A single mom who loves two jobs Who works her kids and never stops

For sale: stroller, never worn Beat you by 1 word Hemingway you idiot

Drinking & smoking so Hannibal Lector won’t eat me. Your move, Doctor

More like Floored By The Bling (my wife when she saw da ring brother)

The leopard from Tarzan is alive for a crazy amount of time

Guy who’s incredibly smart: what is the day, if not the night with sun

The water of Florida is bad and I love it

(guy who’s gonna do bad against his rival) heh, don’t even try

The loving my wife disease? Got the test results back: incurable 😔

Suddenly out of nowhere pee-filled is the bladder that wears the neurodivergent crown

Fallout? More like callout, as in the kind of post one should make when wronged 😎

In the club straight Grobin it

If we really go to the scoreboard I don’t know if anyone has left a bigger legacy than the guy whose name became a holiday where people fuck

Calling it now: the Minnesota Gameboys will win the match

It’s not impossible for me to become Lord of the Dance

I will begin anew, like a goblin rising from the goblin pile

Lin Unwell Miranda

I have started hoarding double D batteries in the confident gamble that our economy will soon become heavily reliant on said batteries

So much strife? More like love my wife

Joyous! Ha-Ha!

Doctor, I have a condition where every morning I wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world

Running into more conflict with my polyamorous bowling league

The Prince of Chanukah

I’m trying to be like “crumbs!” But I’m always like “fuck!”

Larvard University just expelled me because I killed a million people :/

*really annoying guy voice* I’m so sorry, sir, the tumor is inoperable

@erikaishii.bsky.social Hello, Happy Sunday! We met at a wedding last summer and I told you I was going to propose to my girlfriend while she was practically right next to us 😂 well…now she’s my wife. Hope you’re doing well :)

Saw Bat Boy. Not sure how he becomes Batman after that but I admire the new take on a prequel

I’m so glad I got elected president. I think my first act will be to throw myself a fifty million dollar party and then cut welfare.

Heavy is the penis that has the heavy penis

First of all.

On one hand, there’s a glove. On the other hand? Don’t want to give anything away

Married

It’s crazy how good at blowing up balloons I am

It’s suspiciously easy to become a legally ordained minister

I don’t have an announcement

What’s good for the horse is good for the stupid lil guy

“To thine own self be true” Okay Shakespeare… but what if you’re a full-on freak what then Mister Bard

The Harry Beer Night School For Dweebs

Umpire Diaries

More like The Miserables

I think I’m a nudist???

Crazy how long this conversation has been going on

I love Sutphin Boulevard

Woah, that’s a pretty BFD (Me looking at attractive comedian and podcaster extraordinaire, Baul F. Dompkins)

You gotta stop wearin Converse with the Johnverse and start wearin Hokes with the blokes

If a bully tries to take your gloves, you tell ‘em “No!”

I applied for Harvard but I only got into Larvard :/

More problems would be solved with a race around the world