Just summoned the great Respectable beast Ragelimon to my chambers and turns out he's 5'8 plus he left a slime trail and foul stench that rendered my soul helpless and barren. This fucking sucks never doing ths shit again

ratio’d btw 🤣🤣🤣

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Speaking as a British person, we as a people are past these childish and ignorant stereotypes and I think it’s quite offensive to the plethora of British men, womxn, and chxldren that THIS is what we are associated with 🙄

My statement

NAHHHHH THIS BITCH GOT FIRED FROM HER POLYCULE AND CANT EVEN PAY HER MCRENT 😭😭😭

imagine coming back FIVE months after you last skeeted on here to post some schizo rubbish. sad!

@chuckwendig.bsky.social Hi Chuck! I was blocked by you on the hell app Twitter years ago because I said some pretty nasty stuff back then. I have actually read some of your novels since then and was moved by the care and badassery you put into your stories 😎 (and strong female characters) Godspeed!

there is a high likelihood that i will be dead this time next year

i need either a romantic partner or hard drugs

i think i need to solve more of my problems with violence and physical force

God gave me a gun and told me to go nuts

they should let me kill people

if i am not kissed gently on the forehead by the end of this week i am going to pull off all my toenails and crawl around on bloody stumps for the rest of the year

i love not following the instructions on how to properly defrost shrimp and eating it anyway

psychiatrist's wife: honey i hate to say this but you've been gaining a lot of weight lately. honestly you're really letting yourself go psychiatrist: (just going absolutely ham on a family pack of doritos) um. its actually a uhhh mental health thing. i have fuckin uhhhh binge... eating disorder

i think i should fall off the wagon. need some kind of adversity in my life

people generally want me to die

(nothing is worse than it was before, nothing is even happening, everything is exactly the same as it was yesterday) i should kill myself

i love breaking the law and i do it at least once or twice a week 😈

forgot this place still existed. hello :)

everyone on this earth has no soul or consciousness and are psychopaths i have zero regard for. unless they're nice to me

i love girls and weed. just call me womenlover420

dont care for barbie or Oppenheimer. baby shit. only film im looking forward to is the gran turismo film. its going to fucking suck and not be enjoyable at all bcs it's about some loser playing a video game and then having a rocky training montage the rest of the film. i am going to see it day one

no actually you see its good im being punished by the universe it's a funny prank that god is playing on me so I know how fucking annoying he finds me

wow! its dril day on bluesky!!!! you know what that means! the what's hot tab will have probably the most embarrassing posts you'll ever see in your life

they should make a phone that occasionally opens to the front camera at random intervals. they need to punish ugly people for being like that

throwback to when I met these things

putting an out of order sign on my penis and getting frustrated when it just creeps people out and makes them avoid me instead of charming them with my wit

i have an autistic fixation on my wife :)

love is so lame. like what oh you have someone who not only can tolerate being around you but actively relishes in it? you found your soulmate and you're both going to live your best lives together? lmfaoooo faggot

i want a majima everywhere type thing to happen to me. i need a nemesis that will disguise himself as a post box or something just to ambush me as I walk by. it will honestly make me a stronger man

i need drugs in my system now

i have developed a weird knack for recognizing old turkish men. like you show me a group of old men from that region and i will always pick out the turk from the group with 100% accuracy. i cannot do this with any other demographic even of other turks

food cravings can suck my fucking ass. yeah man i totally need to eat an entire chocolate cake all to myself in one sitting. that's necessary for my continued survival

what's the point of sticking your paw out buddy. how is that any more comfortable than sitting normally

are we ever going back to Twitter or inviting everyone there over here

people should start attacking me on the streets it will keep me on my toes

whenever a piece of technology stops working like it should i take it as an afront to me personally

oh you retweeted my post? you want to share my ideals with all your followers? you think my worldview should be forcibly exposed to those not yet initiated?

could someone please kill me or buy me lunch or something

i love revving my car really loudly while im waiting at a red light bcs it scares the crossing pedestrians and makes them think im about to run the red light. this is my road bitch you are all my playthings

sex before marriage is already pretty bad but sex AFTER marriage??? now that's just taking it too far

every so often I'll have a dream where I'm like, out in public doing regular stuff but I'm naked. And I'm confused as to why everyone is pissed off at me like its not even embarrassing to me I'm just getting yelled at for being naked on the bus and i cant understand why

if i had a gun on me at all times people would like me more

it's funny seeing the shit you get called a poser for in punk circles bcs like, you'll get in more trouble for listening to ska punk or my chemical romance or whatever than you would if you openly attended rock against communism

just in case my future spouse is reading this: i love telling my stupid cat that hes stupid and smelly and that i only keep him around out of pity, and if you marry me i will treat our kids just the same

if someone told me to cut off all my fingers and my toes and cut out my own eyes and cut off my ears and cut off my nose and lips and only then would they go out with me, i would do it all in a heartbeat

it's so funny that before you guys all knew how young i was most of you thought I was like. 30. was i that much of a weirdo

am I being watched over? protected by God or some kind of guardian deity? more at 10