what if i did flirt with you? how could you tell the difference? [claw on his forehead, pressing down like adleigh was a bobblehead.] because i'd STILL eat you.

[staring down at him. leering. blinking a few times (in reptilian fashion).] but i am not... flirting with you? [seems he doesn't get it.]

yes. what your head is going to be two minutes from now

what's wrong with you. i don't care anymore!!!!

i would do that. i would snatch you up and eat you.

like a hawk to a piece of prey... i'd care, warrior

[tail continuing to wag as teemo briefly departs, he lowered himself to rest on his belly in the dirt. embarrassing that he felt this way, but... ugh. stupid yordle.]

...alright. you make a good enough point. ...can you... get a pot for me? [he's handing the flower back. those foggy eyes show a genuine attempt at wanting to care for this flower!]

no, not necessarily that... what if /i/ destroy it? it's so fragile and little. [he seemed awed by the gift, being extraordinarily careful with it... he's really worried!]

[the nine foot crocodile squats, tail wagging behind him as he took it in his large, weathered claws.] it is. i'm... worried, though.

... don't say it like that. i will take it.

... what.. what would i do with a flower? it would wilt in the heat... /////

my fiancé teemo

GRRRAAHHH!!!!

[staring @rushhourer.bsky.social down ...]

[CHOMP. not actually hard, though.] shfut upf.

i have a better idea. [opening his mouth-]

but that's the best part. you're supposed to be MY chef, you make what i want 💢

can it be? i will provide ingredients.

⠀ ' '⠀ 𝑨ᴺᴰ if 𝒊𝒕 was g𝘰𝘯𝘯a » kill 𝐲ᴏ𝒖 , 𝙱𝙾𝚈 , 🂡 𝐢𝐭 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 have by 𝐍ᴼᵂ .ᐟ ⠀ ⠀

no. i eat anything with flesh. sand is considered an appetizer.

what food can you make out of sand? we have a lot of sand.

it's better than how it was from you any other time... but his face actually shook when he growled. that's effort.

the scout said you make pizzas. i'm keeping you as my personal food maker.

... yeah, no. [flicking his forehead.]

oh? then do it.

good. satisfactory. [grabbing him by the torso with his massive hand like a barbie doll] i'm keeping you

everything about you.

... no, you can't.

any.

do you not think i mean what i say? after i turn you into a puddle of blood, your hat is going to be the only thing SOLID about you!! give me a SNARL

it's not a threat, it's a promise.

LOUDER, BEFORE I PLUCK YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR SHOULDERS LIKE A GRAPE!!!!!

...can we get his pizza at least?

don't leave. we can bully him together

no wait

GIVE ME EFFORT, BOY

i want my pizza leave me alone.

growl back.

grrrr

【 #USRP ― ADALID #087 】 The Thievius Raccoonus doesn't create great thieves. It takes great thieves to create the Thievius Raccoonus! － #SLYRP × #MVRP

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ︵ ㅤㅤ➣ㅤㅤ𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ︶ ㅤ

[more tail wags- it's a blur behind the gator!] ah... cooked correctly, as i'd hoped. i wasn't sure. i'm not a chef like you. [he's... blushing? pink hue across his muzzle.]

 ⠀⠀⠀ ✧. 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝕳𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝕭𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒 .   ⠀⠀⠀

okay. that's easy. [big claws quickly piece it into chunks, offering teemo a piece. his thick tail was kind of wagging behind him, a bit excited that teemo even /enjoyed/ his gesture! he was proud of his choice!!] i made sure to make it soft and juicy.