Boy, I love meeting people's moms. It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts. / Ted Lasso S02E06 The Signal #TedLasso

I believe in communism. Rom-communism, that is. / Ted Lasso S02E05 Rainbow #TedLasso

Kinesics. Study of body language. Just look at 'em. No eye contact, Keeley's crossed arms. Roy's clenched arse. It's science. / Ted Lasso S03E02 (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea #TedLasso

(Roy hugs Jamie) / Ted Lasso S02E08 Man City #TedLasso

Keeley: God. I think men who feel sorry for themselves are so s3xy... No, seriously. I do. And if you start telling me how hard it is playing a game for a living, I think I might c0me. / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies #TedLasso

That's no excuse to play like you're afraid of 'em. You could see it in their faces: Abject terror. Like children waiting in line for the handsy Father Christmas. Have some fu*king pride in your shirt or don't fu*king wear it. / Ted Lasso S02E02 Lavender #TedLasso

There's a great saying in Dutch football... Every disadvantage has its advantage. / Ted Lasso S01E10 The Hope that Kills You #TedLasso

Nothing's impossible. / Ted Lasso S03E08 We'll Never Have Paris #TedLasso

Orion's Belt! / Ted Lasso S02E09 Beard After Hours #TedLasso

Roy: Where's your manners? You're supposed to ask before you take something. For example, may I take this? Paparazzo: No. Roy: Well, I'm fu$king taking it. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker... / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Keeley: I don't think I've ever had a child in my house before. Roy: What about Jamie? / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies #TedLasso

Rebecca: Did he just call you a wanker? Ted: Yeah, it's an inside joke. Mostly inside of him. / Ted Lasso S02E04 Carol of the Bells #TedLasso

When it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits. I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear? / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

This isn't black. This is dark heather charcoal. / Ted Lasso S02E11 Midnight Train to Royston #TedLasso

Yeah. Um, I could, uh, uh, use some, uh... advice. / Ted Lasso S02E12 Inverting the Pyramid of Success #TedLasso

You know how they say that "youth is wasted on the young"? Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age be wasted on you. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

I believe that Jamie's on a path to becoming a better man and I'm just here to help him along that journey. You know, think of me as his own personal Mr. Miyagi. Except without all that extra yard work. / Ted Lasso S02E03 Do the Right-est Thing #TedLasso

I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. "It's the hope that kills you." Y'all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief. / Ted Lasso S01E10 The Hope that Kills You

We're a team, ain't we? Gotta wear the same kit. / Ted Lasso S02E03 Do the Right-est Thing #TedLasso

Ted: If I were to get fired from my job where I'm puttin' cleats in the trunk of my car... Coach Beard: You got the boot from puttin' boots in the boot. / Ted Lasso S01E02 Biscuits #TedLasso

Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret's little boy. Longtime listener, first-time caller. And I know you're probably busy, 'cause you got bigger fish to multiply and then fry. As you do... / Ted Lasso S02E09 Beard After Hours #TedLasso

No. You can't get mad. You broke up with me... How long's a man meant to be alone? What am I supposed to do? Shower by myself? / Ted Lasso S01E05 Tan Lines #TedLasso

Go on, Roy. For Granddad. / Ted Lasso S03E06 Sunflowers #TedLasso

Isaac: That's copyright infringement, bruv. / Ted Lasso S02E12 Inverting the Pyramid of Success #TedLasso

If his brain was on fire, I wouldn't piss in his ear. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Coach Beard: Look, I understood this mission when we were in Kansas. But those were kids and these are professionals and winning does matter to them. And it matters to me. And that's okay. Ain't that right, Mae? Mae: A-f$cking-men it is. / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies

(Dani has much love to give.) / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Yes, it bounced off my face. But my face almost scored. / Ted Lasso S03E02 (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea #TedLasso

(Mae straightens the picture of Geronimo, just as in the final episode of "Cheers") / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

We start tomorrow. 4:00 a.m. Clean that up. / Ted Lasso S03E03 4-5-1 #TedLasso

Please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond, Roy Kent! / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

It's you. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Look, me and Keeley might be starting up a thing, but every time I think about her, all I think about is Jamie f$cking Tartt. / Ted Lasso S01E08 The Diamond Dogs #TedLasso

Wonder Kid. / Ted Lasso S02E07 Headspace #TedLasso

That's stupid. Should have stayed, crushed it. Legend. Just a bit unlucky at the end. Can I get an ussie? / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Ted: Look, there's Beard over there. That's his new gal, Jane. Yeah, they met at his Friday night chess club. Apparently, they liked each other's moves. / Ted Lasso S01E04 For the Children #TedLasso

Welton Sells 49% Of Club To Fans / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Ted: Spoiler alert. I made you a BLT. Coach Beard: Samesies. / Ted Lasso S02E06 The Signal #TedLasso

Barbecue sauce. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Somebody order a Roy on the rocks, huh? / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies #TedLasso

Any day that annoys Roy... holiday for me. / Ted Lasso S03E10 International Break #TedLasso

Huh. It's not counterfeit. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

Roy: There's, um, a lot of other seats. Ted: Well, yeah, this is what my ticket says. / Ted Lasso S01E09 All Apologies #TedLasso

Take him out! / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

We're so full we ran out of pint glasses. / Ted Lasso S03E09 La Locker Room Aux Folles #TedLasso

Oh, goodness me. I hope that fan's okay. / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

You sure you don't want a plastic whistle? / Ted Lasso S03E07 The Strings That Bind Us #TedLasso

Did McAdoo just hit the ball through the bloody net? / Ted Lasso S03E12 So Long, Farewell #TedLasso

I do love a locker room. Smells like potential... and am I getting notes of Axe body spray? / Ted Lasso S01E01 Pilot #TedLasso