An uplifting short story to divert from the daily deluge of dreck.

Watching an episode of BBC Question Time in 2025.

In the 'goalkeeper feigning injury to permit for an on-field team talk' stakes, I would score Jordan Pickford's acting skills a generous 1/10 there.

I froze your tears and made a dagger, and stabbed it in my cock forever. It stays there like Excalibur. Are you my Arthur? Say you are. Take this cool, dark, steeled blade, steal it, sheathe it, in your lake. I'd drown with you to be together. Must you breathe? 'Cause I need heaven.

Today I learned that Chris Mason has an absolutely perfect Wikipedia profile picture.

They're calling it "the most Sent from my iPad email of all time"

What you are greeted with when you decide to have a quick browse of Elon Musk's X in 2025, just to check up on the prevailing narrative:

At least somebody still grasps the art of understatement.

This is a lovely article.

Just saw a car - a Saab, naturally - with no less than TEN National Trust membership stickers in the window. Is that the Lib Dem voter version of those pubs with a multitude of “Sky Sports live here” stickers dating back to about 2010?

I have found some of the moralising about Rob Edwards - especially from blowhards like Simon Jordan - a bit tedious. Are football clubs not partly to blame for a culture where a few poor results can put a manager’s job on the line, making decisions like this more commonplace and easier to justify?

I have absolutely mastered the 'substituted player being hurried off the pitch by the referee in injury time with his team defending a one-goal lead' walk-jog when a car beckons me across the road. I must be close to being the best in the world at it.

Sarah Snook is great, but I thought All Her Fault was a pile of hot garbage.

BREAKING: The new director general of the BBC puts the final touches to his contract at Broadcasting House this evening, following the resignation of Tim Davie earlier today.

Aberdeen were a tough watch today. Motherwell didn’t have much cutting edge, but at least they had a plan to progress the ball and looked comfortable doing it. When we recovered possession, especially in the first half, it often felt like the only feasible option was to pass backwards or sideways.

I have seen the Christmas advert for the first time. I understand why everybody is raving about it now. Beautiful, inspiring, uplifting. The lads at the Salvation Army knock it out of the park, time and time again.

A ‘fun’ fact: Today, #WBA won a game where they had the majority of possession for the first time this season (62%). Their joint next highest for wins is 49% against Wrexham and PNE. I suspect that is at least partly reflective of league dynamics, though, and not solely about Albion or Ryan Mason.

Difficult to know who did best out of January 2023: Chelsea signing Mykhailo Mudryk for an up-front fee of around £62m, or Arsenal - having days earlier seen their move for Mudryk hijacked - landing on Leandro Trossard for around a third of that.

Absolutely outstanding. 10/10.

Not perfect, but an important three points and hopefully a tentative step in the right direction for #WBA. The timing of the equaliser was so important. Also, pleased to see Molumby back on the pitch - he splits opinion, but his instinct is to play forward and he adds variety. He has been missed.

That was a really great header from Heggebo. I think there is a really effective Championship centre-forward in there. #WBA

I want to watch Empire with David Olusoga, but I'm afraid his frankly dismal performance on Celebrity Traitors will have me doubting the credibility of literally everything he says.

"But no, it was actually close" gets me every single time.

The more I reflect on last night’s #CelebrityTraitors, the more I am forced to conclude that Nick basically just allowed intellectual snobbery to overtake him when it came to Joe.

Please do not ask me to elaborate on this, but, based purely on his #CelebrityTraitors performance, David Olusoga has exactly the same vibe as Keir Starmer as Prime Minister.

Alan Carr - absolute, utter, unmitigated legend. #CelebrityTraitors

Alan Carr

RFJFRJFDJDSJJSJDSSJDJSJNDSJFJDSJDJNDS #CelebrityTraitors

incredible effort from the Aberdeen travelling support first, drinking the 0930 Edinburgh to Larnaca dry, before then filling the waste tank with the resultant pish with 40 minutes to go. fair play to the cabin crew member who announced “we can either divert or yous can tie a knot in it”.

Of course not her fault that this would hinder her, but surely deep down they are all thinking that it *has* to be Cat because the chances of there being three male traitors is minuscule? #CelebrityTraitors

A very decent result for Aberdeen away at AEK Larnaca, that. A bit of respectability restored following the AEK Athens debacle. Nicolas Milanovic doing nothing at the end for the reputation of the Johnny Warren Medal, or the A-League more generally, mind.

The entire notion of a football club asking another football club for 'permission' to "speak to" a person is hilarious to me. I mean, seriously, what are you going to do if they just decide to call them anyway? Come on, let's get a grip here.

Kemi Badenoch should surely be picking up the phone to Suella Braverman and asking if she thinks Rishi Sunak - you know, the last Conservative PM and one she held high office under - is English. If the answer is anything other than an unambiguous “yes”, should she really be keeping the whip?

With credit to '@louorns' on X/Twitter, #WBA and Ryan Mason's biggest problem captured in one handy infographic.

Mark Robins is doing a great job at Stoke. He really is a very good manager. Frankly, the sort this iteration of Albion need to drag them up by the throat.

Twitter/X is swamped by AI slop now, but this reply to a Sky Sports post about Liverpool fans booing Trent Alexander-Arnold is accidentally superb. The concept of somebody actually booing their ex-partner at a family BBQ has completely sent me.

Good lad, Josh.

A little moment of history on Sky Sports tonight, as Charlton v West Brom is trialling the first ever fully AI co-commentator.

Currently in Aberdeen and bracing to ask some confused bar staff this evening if they would at all mind switching over from Liverpool v Real Madrid to Charlton v West Brom.

At school, I always found it a bit odd how we were implored to treat Wikipedia almost with disdain - or certainly a very high level of distrust. Rather than, say, a broadly excellent resource but to apply a degree of due diligence.

Any MP using "DOGE" approvingly should immediately be subjected to a by-election.

Sorry, but if you are trying to convince people that the UK is about to descend into civil war and that you are going to be at the vanguard of it, you simply cannot be posting about boarding a train for half an hour as if you have been conscripted for the Battle of Stalingrad.

Southgate isn't only a good person, but also has a knack of ending up closer than many leading UK politicians to where I think many voters actually are on these sorts of things.

The Office (UK) has a lot of great moments, but the greatest is actually in the first ever episode. It's when Gareth calls the calculator manufacturer with his complaint: "Well, I don't know. Circuitry? Sorry, who is this I'm talking to?". Just outrageously good.

Dons fans: If you’re wanting a good laugh, simply pop over to The Other Place and search “Miovski”.

Honestly, it’s almost 2026. Why is the WiFi on UK trains still so perennially shit? There is no possible excuse for it to be *this* bad.

What happened in Huntingdon is unspeakably horrific. One thing that makes it so shocking is it being so uncommon. I do worry there is a cynical push in some quarters to play on largely unfounded fears, and essentially make people afraid to leave their homes. That is corrosive for so many reasons.

As a future Prime Minister once said: 'If the ball came loose from the back of the scrum, which it won't of course, it would be a great, great thing to have a crack at.'

Probably my most unpopular Aberdeen opinion: As much as I can understand why we didn't do it after his underwhelming loan period, we should now be trying to sign Killian Phillips ASAP.