“It’s quicker than a jury - and more fun!” From the new Private Eye, out now.

#NowPlaying Marillion - Brave. Amazing album and glad i've heard it live a few times. #MusicSky tidal.com/track/855960...

#Lego kit finished, very enjoyable.

Chilling out making the #Lego Nigel Mansell Williams FW14B F1 car. Enjoyable build so far

I've not had a drink for nearly 3 years, but this episode could push me over the edge. #TOTP

What is this shite, can we have the snooker back please. #TOTP

🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: Unwise Councils Rotten Boroughs correspondent Saba Salman joins Adam, Helen and Andy to discuss the Reform Party, Your Party, the Democratic Party and Part 94 of who's going to own the Telegraph. Listen: pod.fo/e/35e7cd YouTube: youtu.be/9pEil6-fc3Y

Bill Gates Epstein Files latest From the new Private Eye, out now.

Another good evening. Same time next week pop pickers. #TOTP

Fucking hell, not again!!! What did we do? #TOTP

Someone gave me Stars as a birthday present. I never spoke to them again. #TOTP

Oh please no, hide the sharp objects. #TOTP

QUICK HIDE THE CHILDREN!!! #TOTP

Let me say whale. Strange thing to shout. #TOTP

Bono no, just no #TOTP

Oh god no. They have started the dogs off now. #TOTP

Naked flames near those curtains, someone didn't do a risk assessment. #TOTP

Gary Barlow saving some money by getting his mum to cut his hair. #TOTP

I thought 1984 was faster than this. Someone check the tape speed. #TOTP

The only thing missing from that routine was a mummy popping up #TOTP

No expense spared on this routine. #TOTP

I preferred the follow up single about roller skates. #TOTP

Play the kids singing about their birds you cowards. #TOTP

Do you believe in autotune after love. #TOTP

oh how we miss the Jamie Theakston banter. #TOTP

Couple of minutes late this evening. Maybe i should have been a bit later. #TOTP

Coincidence corner: Nigel Farage and crypto. From the new Private Eye, out now.

#NowPlaying Marillion - An Hour Before It's Dark. Great album, i was worried after not liking FEAR. But i shouldn't have been. music.apple.com/gb/album/an-... #Musicsky

Why is it on my BlueSky Discovery tab either cats, that orange moron or half naked men? I don't mind the cats, the others can bugger off.

#NowPlaying Gazpacho - March of Ghosts. music.apple.com/gb/album/mar...

Phil did it better. #TOTP

Someone's had too many wine gums. #TOTP

BRING BACK LEGS & CO!!!!!!! #TOTP

The cheering at the end of that song woke me up. #TOTP

Play Rush you cowards. #TOTP

80's big on bongos. #TOTP

I hear you started your career in england? Yeah i used to play Pontins down at Camber Sands. #TOTP

Everytime he looks at the camera grannies knickers all over the country combust. #TOTP

Oh no, no more Enya. #TOTP

One gust of wind and she could ground flights at Gatwick. #TOTP

Seems like a good time to go for a pee. #TOTP

Has someone turned the brightness down? #TOTP

Legs & Co. #TOTP

Double Cliff, didn't we suffer enough the first time. #TOTP

70's save us, please. #TOTP

I bet Cliff is in the studio crossing himself repeatedly watching this. #TOTP

Sorry i can't make 98 next week. I have a note from my mum. #TOTP

Bugger that explosion missed them all. #TOTP