It is because Dead Joe bought into gateway drug theory and felt weed was basically the same as the heroin Crackhead Hunter was abusing.

This would be an amazing bit if they were capable of doing a bit.

MAGAZINER: How many veterans have you deported? NOEM: We haven't deported veterans MAGAZINER: We are now joined on Zoom by a combat veteran you deported to Korea

the dumb as shit and childish voters should have listened to mamala

My brain short-circuited and I assumed Calibri was some foreign minister somewhere

does not change the fact that brexit island is poor, very poor.

It is probably not ideal that the bulk of the lamestream media is staffed by people whose parents have blue wikipedia names or in this particular instance are .... the direct descendant of the richest man in history to that point

A classic of the genre

I take my cat out on the fire escape shirtless in December (as one does) and barking dogs scare him and he scratches my tummy in fear to get away, why are there so many dogs around these days, it is like a developing country you do not all need dogs

the united states is currently being led by a bunch of little david dukes with a senescent outer-borough grand dragon at the top

It's vile to kill people with no actual legal justification and also vile to joke about killing those people.

Mamala lost because the voters are bad and not because she was a woman and also because Dead Joe fucked us all over

he is the OG "when the president does it, that means that it is not illegal" of course

what airports really need is more J-class lounges so people (everyone has one) with qualifying credit cards cannot crowd them up

need our very own shitlib secret police to send these people to gitmo

in exciting personal news my heat keeps turning off on its own and i am having to play games with it

pick a lane it is either Tariff Man or President Low Prices you cannot have both

Checking the city by-laws to see if there is any impediment to adopting one

he is actually dead and this is just a mechanized corpse, that is a charging port for the batteries

Vibecession's not so fun when you're in office!

Is there even a market for talking about Dead Joe anymore? I remember him dying of covid in Rehoboth in July 2024 and there hasn’t been anything to say about him since

The morally correct choice is to be fired

thinking about the time i ran into michael cohen (yes that one) in a suite at yankee stadium

MacKenzie Scott: *donates $50M every 10 hours° Joe Lonsdale, co-founder of Palantir: "I want to see people hang"

Thinking

Things often seem bleak but then I am reminded we are just a few weeks away from twinks dancing on ice

This is pretty much what Rodrigo Duterte was sent to The Hague over (along with being in the wrong family in a dispute between the president [Marcos, ex dictator son] and vice president [Duterte, daughter of aforementioned strongman]).

if elected president i promise to be just as corrupt as our current leadership, perhaps even moreso. but I will also reinvest the entire defense and policing budgets into creating what i call The Health Cigarette

brexit island is just a poorer- *much poorer*, knock-off of the us

congrats to olivia nuzzi and everyone else involved, hope your book sales are going terribly :)

I am pro-conscription now that I am no longer of draft-able age tbh

It’s giving Bayoughdad Bob 😌

Probably the single-most corrupt international organization out there tbh, the various arrests a decade ago does not seem to have changed that and there are no laws anymore so

Many people are saying

fucking freezing fr fr turn up the sun

Why is it so cold

the irish are weak freeloaders who have never bothered to have an actual military

weighing going to miami or la for new years and very torn tbh

they're gonna replace the national anthem with a performance of cats and holograms of the village people

This man is a menace to political strategy

the ingrate voters are welcome to have their discounted health insurance back if they put a blue trifecta back in power, until then elections have consequences etc etc

He’s gesturing to a sleeping man as he says “He’s the only leader in the world who can help end [the war in Ukraine].”

People don’t really acknowledge this, but this is what hell looks like

One of the best sounds when you’re in bed getting ready to go to sleep (9:30, yes, I’m old) is hearing your couch get scratched apart in the other room 😌

Admiral Bradley—WHO TO BE CLEAR WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY DECISION THAT WAS MADE—has my total and complete moral support. I will be keeping him in my prayers, and I will be rooting for him.

is régime change in the corrupt gas station (bolivarian republic) part of "ending the forever wars"

i am not sure i could ace a cognitive test right now (sleepy and bored)