I know absolutely zero about soccer and I’m not planning on learning it now. Have fun soccer peeps. I’ll check back in next month when this stuff is over.

Learning how to tie boot laces with a Berluti knot is a game changer.

I just sent a text to someone and my iPhone changed “She looked me in the eye” to “She lactated in my eye” and I seriously can’t stop laughing.

My wife won’t allow me to do laundry. Never ask her to do laundry, I’m fully capable of washing and folding my own clothes. Yet, every time she does laundry, she acts like she’s using bar soap and a washboard in 1886. You literally threw the stuff in and hit a button.

Why does the law always win in a fight until now?

Starting a sleeve.

This is amazing - @kevinolearytv 🤡 is fearmongering about Chinese agents opposing his giant Utah data center… but it’s 2 young local girls in Utah who hilariously call him (and his “dumbass hat”) out👇🏽 Full: www.instagram.com/reel/DYU074V...

I just got fired from watering the garden by a 6 yr old. Apparently, I’m kit very good at it.

I’ll never forget when I took my oldest son to Vegas for his 21st. I was super drunk and my feet were killing me, I looked at my health app on my phone and we did 37,000 steps that day. We walked almost 17 miles.

Quite the collection. Adding a Burkheimer soon

I’ve been 86’d out of more than one bar in my life, I’m still alive.

Anyone who is normal knows that being 86’d means being kicked out, not killed.

All I want to do for the rest of my days is stand in water.

My wife is dealing/going through perimenopause. I’m soooo glad she never learned how to use a firearm.

In other news, it’s Christmas in Alaska.

As much as anyone with a brain respects Pete Buttigieg, as a country we can’t expect him to win. This country won’t get over him being gay, he is essentially unelectable. It’s sad, but true. I like him, respect him and would vote for him, but the greater population won’t. That’s a hard truth.

The FBI guy is on a paranoid bender and won’t leave his room. The War guy quotes bible passages from Pulp Fiction. The Health guy collects raccoon dicks. It’s an Idiocracy on steroids.

Trying to help my 75 yr old mom in Alaska. Doing the Power of Attorney, Will, real estate stuff etc. She has a Dell computer that I swear is from 2003 at the max, her iPhone is busted and she gave me 3 excel spreadsheets of passwords for her account. None of them have been updated in 3 years.

Summer steelhead prep. Gonna spend the next few weeks tyin

I really wish we could go back to a time when the we only heard the name Trump was when it was referring to some self centered real estate douchebag. Now we have to mention him daily and it just feeds his ego.

I’m just really tired of the noise we’ve had to endure since 2016. It has become absolutely unbearable. Trump this, Trump that, blah, blah, blah. Fuck Trump and anyone who supported him. I’m going fishing.

I’ve voted Democrat for about 20 years now, I’m also a responsible gun owner. When the current administration takes away gun rights after 20 years of the GOP platforming on gun rights is going to be absolutely hilarious.

Pick up a new line holder.

I’ll just throw this out there in case anyone is ignorant, Markwayne Mullin is an idiot.

I will personally talk shit to every person that I know that voted for Trump. I will look them in the eye and tell them to their face, “ TDS my ass, I’ve tried to tell you for 10 years you stupid fucking asshole. You own this”!

I’d fight Markwayne Mullin. It would be fun.

We are in this shitshow because podcasters decided to host : Trump, Gabbard, Vance, Hegseth, etc and chose to flood the zone with bullshit. I personally will hold Rogan, Vonn, Ryan, etc responsible. They are all full of shit and don’t have the wherewithal to reverse course and make a change.

You assholes can believe in whatever god you choose to. You can’t force me to believe and you can kill because I don’t. How is that fair? Stop killing innocent people over it. Seriously. Religion is fucking stupid.

Every time I study history, it seems like all empires end because of overzealous leaders. And here we are.

It sure would be nice if humans stopped killing other over religious beliefs.

He’s such a gigantic toddler.

The chickens are coming home to roost. I’ve known Trump was a piece of shit for a long time, I judge men by their character and something always struck me with him. I’ve lost friendships and family members because I stuck with my beliefs that he’s a garbage human.

Nice eyeliner you dork.

When you google Dunning-Krueger there is just a picture of RFK jr as a definition.

Femke Kok is much prettier than Jutta Leerdam.

Nice day on the Clearwater.

Every single person named in the Epstein files should have to testify in front of Congress. If found to be a Pedo, they should spend the rest of their lives in prison.

Can aomeone tell these players to just play and shut the fuck up. That was one of the dumbest penalties at the dumbest time

Every single member of the GOP that is trying to justify what happened in Minnesota needs to be voted out of office. This is beyond just political beliefs, this is about morality and integrity.

Patriots in the Super Bowl? Cool, now Seattle needs to win so we can get one back. #rematch

So they shot that dude because after removing his pistol, the agent taking the pistol away has a ND and all the other agents spaz out and shoot the guy about 10 times? All on video? This is a shitshow.

If this joke of an administration starts a bunch of wars that require them to initiate a draft, I will do everything in my power to help my sons avoid it. Even if I have to help them leave the country. I’m not letting them get killed over this orange clowns stupid ideas.

We are in this situation because a bunch mouth breathers get all of their info from Facebook memes and Fox News instead of actually reading.

Eisenhower warned us after WWII about the military industrial complex. We completely ignored it. We are fucking stupid.

If you think for a second that gas prices will decrease if we get more oil from Venezuela, you’re a moron and don’t understand how commodities work.

I might actually overdose on Christmas cookies today.

Well, Holy.Shit. Didn’t see that coming.

What in the actual fuck? This game is so weird. I have no idea what’s going on.

Damn it. The rams are good. I’ll admit it.

Wtf? Why do the Seahawks look like the Oregon Ducks uni’s?