Missed you extra hard today little dude. My softball team won our division this season. I always said you were my good luck charm when you came to watch us practice. Hope you did something really rad today.

Domino’s warning me not to waste a free medium two-topping pizza coupon that expires in October. That’s true friendship right there.

Eating is such a great coping mechanism. GOATED as the kids say.

There will never be another like him. He is a once in a lifetime best friend. And I think that’s what’s killing me. I miss you everyday, little dude.

Said goodbye to our best friend, our soul dog. Six years will never be enough. We are so broken.

I NEED a night shift spinoff of #ThePitt with all these hot doctors clocking in my god.

This feature-length ass episode #Survivor50

I don't know who needs to hear this, but Heated Rivalry didn't become popular because it was about hockey.

Love my little dude.

Just like everyone else on #Survivor50, I too, did not watch Survivor 49.

Remember Moo Deng? This is her now. Feel old yet?

I triple dog dare you to not wear your retainers tonight.

Even the writers have abandoned Baby Jane Doe. #ThePitt

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell.

Happy #OpeningDay to all who celebrate. Go Giants 🤘🏽

Happy Gotcha Day my little dude 💕

disassociating brb

People who claim they are not wasteful have never tried tearing the first piece off a new roll of toilet paper.

Played gay softball today.

Oh. Hi Paddy..My name is Justin 😅 #SNLUK

Me: Yeah I love being punished. The punishment: Eating a microwave quesadilla with unbearably spicy habanero sauce. Specifically the one from Trader Joe's.

Just watched my week fly by via pill organizer and I’m not sure I how I feel about this thing any more.

We need more aggressive twists on shows like Love is Blind. There's an AI woman. A man proposes. The viewers are losing their shit. During the reveal someone that looks like Scruffy from Futurama wheels out a computer.

Honestly Samira, Mama Javadi, Ogilvie, and ICE can all fuck right off. #ThePitt

Drafts!!

Oh you mean this is the altercation that happened before the police body cam footage used in Episode 1 of the entire series? Sink that production company immediately.

Do you ever just want to have a smoothie, but you accidentally spill a little, so then you go grab a paper towel but there’s only one sheet left so you have to replace it, and then you go to recycle the old tube but the bin is full, so now you have to take the bin outside to be emptied? Yeah.

What the fuck lol

I literally winced when Jeff Probst said “sandbags” when he was explaining the challenge.

Shoutout to all the half-Irish half-Venezuelans out in the world. Today is your day.

Well ain’t that just a beautiful home run if I ever did see one. #WBC

On heavy rotation on my 2026 soundtrack. (Yes I know this song came out two years ago)

Emotional intelligence is sexy. Full stop.

Alternating between my phone and a book at the airport so that the grown ups don’t think I’m a degenerate millennial who can’t afford a home because I order avocado toast.

I am “I Asked My Mom if She Had a Spare Pill Organizer” years old.

Since uber likes to assign me the driver furthest away, here’s me waiting.

On my first Southwest flight since they sold their souls to the devil for this new boarding process. *shakes fist*

I’ve been able to tolerate a lot of #ThePitt but I did not need to learn or see what degloving was.

Lmao sorry baby Jane Doe keep looking. #thepitt

Pitch an unnecessary sequel: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

Absolutely not. #Survivor50

Picky eaters, respectfully, ya’ll need to really step up when someone asks “where should we eat?”

Has anyone sent this to Adam Levine?

My Doctor: I also want you on 81mg of baby aspirin. Me: I’m baby.

Me (finding parking at a hospital): Well at least if I hit somebody the hospital is right here.

Off to bed* *play leaf green for another hour or two before falling asleep with the switch on my chest while the battle theme plays on repeat.

┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ ┻┳| •.•) lets go #TeamMexico ┳┻|⊂ﾉ ┻┳| #WorldBaseballClassic

Does anyone actually write on the back pages of their legal pad? Idk feels inconvenient.

I forgot how awfully tedious leveling up Pokemon were in the early gens. I'm such a rare candy girly.

Happy to be home with my boy.