🇺🇸✌🏽

The only 250 worth celebrating this weekend.

When everyone decides to stay out but you decide to go home.

It was not on repeat I’m afraid. But I did get to hear Midnight Sun 💅🏽

If I find out you mistreat dogs I’m immediately throwing hands.

Confessions II is just going to be on repeat tonight at the gay pool party isn’t it?

I’ll take a long Thursday if it means a three day weekend. Time to melt into the couch.

Still need a tattoo that peeks through my slutty above-the-knee shorts this summer.

Appetizers need to do a better job of reclaiming the word apps.

Imagine thinking the solution to not having “success” with apps is to make or join a new app.

The only 250 worth celebrating this weekend.

So what are you supposed to do on days where there is no new Love Island episode? I didn’t see that in the manual.

Marie Antoinette:

Streaming execs be like “nostalgia is in!” and it’s another gd show about JonBenét Ramsey.

Oh Dylan was FORCING those tears out. #loveislandusa

Straights tomorrow:

Weekend, success.

Justin, lover of all dogs.

First time watching Father of the Bride (I know). What the hell is up with this guy??

🤙🏽

Always ordering the highest spicy level because I know I won’t have to share.

Sorry that your digestive system isn't strong enough for Taco Bell. That's purely all your fault, not the food's fault

I’ve avoided it for so long… but Love Island has finally caught up to me. *sigh*

Is it even a gay game night if you’re not playing Wingspan?

For those who couldn’t see it

My dear friend @byronlane.bsky.social, who is both an insightful soul and gifted writer, just published his latest Substack piece. If you're often in need of a respite, I suggest adding a little weekly Byrontology to your life.

Sadly, not a festival celebrating my stature.

This skeet would go in the Bluesky Hall of Fame.

Calorie deficits are stupid because I definitely would’ve had a row of Oreos by now.

We really are the gayest city in America. Your move, Ptown.

Good morning

you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love >>>>

Goldeneye is too on the nose, but I did spend an equal amount of time trying to run over a frog with a rooster comb.

The gym was busy so here’s my at home gym mirror selfie instead.

RED FLAG. by Kesha, another certified runner bop.

Gay powers restored. Now get in, we’re getting Jersey Mike’s

Certified banger my dudes.

Note to self, Tool Shed is not a hardware store.

I built my targeted ads brick by brick.

Wait was there really an announcement for an animated ‘Survivor’ movie featuring animals as contestants? Or did I dream this random ass idea that nobody asked for?

welcome to the club hoe

a TV show you’re (not) positive no one remembers but you

Watching the Scots and Boston locals run around and have fun with each other.

Telling someone to “scram” is so highly underrated.

Forever my boy.

I know my husband is drunk when he wants to show everyone THAT Silver Springs video.

World Cup, but it’s the name of my culturally decorated jock strap.

That’s my shit.

Insane that I could just be in the middle of eating a breakfast burrito, then be completely blindsided by your absence. That you’re not making goofy faces as you wait for a bite, or even just napping at my feet. I miss you so much my little guy. You were always such a bright spot in my day.

We love a large collection of gays at the movies.