Me: "Ugh, why is everything in my house always so dusty?" Also me: "Time to buy another 3-pack of 22oz. dust containers to use vigorously multiple times a day!"

You can recite the episode verbatim, you're absolutely sick of it, but Daddy still thinks it's the funniest joke in the world to put it on when guests come over. So you silently suck on your pacifier and settle in for the second viewing this week, because it's what Daddy wants and he spanks HARD.

Watching your partner's inquisitive finger as it moves slowly towards your diaper before being thrust beyond the threshold of the leak guards, you realize that this has nothing to do with checking the condition of your Huggies - they're far too fresh & thick to need a change - this is about control.

She said you'd always be her prince, and she didn't lie. But she's no princess - she's a queen - and every queen needs her king, every kingdom needs a ruler and every little prince must learn his place in the hierarchy.

"What's wrong, bud? Don't you like the backpack I got you for the school year? Whats that? Oh, no need for pants, they're making an exception for you on the uniform requirements - I convinced them that your diapers will be more of a long-term distraction for your classmates if we try to hide them."

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Waiting in my crib, wondering what "fun" today will bring. Perhaps my weekly ride on the coin-operated pony at the mall; performing a lil' routine in my sequined vest, top hat & Huggies at yet another a baby pageant; or being led out of the theater after a mid-movie diaper blowout... time will tell.

I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure that the first time I heard Ballo call Kit "little britches" on Talespin was the moment I realized I was straight (in theory), but caregiver bisexual.

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"You won't tell the other boys about this, will you?" 🥺

Impatiently waiting for Mommy to return with a baby wipe to clean me up after dinner, only to hear her chatting with my least favorite babysitter to check her availability for next weekend while mama's "out of town" - AKA meeting up with my eventual Daddy for an extended "adulting" session.

Doing my best impression of a boy who isn't embarrassed about having his diaper checked at the big neighborhood summer block-party as adults chat about an unfamiliar thing called "a job" and TV shows that I've only ever seen on the cover of magazines while holding Daddy's hand in the checkout line.

You thought this would be the easy way out - surely they'd have to let you wear boy's clothes if you just failed one class. But you wouldn't be getting off so easy. Bag packed, zipper locked and diaper already damp - you're all set for your first day as every bully's "favorite" Summer School Sissy💖

The look I give Daddy when he casually asks my former girlfriend if she's available to babysit next Saturday during an unexpected mid-diaper-change encounter at the park.

Bottom pats, please

Leashed 🦮 locked 🍆🔐 and ready to rock (a wet diaper at the park.)

"What's the problem, champ? Don't you like the outfits I picked out for our Disney trip? That's okay, these are just the backups for your carry-on bag - the ones in your luggage are even cuter!"

"Ready" for dinner in my new highchair. (Once my bib gets put on, that is, I didn't want to hide the 4-point harness in the debut photos 😊 Highchair by @yourlittlespace.bsky.social)