Officer I pwomise, the arson was a prank and the man over there nearly on fire, the reincarnated Ghengis Khan, knows the backstory to make it funny. Can I get a warning please?

Ah yes the famous movie actor, once married to Angelina Jolie, Brad Poop

Everything THEY post is drivelslop. Everything I post is divinely inspired.

Budget Tactical Guerilla Gear load out: 1. PENETREX 2. VASELINE 3. CHAPSTICK 4. A SLING SHOT 5. ONE BULLET ( IT CURVES) 5 - 2. BACKUP PENETREX

I feel so energized for this new year

THE WICKED LITTLE HELLION IS DEAD WAR IS OVER STANDARD IS (not really) SAVEE magic.wizards.com/en/news/anno...

Thank you Dems for not only doing nothing with the shut down, but also caving at the least opportune time so that it was all for nothing. Just Art of the Deal right there.

I need you to just be whelmed for once, none of this over under stuff

Soothe your child to sleep with a YouTube spirit Halloween animatronic compilation

You can lead a pig to mud but you CANT make him eat the suspiciously person shaped meat bits scattered throughout the feeding trough, am I right fellas??

The male urge to write esoteric runes in the dirt foretelling the downfall of your rival house

Gonna try to start streaming again soon. My entire gaming rig exploded, metaphorically, but I'll attempt a repair in the next couple of days

Little did I know, I was using a gobstopper in the marble run that is my life

Chat, what if we just chilled for a second

It's crazy what you can do with just grit, will power, determination, positive self talk, and 8000 wasps

What's crazy to me is that people drink raw milk after boiling it. Cowards. Get listeria like a real pioneer.

WHY DO ALL MY BATH TOWELS SMELL OF SPAGHETTI

Right wingers will say shit like "we gotta end WOKE" and the woke is just a black dude in a febreeze commercial Thanks Dylan for crashing the economy over that. Really cool.

Unfortunately

The fact that Oreo is still making iterations on the same cookie after 100+ years PROVES that we haven't fully mastered anything in tech and I will not elaborate on that

Me staring at the present wrapped in the exact shape of a pair gorilla swear word socks from TJ Maxx: "god I hope this is an Xbox"

Is everything hot and sweaty forever

She frosting on my flake till I uhhhh wait wait I got this she FROSTING on my flake till I uhh till I uhhhh she FROSTED FLAKE ON MY cereal till uhhhhh she uhhhh wait wait wait uh she frost-she FROSTed flake - she uh wait wait wait in thinking she she she wait I got this she flake on my frosted til i

It’s times like this I wish hell was real, and very very hot.

They should make keys that don't have a siren's call after 8 to 10 beers

How do vegans feel about human based products

I think I need a break from online cause I just saw a Russian soldier riding a bike get turned into a bloody stump in FPV and all I could think was "huh."

Cursed and Uncursed states elaboration: CURSED New Hampshire - the combination of the mountains, dense trees, and whatever the sun was doing that day made it feel like a bad rendering of landscape. Also just not enough people?

Rating each state I passed through by how cursed it felt MAINE: Uncursed New Hampshire: CURSED Vermont: weirdly enough, Uncursed New York: Cursed but like in an urban sprawl human way Pennsylvania: CURSED - the trees I will finish the list and elaborate more when I finish the trip

They play funk in the McDonald's bathroom because that's where they know you'll catch the most vibes

Me at the beach staring off into the ocean: Why are we here? How insignificant am I in the grand scheme of things? Seagull eating a rotting fish corpse: THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER, HOLY SHIT, IM GONNA DROP A ROCK ON THIS DUDE NEXT TO ME

@i-hate-tomatoes.bsky.social I don't how far you are but it doesn't matter cause you already know what's up

Only thing they need here is a parking garage and a Walmart super center

Can't believe they let me use the femur buster at work for free

Life hack: You can just pay the homeless people to stop talking to you about drugs

I wanna just a huge shout out to whoever designed the streets in Albany, New York. You did the worst job possible and that's incredible

Got so sweaty running that mosquitos instantly drowned when landing on me 😩

my gacha game's summoning animation #gamedev #indiedev

NEW GAME SHOW IDEA PUTTING OLD PEOPLE ON GO KARTS LIKE DOUBLE DASH AND SENDING THEM INTO THE ARENA

New game show idea Contestants guess who of the other contestants has a crush on them ( they all hate every other contestant)

What's with white boys battling depression then releasing rap about it

Thinking about becoming whatever the opposite of a mental health advocate is.

Okay now that izzet doesn't have cori-steel cutter, what's the next unholy abomination they throwing in that deck?