If his brain was on fire, I wouldn't piss in his ear. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Coach Beard: Look, I understood this mission when we were in Kansas. But those were kids and these are professionals and winning does matter to them. And it matters to me. And that's okay. Ain't that right, Mae? Mae: A-f$cking-men it is. / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies

(Dani has much love to give.) / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Yes, it bounced off my face. But my face almost scored. / Ted Lasso S03E02 (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea #TedLasso

(Mae straightens the picture of Geronimo, just as in the final episode of "Cheers") / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

We start tomorrow. 4:00 a.m. Clean that up. / Ted Lasso S03E03 4-5-1 #TedLasso

Please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond, Roy Kent! / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

It's you. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Look, me and Keeley might be starting up a thing, but every time I think about her, all I think about is Jamie f$cking Tartt. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Wonder Kid. / Ted Lasso S02E07 Headspace #TedLasso

That's stupid. Should have stayed, crushed it. Legend. Just a bit unlucky at the end. Can I get an ussie? / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Ted: Look, there's Beard over there. That's his new gal, Jane. Yeah, they met at his Friday night chess club. Apparently, they liked each other's moves. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Welton Sells 49% Of Club To Fans / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Ted: Spoiler alert. I made you a BLT. Coach Beard: Samesies. / Ted Lasso S02E06 The Signal #TedLasso

Barbecue sauce. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Somebody order a Roy on the rocks, huh? / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies #TedLasso

Any day that annoys Roy... holiday for me. / Ted Lasso S03E10 International Break #TedLasso

Huh. It's not counterfeit. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Roy: There's, um, a lot of other seats. Ted: Well, yeah, this is what my ticket says. / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies #TedLasso

Take him out! / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

We're so full we ran out of pint glasses. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Oh, goodness me. I hope that fan's okay. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

You sure you don't want a plastic whistle? / Ted Lasso S03E07 The Strings That Bind Us #TedLasso

Did McAdoo just hit the ball through the bloody net? / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

I do love a locker room. Smells like potential... and am I getting notes of Axe body spray? / Ted Lasso S01E01 Pilot #TedLasso

I would like to see a tulip. / Ted Lasso S03E06 Sunflowers #TedLasso

Just the tip? / Ted Lasso S03E07 The Strings That Bind Us #TedLasso

Sounds to me like someone's trapped inside life's most complicated shape. A love triangle. Second place of course is the "I just walked in on my mother-in-law changing into her swimsuit" dodecahedron. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

My shite in nining armor. / Ted Lasso S03E05 Signs #TedLasso

Medium-talent? / Ted Lasso S02E12 Inverting the Pyramid of Success #TedLasso

Ah. And there it is. Number four. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Which one of these is me? / Ted Lasso S03E03 4-5-1 #TedLasso

Aw, look at her. She's fu$king fit! / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Keeley: (to Rebecca) We're both single. I think you are super hot. If I'm gonna dip my toe back into the lady pool, I can't think of a finer body of water to do it with than you. / Ted Lasso S01E07 Make Rebecca Great Again #TedLasso

Van Damme. You look like a superhero. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Sending off Van Damme was a mistake. He played with passion. "Passion" is a word we use when we talk about love. It is also a word we use to describe a crime. Sometimes it is also a fruit. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

Holy guacamole. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

I made it at school. The colors spell your name. Red, orange, yellow. Roy. / Ted Lasso S03E10 International Break #TedLasso

I prefer rugby. There's just more grown men throwing other grown men into the air like children. And blood. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Ouch. Looks like you're gonna lose another team. My God, you get through them like wives... or mistresses... or, I'm assuming, tubes of hemorrhoid cream. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

The other side of the pillow. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso