My daughter's new favorite independent play activity is 'try to sneak out of the room to visit nana' and i must say, its getting pretty old 🙄

My favorite TV show right now is opening up the baby cam to watch my baby ghoul dream 🩵

I think it would actually be weirder if I ever caught a single fucking break

Havnt been online in a while so here's a reminder of how hot I am 💙 try not to fall madly in love

I posted this when all my moots were sleeping 😭

Youve heard of 'Pretty Privilege', now get ready for TITTY PRIVILEGE! no one can tell if im ugly or not cause they cant stop staring at my HONKERS

Summer is hard for the alt bitches

As someone who grew up in a shitty situation that didnt encourage hygiene and having to learn about it way too late in life, the fact that my toddler LOVES showers/baths and brushing her teeth makes me so immensely happy. Tells me im breaking curses, healing and doing something right 🩵

Screw One Direction. I shave my whole body to go see my best friend 'just in case'

I could NEVER look back at old pics and cringe because; That was a whole ass person that felt confident enough in how she looked that she took a picture, how can you ever feel badly about that??

Yes, dance for me sexy shirtless man, lemme see em jiggle

Hate giving my toddler a bath too early cause thats always the night she decides to fully palm a chocolate pudding or something 🙄

A couple months ago I deleted all the food apps off my phone to manage spending and MAN do I regret it right now

Pre ordering books like its my day job

Thinking heavily about Hannah Montana rn

This burrito bowl is so good that it could kill me right now and id say thank you

I need to drink a monster in the morning cause im so tired from staying up late excited about the monster im going to drink in the morning

Should I be worried if I still have tan lines from last summer??????

Gimme a butthole Polaroid picture with them colorful frames and shit

Like "Yo Ho"? Or beep boop download?

Officially giving up drawing as of this moment forever, im so frustrated

Self sabotage like im training for an Olympic sport 💪

Did my first colour hunt today 💙🩵

"You look as if you've faced a thousand deaths, just as a warrior does."

Someone invite me to something that requires me to buy a flowey ball gown, im begging

Please save me, Costco sized bottle of Advil

Oh, to be a freshly showered toddler in warm pajamas with my damp hair combed back

Hubby has been watching Devil May Cry and im not watching but whenever Dante is on screen, I am SAT

Only with @really-creepy.bsky.social can I be completely disassociated in the book store and still have a great time

KINDLE HAS BEEN FOUND IN THE TOY BOX!!!!

So sad I cant be private on here, id love to show off my princess having the time of her life at Krispy Kream today 😭

The fact that my toddler got a hold of my kindle and hid it should be a crime

I get to see my best friend tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

My hubby remembers me in the high of my epidural telling him "we HAVE to go to Vegas!" And I have no memory of this Happy (late) Mother's day

Blue refresh 💙🩵

Forget the worm, Would you still love me if I baked your shaving accident victims into meat pies?

Pro tip for new/upcoming parents: JUST GET THE PLASTIC KIDDIE POOL. Blowing up, filling, emptying, cleaning and deflating a blow up pool EVERY TIME YOU WANNA USE IT is not the vibe

I took my meds and actually started cleaning before I even realized I was doing it

Share two of your favorite pics of yourself!!! Two VERY different eras of my life yet only a couple years apart and I love both versions immeasurably

Lets yap! Ill tell you mine if you tell me yours 👀

I practice SlutCraft and enjoy Whorer

Cut and coloured hubby's hair and I cant wait to do mineeeeee Love that we match our streaks 💕

I wish i could just have normal stresses; like the grocery store being out of my fave brand of chips or something. Instead, everything is always life altering

lobotomize me

post 4 pictures of you with different colored hair! This trend was MADE for me

post 4 pictures of you with different colored hair!

My daughter found a singular knitted mitten that she's refused to take off for the last 3 days

So wild to say i have a two year old now 😭

Lemme ask my crystal ball if I give a F U C K

Genuinely mid breakdown, her head will whip around and the tears will freeze. Its actually magical