First, she wants to go on a break, and now the old digital Irish goodbye. Which is a term I never really understood. 'Cause I got a buddy back home named Seamus O'Malley, and that son of a gun hugs folks goodbye for, like, 20 minutes before he leaves anywhere. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux…

How worried are you about the threat of relegation? #TedLasso

I mean, Keeley's just so kind. You know, to be liked by someone like her must be... 's wonderful. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Ted: Uh-oh. When girl talk turns into girl hug, you know that either means something horrible's happened or absolutely nothing at all. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Roy appears in the dark. #TedLasso #RoyKent

It's like I got diarrhea of the thumbs or something. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

You know how you're never ever supposed to write another text to an unanswered text? / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Ted, can I be honest with you? You seem intent on going 12 rounds with yourself. Why? What did you do wrong? / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Hopes are as high as a giraffe’s top hat! #TedLasso

If you get curious and you start searching around on Twitter, I would avoid #Richmond, or wanker. Or dick. / Ted Lasso S01E01 Pilot #TedLasso

Just because they're dirty doesn't mean they don't deserve to have a friend. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Ted: Sorry you're out of a job. You know what this makes you now, though, right? Trent: Trent Crimm. Independent. / Ted Lasso S02E12 Inverting the Pyramid of Success #TedLasso

It is nice to meet you. Edwin has told me awful things about you. / Ted Lasso S03E10 International Break #TedLasso

I haven't seen 22 dudes have this good a time on grass since I saw the Grateful Dead jamming with the Black Crowes and Phish. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Rupert: The highest bidder gets to spend a day at a swanky hotel by the pool drinking frozen daiquiris and soaking up the rays... Roy: No, we said there's no daiquiris and no rays. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

If anything, you should find out before you flip out. / Ted Lasso S03E08 We'll Never Have Paris #TedLasso

You know, I didn't wanna say it at the time 'cause I'm trying to be less stuck in my f?cking ways... / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Yo, Jamie Tartt. It's you, yeah? Let me get an ussie. / Ted Lasso S01E10 The Hope that Kills You #TedLasso

Why don't we get out of this stuffy auditorium, go out on the pitch and have a proper fu$k-about? / Ted Lasso S01E03 Trent Crimm: The Independent #TedLasso

That right there, that's a scone, okay? It's like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth. / Ted Lasso S01E05 Tan Lines #TedLasso

Coach Beard: I don't think I've ever been in a properly Anglican house of worship before... / Ted Lasso S02E10 No Weddings and a Funeral #TedLasso

Jamie, thank you. Whenever I break up with someone, I spend months questioning it, wondering if I made a huge f*cking mistake. But you have really helped me to feel good about this decision, just by... being you. / Ted Lasso S01E05 Tan Lines #TedLasso

That's it, people. Just like my legs after a date with a guy who kept correcting me, we're closed. / Ted Lasso S02E09 Beard After Hours #TedLasso

Mate, I've done these before. If she bids over 3,000, you will have to f#ck her. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

We haven't seen this since 2001 in Newcastle. And a season of lows for Richmond sinks even further still. / Ted Lasso S01E05 Tan Lines #TedLasso

In year five, I was not allowed in the class photo because I developed a rare smile allergy. / Ted Lasso S02E12 Inverting the Pyramid of Success #TedLasso

Can't keep a gaffer from his pitch. / Ted Lasso S01E01 Pilot #TedLasso

Ted: Sorry for your loss, ladies. Deborah: Don't be, Ted. You didn't kill him, did you? / Ted Lasso S02E10 No Weddings and a Funeral #TedLasso

Mom! There are two white people at the door and they're smiling! / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso

Ted: I had a hunch you were gonna pick this dress. And may I say, you are wearing the heck out of it. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

But it's not the whole world in one night. It's the whole world split up into 24 different time zones. You see, Santa's true power is not his speed but his endurance. / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso

Dr. Sharon helped me remember that even though football is life, football is also death. And that football is football too. But mostly that football is life! / Ted Lasso S02E01 Goodbye Earl #TedLasso

I just had one piece of cereal and I'm pretty stuffed. / Ted Lasso S01E02 Biscuits #TedLasso

Dani: I bring a traditional Mexican ponche! If you want to be a little bit cheeky, you can put some tequila in it. Julie: Dani, it already smells like it has tequila in it. Dani: Yes, this one is pre-cheeked. / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso

Let's go ahead and do a little 7-on-7. I call this drill The Exorcist. It's all about controlling possession. / Ted Lasso S01E02 Biscuits #TedLasso

Let's see what we got here. "Wanker." Let's see what else we got. "Piss off, wanker." "I hope you choke on a Big Mac." / Ted Lasso S01E02 Biscuits #TedLasso

I always end up with my watch being stolen or a story in the press about how my penis has a curve in it. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Keeley: What is Ted doing? Roy: He's probably homesick. Closest thing he can find to a Dodge Ram. / Ted Lasso S02E02 Lavender #TedLasso

I hope y'all drank a lot of water today 'cause y'all are gonna be so dehydrated, that you're gonna look like one of them trees from a Tim Burton movie. I'm talking any Tim Burton movie! Even Dumbo! / Ted Lasso S02E03 Do the Right-est Thing #TedLasso

Keeley: I don't even remember doing this. / Ted Lasso S01E07 Make Rebecca Great Again #TedLasso

My plan is for my plan to work. But you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right? Mm. Said "plan" too many times. Word's lost all its meaning now. Plan. Plan. Plan. Doesn't matter. / Ted Lasso S01E06 Two Aces #TedLasso

Roy: I dated Gina Gershon once. Ted: That makes me happy. / Ted Lasso S02E05 Rainbow #TedLasso

Ted: Hey, Roy. You know you're paid to coach the whole team, right? Roy: No, no, that's fine. Just take four percent off my paycheck. / Ted Lasso S02E06 The Signal #TedLasso

We found Nate. Hangover City. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Rupert: Mae, you are as delicious as ever. From your West End to your Marble Arch. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

(Song plays) "Tout doux tout doucement" by Marcel Amont. / Ted Lasso S03E08 We'll Never Have Paris #TedLasso

Be great if you yelled at us a bit. / Ted Lasso S03E04 Big Week #TedLasso

The idea behind every trick play is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii. / Ted Lasso S01E10 The Hope that Kills You #TedLasso

Keeley: Oh, no. Don't tell me your password was "password." Jamie. Jamie: Yeah. Well, to be fair, I did think I'd fool 'em 'cause I spelled it with two S's. / Ted Lasso S03E08 We'll Never Have Paris #TedLasso

Three lagers, please, Mae. They're free. We want the boots. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso