STRANGER: Don't make any sudden moves. ME (freezing): Is this a stick-up?! STRANGER: No. But at your age, if you make any sudden moves, you might hurt yourself.

Seafood enthusiasts are always looking to wet their appetites.

The Wall Street Journal agrees that billionaires should pay taxes?! Whoa. 🎁 link: www.wsj.com/finance/bill...

“Blessed are the peace takers…”

Yes, a lawyer wearing a shirt (under a blazer) that shows Shirley Chisholm and Martin Luther King Jr. is outrageous, inflammatory, and mistrial material. Very normal. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Doom® (patent impending)

“I know that my presence made a difference,” she said of her time in office. “I know that my voice made a difference.”

Thank you for your service. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/17/u...

Judge Cynthia Rufe's ruling: “As if the Ministry of Truth in Orwell’s '1984' now existed, with its motto ‘Ignorance is Strength,’ this Court is asked whether the federal government has the power to dissemble and disassemble historical truths. It does not.” oregoncapitalchronicle.com/2026/02/16/r...

Cool 1971 cover by Mel Hunter for "The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction."

• 2009: “Give Twitter a Nobel Peace Prize” • 2026: “KKK awards ‘Burning Cross Prize’ to Musk’s Twitter” www.csmonitor.com/Commentary/O...

Editors gotta edit.

Me, racing through the food-cart pod and grabbing containers from people so I get to feed the robots.

I’m no prude, but this is downright perverse.

I have searched the depths of Legal Arguments not yet articulated or vetted on this subject, and this nimrod is irrefutably a catastrophically dim dumbass.

The 1990s called, and they want their graphics back.

Zhaoxu Sui mapped all the major railways worldwide! Full pdf version here: zhaoxusui.github.io/Earth_Transi...

The Library of Congress is doing a great job covering the Winter Olympics.

Looking forward to reading this article right after I sell my plasma so we can pay our mortgage. 🤩 www.nytimes.com/2026/02/11/t...

So if a person hypothetically needed to go #2, they’d go in the 2nd door, right?

"Why'd you take so long getting stamps?" "I went low and slow."

In 1925, a 5-year-old boy named Michael (full name: Mihai Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen) was named the king of Romania. What followed next was the stuff of legend:

Everyone, I’m sorry about firing that high-energy anti-drone laser yesterday and accidentally shutting down air traffic over the entire Willamette Valley. But after a balloon escaped from the children’s birthday party next-door, I think we can all agree that I had no choice.

Attendance was patchy at this week’s Scutelliphily Club meeting. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patch_c...

*dramatic sigh* "You guys, who told Grandpa?"

This book’s cleverly disguised as a box.

Listening to Cake in honor of Greg Brown: "Heads of state who ride and wrangle Who look at your face from more than one angle Can cut you from their bloated budgets Like sharpening knives through Chicken McNuggets..." www.sfchronicle.com/entertainmen...

Joke’s on them! (They forgot the “T”.)

The literati sniff at Isaac Asimov‘s writing style, but his work is Foundation-al to science fiction.

¡Idiotas! El español siempre ha tenido mensajes políticos ocultos.

Vivien Garry, 1947.

Any writer who’s “generating“ books has already lost.

This is both real and extremely funny. www.wsj.com/lifestyle/bi...

I grew up in a neighborhood that was so family-friendly, when I got jumped into the local gang it was on a trampoline.

I prefer bong chowder, but whatevs.

Hockey players, these rules for "Parasol Flirtations" (1890) are generally the same for the hockey stick flirtations of today. So the next time you drop your stick on the ice, you'll be making a bold declaration of love. 💚 bit.ly/4khK1Ls

Brendan Loper.

“The reason that very few professors are political conservatives is the same reason that no one who is below 5 ft 4 inches tall and over 45 years of age is on the roster of any of the 30 teams in the NBA.” ☄️ www.nytimes.com/2026/02/04/u...

I started reading a humorous book titled “Dungeon Crawler Carl“ (2020) to take my mind off of *gestures vaguely* all THAT. But early in the story, it becomes clear that a mysterious figure is in fact, sinister … which snapped me right back into the present! So much for escapism, sheesh.

“Grandfather, will you tell us a story?” “Of course, children. Let me fetch my storybook! It has the most wondrous tale.” <later> “why do you hate us, grandpa?”

It's not fixing a hole in their discography, but this was the projected cover for the unfinished Beatles album, "Sgt. Pepper's Muzzled Bear, Black Cat, Scary Aladdin, and 'What in the heck is George?' Club Band."

She was headed “to buy a cake for her grandson’s birthday when she was stopped.” 🤬

Music Millennium opened in Portland in 1969. Now, the owner is looking for a successor to take over his beloved store. “I want that building to be a part of Portland’s landscape forever. Plus, I want Music Millennium to be in it for just as many years," he said.

*eats last McDonald's fry and flicks a lit cigarette* "It's ball-pit time."

“Finnish Spitz.” — Things you might hear at the dentist *or* at the Westminster Dog Show.

DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: No bond in nature is stronger than that between a mother and her daughter. In scientific terminology, they are...

This description of Cher attempting to award a Grammy to … *somebody* made my day.

For a good start to the week, I'm going to try to work "chucklings" into every conversation.

Fun day for kayaking! Oops, the current’s picking up and I may have missed a sign. Hang on, what’s that up ahead?!

Is it hyperbolic to say that the current WH administration is snorting cryptocurrency and racism off of America’s tombstone? (Asking for a friend.)