists love a little x-ray don't they

good morning fall

Are these mites?? What do I do???

Just got railed to death ✌🏻

How long after a filling should you wait to suck dick?

Got sent a video instruction of how to get to the villa next week and it's like "turn down this street". The "street":

Anyone who has been to Hiroshima, where did you stay? None of the hotels are giving.

I'm in a foul mood as I overslept this morning meaning I haven't had time to get to the gym (plans for the rest of the day). More fuel for the dysmorphia 🫠

"dad I wanna be in the shot"

Oh they done La Voix dirty

Got some pixel buds and then I'm not confident they're gonna stay in my ears??

Who's coming to make out?

I'm running the Red Run for @positiveeast.bsky.social again this year and would love if you were able to donate even the smallest amount. Also, come along and see me in some tight shorts 😏 www.justgiving.com/page/philip-...

Sorry but take that are so embarrassing now

Does my butt look big?

Why has scruff introduced stories 😭😭

Does my butt look big?

I'd love to be a "royal expert" as they literally get to say any old shit they want and get paid for it.

I get this quite often 💀

Me: need to not spend so much this month Also me: loses a filling

Heyyyyyy #humpday

There are too many smells on this train and I'm about to have a breakdown

Heyyyyyy #humpday

My AD: can you do a presentation for the manager's day on what we did for carnival? Me: *centres self on a photo slide*

I need Aaron to absolutely ruin me #gbbo

Omg I'm so tired that even the idea of getting ready for bed seems too much. Why is getting ready for bed such a chore in itself?

I dunno? Maybe this one?

People are sending me emails

I have new poems OUT on iamb! 🥳 After a long hiatus, you can read me again 🫣 - if you’re that way inclined - and once again wonder “what is WRONG with this guy?!” Special thanks to @markantonyowen.com for the love and support. Go read and listen to the poems NOW! #poetry #iamb #poetrylovers

Re that last repost. I always find it hard how queer centred orgs and pride events flock to these glory hunting reality TV types when there are so many real queer people working so much harder for the community than those just in it for themselves.