I fear this will cut the box office receipts in half, but I need to let you know that Ella McCay does not do the shoe thing from the poster in the movie. I deliberately did not take a bathroom break because I was scared I would miss the shoe thing and then there was no shoe thing.

Autumn Sonata

I can’t explain it but Shakespeare in Love is a Thanksgiving movie, spiritually.

I guest hosted on today’s new episode of Keep It with @louisvirtel.bsky.social and certified lunatic Gus Hickey! Listen as we fall into a folie à deux discussing Grammys, All’s Fair, Lux, Frankenstein, and for some reason the 2019 Madonna song God Control.

same vibe tbqh

When you’re going through Hell, keep an eye out for any amazing sales in their lovely stores!

Yes, it’s hard to motivate to go to the gym. And while I’m doing it, it’s torture. But the feeling after? Even worse. No part of this is good.

Is it me? Am I the drama? I don't think I'm the drama... Maybe I am. Am I the villain? I don't think I'm the villain. #johnproctoristhevillain

Sometimes it feels like I’m the only gay guy without an acclaimed off-Broadway show.

One must imagine Cookie Puss happy

You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams. You are your descendants’ deepest cringe.

Oh, you’re a morning person? How capitalist.

I should be able to pay extra to get notes on my singing from the human who’s remotely operating my Waymo

An important thing for my mental health has been to switch from an age-based metric of self-worth to a LOOKS-based metric.

Gen Z is cool and all but have they ever killed the diamond industry

WGA Statement on ABC’s Decision to Pull Jimmy Kimmel Live!

reading a book about china. apparently the government there has sent federal forces into cities, taken shares of major private enterprises, slapped tariffs on industries, and pressured media outlets to fire people they politically disagreed with. didn’t know this.

my house is literally on pretty girl avenue btw

For every second they waste checking in YET AGAIN on this awful Emmys bit, I'm donating money to the Nakamura Foundation.

Sometimes the author photo ruins the whole experience.

We teach Christophers to shrink themselves. To write their name as “Chris S” on the karaoke sign-up sheet…

Me talking to a twentysomething at the bar

Watching K-Popped. I’m concerned Patti Labelle thought she was doing a soul competition and not a competition in Seoul.

My feelings on Survivor Australia vs the World

Sometimes it’s nice to wander NYC and think to yourself, “Wow! I really could not live here!”

Nice try, that is a Zoombini about to go on a logical journey

Stanning Zara Larsson is a trauma response

The discreet charm of being in a shoes-on household

Just finished the And Just Like That series finale

Rhythm of Love is lowkey goated when you don’t have a bitch in your ear talking about Impossible Princess

I’m asking my next Grindr hookup for a bowl of water 🧙‍♀️

This week’s themes were “women surrounded by men who think they know better” and “stuck on a weird island” (counting Great Britain as a weird island).

They say the hardest job in the world is mother, but it’s actually the mailman who has Brigadoon on his route.

This is where I post from

At this point, the Criterion Channel needs to be named in my will.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll eat for a day. If you teach a mouse to make cookies, he’ll starve because his little paws can’t operate the oven without you.

This is correct. Any candidate cynically “triangulating” on trans kids is a non-starter, and now is the time to say so. There’s still so much time to advance candidates that DON’T suck.

You might think it’s fun to get your dog a DNA test, but you won’t be laughing when he is identified as a notorious serial killer who terrorized the Bay Area, bringing relief to many families who thought they would never see justice.

anybody else’s gyre feel wider lately

Wearing a “nice shirt!” shirt will really slow down your day.

Watching And Just Like That and Miranda called I Dreamed a Dream a French Revolution themed song 🥴 I remember when Miranda used to be smart!!

Boyfriend is out of town so I’m being a little naughty 😈 (watching movies without the subtitles turned on)

A thing I say out loud to myself about once a day is, “what are shows that I watch?”

This revival of Sunset Blvd landing during the collapse of Hollywood feels as eerily apt as the Chicago revival landing right after the OJ trial

I'm sorry if this opinion isn't "woke," but Twin Peaks: The Return is not a movie!

love island is actually a decades-long experiment in introducing straight culture to non-monogamy

I haven’t known a moment’s peace this week

Twenty years later, Sluggo brought that brick to Stonewall 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️