SUCK MY FAT ONE 2025

i wish i had something thoughtful to say about this year but it all just felt like a mediocre nightmare. mostly bad parts, some good things, but most of it I just don't remember anymore. i guess I came out of it a bit tougher, but it feels more like some my nerves got deadened.

been practicing my "if it makes you feel better" on all the old men coming through my line with booze who ask if i'm gonna card them

lmao a scalper just called my store and asked *me* to walk over and check the pokemon machine so he wouldn't have to come in

can't stop thinking about the name "goncalves"

people gotta stop wishing me a happy new year before midnight, you're jinxing it

happy new year!!

Morning.

december the 31th be with you

in the year 2026 there will be no cable solutions. cables are beautiful, and they do not need to be "solved"

idk if this will improve my image quality but damn does it look cool

here is your vocal stim for tuesday, december 30 2025

the 90s-ass font on these MREs got me thinking about how battle ready the us army would be if they got a dilberito in their ration

sometimes i surprise myself (this isn't one of those times)

real "missing my first girlfriend who i lost touch with a decade ago" hours

Oh good, Geoffrey, you're here! (Geoffrey bursts into flames) Geoffrey's on fire. Ew!

Oh good, Geoffrey, you're here! No! (Disappears)

this one's actually a problem and i sing it at work several times a day

you almost can't spell "in memory of grandmom" without "minion"

very few things piss me off more than when people make fun of or are upset by somebody's laugh. that's the purest fucking expression of joy, something sacred, something never to be edited or held back. every laugh is innately beautiful.

so i always knew the song from the trailer for the 1996 flipper movie was either Roll To Me by Del Amitri or All For You by Sister Hazel, so whenever i heard one of those songs on the radio i'd be like "oh that's the song from the trailer for the 1996 flipper movie"

here is your vocal stim for sunday, december 28 2025

when the pentagon creates a virus designed to kill specifically me

esnupi going for the kill

here is your vocal stim for saturday, december 27 2025

Bottled Mineragua sparkling water is water that FUCKS.

draw your OC in this

here is your vocal stim for friday, december 26 2025

(Said to Luigi holding a stone shaped like a football, dejected after talking to his brother) bsky.app/profile/chor...

they fixed the hitboxes on the rides in living memory and i'd delete the lvl 1 . myself for that

I just heard from a totally legitimate and reliable source that this is actually what happened while the servers were down.

lv1 didn't leave us... santa just needed a few more reindeer last night...

girls love my mania

then: deck the halls now: dick and balls SHARE if you AGREE!

december the 25st be with you

people really liked this one lol

the more i look like kikuri the less i feel connected to her

they're just skipping straight to the funny part now

bah humbug

happy christmas eve!

mortal kombat fatality where you're hooked to a presto hot dogger and cooked clear through with a delicious flavor in just 60 seconds

flash photography is the worst thing to happen to food lmao

i love this stupid asshole so much

i love piu piu’s 🫠💜

the other night i had a dream there was a new pokemon. it was called Deckydecky and it was just a toucan construction worker i think it had a hardhat and held a carpenter's pencil in its beak and now i really wanna draw it

buy a trans girl a synthesizer this christmas

every consumable product should have a loyalty catalog like marlboro with the top prize being a sick-ass branded jacket

i love how my hair does that raine sage swoopy bang thing now