sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it and my heart is just going to cave in #brentford

idk if I’ve ever hated anyone more than I hate the man in my neighborhood who yells at my dog to “shut up” when she barks in the backyard. she’s a dog! she barks sometimes! you’re a grown ass man who can’t regulate his emotions!

I actually do think the mafia should be in charge of sportsbooks. being able to place a bet on your phone is absolutely wild

“if you’re cold they’re cold bring them inside” ok have you tried telling my dog that 😭

by the way it’s the 20th anniversary of troy and gabriella singing karaoke

alright!!!!!! progressive agrees I’m not at fault in the accident I got in the other day!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to see ZERO AI slop in the year 2026 😌

wait the next season of bridgerton is about benedict and a lady??? isn’t he gay as hell??????

by the way the best christmas songs are: 1. christmas wrapping by the waitresses 2. father christmas by the kinks 3. i want a hippopotamus for christmas by gayla peevey I will not be elaborating further or accepting critiques at this time.

tested positive for covid on tuesday and I just now had the most satisfying nose blow. my ears finally popped. that was the one guys

absolute shock. RIP Mickey. oh my god.

tell me why I’m watching a docuseries about a cult and I know one of the people in it

trying to convince my friend who lives in san francisco to fly to boston in april to see lily allen with me. I think I’ve almost got her wish me luck

telling my kids this is the winner of #tar38

I could fix them

trafficked with mariana van zeller on natgeo is the wildest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t even know how to get to the dark web

am I a bad person for thinking f1 races with no crashes are boring

brentford at spurs today and I literally feel like I’m gonna barf

I just know if she hadn’t been busy figure skating madison chock would’ve run her high school drama club like it was the navy

just saw wicked for good and it turns out I have a disease where I was thinking of this the entire movie

finally renewed my passport that expired in 2021 🤪 get me tf outta here!!!

the way every single husband on slomw is the worst man. like how do they keep out doing each other

customers in the bookstore are always like “I have a random question” and then it’s the most normal question you’ve ever heard. I’m begging someone to actually ask me a random question. Like what’s the average weight of a right whale? I don’t know! let’s find out!

Oh oh you want the guy in the $5000 suit to voice GMC commercials?!?!?!

recently found out that will arnett has been the voice of gmc commercials since 1998 and it’s completely fucking with me

my high school only taught latin american history in spanish class and I didn’t take spanish so I know nothing about latin american history. fucked up

one year of not getting that tight feeling in my chest when I open a microblogging app 💕✨

If Taylor Hale has one million fans, I am one of them. If Taylor Hale has one fan, it is Joseph Abdin If Taylor Hale has no fans, then me and Joseph Abdin are dead.

the way kyland talks to taylor makes me a little h*micidal idk #tar38

genuinely beautiful that new york elected a muslim lefty mayor the same day that dick cheney died

i can’t believe a good thing happened we should do this more often

oh hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous, I don’t know who this man is. I mean he could be walking down the street, I wouldn’t - I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man

dick cheney dead and zohran election ??? it’s a good tuesday

Dick Cheney’s tour guide welcoming him to hell

I have been incredibly lucky in that in my lifetime the red sox have never lost a world series and I think this is the first time a team I was actively rooting for lost???? I feel sad!!

I hate that dodger’s stupid van cleef necklace and earrings!!!!!

like why did I expect anything nice or cool or fun to happen. in the year of our lord 2025

we can’t have anything nice anymore

oh noooooo

If you're in line to bat at Game 7 of the World Series STAY IN LINE

please I need the blue jays to win 😭

demi lovato’s new album sounds like it’s from 2015 (positive)

why can’t I find black jeans anymore. they’re all blackwash/gray now

the good news is the baseball boys get to spend a few extra hours playing their special interest game tonight. it’s important to tire out the boys!

there’s a moment when ohtani comes up to bat when you can see all the thoughts leave his head and it’s just baseball

these microsoft ai commercials with vampire weekend songs are driving me absolutely insane!! vampire weekend didn’t use ai when they were students at columbia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just think it would be really beautiful if the canadian team won the world series this year