Hi mate. No biggie but if you’ve got a sec would you mind unblocking the Strait of Hormuz for us? No worries if not. Cheers pal, next pint on me. 👍

It is wild to me how many Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? contestants still haven't realised that you really need to use the audience lifeline by the £8,000 question at the very latest. After that, they are utterly useless.

I am going to tell my kids that this was Viktor Gyökeres.

It's always the ones you least expect.

I remembered I had paused the coverage at half-time for about thirty seconds. Naturally, I thought the game had been so bad that I could afford to quickly fast-forward and I would miss nothing of any note. So, of course, I come back to Nico O'Reilly being mobbed by his teammates at the corner flag.

I can never fully trust a football match when I have to choose between channels to watch it on. On ITV, I think Arsenal will win comfortably. I think Man City will edge it on penalties on Sky Sports, though. If I watch on Sky One, I think it might actually be a match abandoned situation.

I still can't quite compute in my mind that Spurs could play Championship football next season. The only thing that would make me accept it as a reality is if they did something genuinely hilarious in the next 48 hours, like appoint Harry Redknapp as manager.

Someone might want to let Kemi Badenoch and Nick Timothy know that a Nottingham Forest player, who is a proud Christian, has just been cautioned for taking off his shirt to reveal a "God is Great" message to the crowd.

Remember in 2014, a week or two before the referendum, when there was that debate on the BBC with an audience of secondary school children, I think at the Hydro, and Better Together put forward Galloway as one of their representatives? That was utterly wild.

Celtic are rubbish. They still have enough individual quality to win games of fine margins, and if they had stuck with O'Neill during the Nancy experiment then they would probably have enough margin for error to accommodate the odd result like this. But, fundamentally, they are really bad.

Oh, that is an absolute stinker for Celtic. It's Jim Goodwin's Dundee United - they are barely even trying to win games now!

Watching the Newcastle v Sunderland game. Not sure a take in English football in recent times has aged worse than the weird outrage when Mikel Arteta replaced Aaron Ramsdale with David Raya as Arsenal number one.

I’m a huge fan of regional accents coming through football chants, and it does kind of sound like Newcastle fans are chanting "nuke us all" when they chant "Newcastle" on repeat. It’s more fun if you imagine that is what they are chanting, actually.

Oh, no. Aftersun has just started on BBC Two. I am obligated to watch it - again. Probably about the twelfth time, but I'm no longer keeping count. A beautiful, magnificent film.

Has #SNLUK actually got that juice?

An absolute gift of a 1% question on The 1% Club, there. That’s a 30% question at an absolute push.

Robinson with a very obvious post-match dig at Thelin on RedTV for being too soft on the players: "I've told a few home truths tonight, which should have been done maybe six, seven months ago."

We are in massive trouble. Nothing about us, forgotten how to win games, cannot defend to save our lives, and a manager not known for making quick starts when he first joins a team. Gulp.

A goal for Miovski overturned by VAR for a handball against Barron. A genuine highlight of the season for this tinpot Dons man.

Topi Keskinen having one of those cameos where he inexplicably plays like the 2015/16 version of Jonny Hayes or something.

I like Toyosi Olusanya. Maybe it's just a sign of where we are right now as he really doesn't have great quality, but I do like him. Applies himself, understands the value of being a nuisance, knows his own strengths and tries to play to them.

Been a bit better in possession this half, and Olusanya has made a difference, but yet more evidence there that we are just so pitifully easy to score against.

Good finish from Geiger. Looks like he might have a bit about him.

Right, Aberdonians/Aberdeen fans: How do you pronounce "Lobban"? I have always said "Law-bin" (back to when I had a teacher at school with the surname). But amount of people, including fellow Aberdonians, saying "Low-bin" (when speaking about Dylan Lobban) has me disconcerted. Who is wrong?

Just got to get through to half-time here and get Olusanya on for the anonymous Bilalovic. Some of our passing is dreadful, but not helped by lack of options.

It's obviously not a new thing, but our forward movement in possession - with the possible exception of Nisbet - is absolutely appalling.

Great to see Jack Mackenzie now starting regularly for #PAFC - and in a winning team. A dedicated, honest professional who deserves a slice of fortune after such bad luck with injury in the first half of the season. Really hope he kicks on to have a good career down there.

Good on James Morrison. Sometimes football isn't rocket science. It's about adjusting to reality and getting the most from what you have. And, for all that has been said about recruitment, many Championship clubs - including #WBA - will spend much, much more on much, much worse than George Campbell.

A bit surprised Robinson hasn't gone with Olusanya for his pressing. Will need to see more from Bilalovic out of possession than in recent times. Lobban and Gyamfi as wing-backs is quite bold - again, challenge for both of them will be what they offer without the ball as much as with it.

Bloody hell. St Mirren ahead at Falkirk. Kilmarnock also winning, but that was expected. Complacency has got us here, but we could really do with getting points on the board now - starting at Ibrox. It should be a statement of the obvious, but we cannot afford to keep sleepwalking to the play-offs.

Mark my words: Attleeton v Athelstan will be a truly mouthwatering Isthmian League fixture.

To everyone around the world marking the end of Ramadan, wishing you a blessed time with your friends and family. Ed Miliband!

Stepped up twice - technically three times - in unforgiving circumstances. A member of the coaching staff that brought back the Scottish Cup. Should go with nothing but our best wishes.

Aside from everything else, they are just so fucking weird.

Watching the Barcelona v Newcastle highlights. Not sure a take in English football in recent times has aged worse than the weird outrage when Mikel Arteta replaced Aaron Ramsdale with David Raya as Arsenal number one.

FAO Eddie Gray: If you can convince Archie to declare for Scotland before the World Cup, that would be greatly appreciated.

Saw "Newcastle UCL" among the trending topics on Bluesky and genuinely thought for a couple of seconds that a particularly mouthwatering contest of University Challenge must have really caught the interest. Then the penny dropped.

I was on the cleanshirt side of the argument when Senegal walked off, and I still think there needs to be a significant sanction for that, but I'm not sure who this is designed to placate nor what it achieves, really.

EFL League Two defenders who sound like they should be hereditary peers in the House of Lords.

Just witnessed a bus driver cut straight past a stop he was supposed to pull in at, and the people waiting for said bus at the shelter threw up their arms like coaching staff and players in a dugout in a state of utter disbelief that the referee had not given them a penalty kick.

Europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of Hormuz:

If push came to shove, I reckon I could do a year as a fruitarian - but only if the produce was exclusively M&S' finest.

With some managerial stability and the benefit of a season to acclimatise, I really do think this guy can be a top Championship centre-forward - and suspect that is his floor rather his ceiling. Got all the tools.

Britons should strive to pay minimum tax legally possible, says Richard Tice

Made it to Rung 6 today. My lack of certainty about what season a former Scotland striker scored for Wolves at Wigan eventually my undoing.

At my secondary school, I always found it a bit odd how we were implored to treat Wikipedia almost with disdain - or certainly an extremely high level of distrust. Rather than, say, a broadly excellent resource but to apply a sensible degree of care and due diligence.

Everyone getting a run out on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? tonight, like some sort of pre-season friendly that has got a bit out of control.

I try and appear nonchalant when waiting for my suitcase to emerge on the carousel at baggage reclaim, but internally I am all over the place. It hasn't happened yet, but I am convinced that one day another passenger is going to make a move for my suitcase and all hell is going to break loose.

You can see why Spurs were so keen to sign Andy Robertson from Liverpool in January. What a contribution he has made for the visitors this afternoon.