YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO UN-PRESS A BUTTON IN THE ELEVATOR

Taco Bell open until 2am. We are so back.

Fuck it smells like Winter out here.

Every so often I’ll tell my gf that I want a new TV just to get her blood moving.

I’m just sort of tired of existing in my body…

So who’s looking out for me?

Normalize smoking up the house manager(me) after your shows.

Horror movie about a venue manager who cleans up after events. But he’s got noise cancelling ear buds in and can’t hear all the spooky noises until it’s TOO LATE. It’s me. I’m the guy. I’m gonna die here.

So now numbers are words??

Been hitting people with the “Meat is Murder” and it’s been fun.

Yo I think I just saw Batman downtown….???

Just told the gf I like asparagus so now I’m gonna have to eat asparagus.

I’m sorry to everyone who has tried to dap me up.

Sometimes autocorrect can be so god dam insistent it fucking pisses me off. BITCH I SAID NO I DON’T WANT TO USE THAT WORD!

New AFI??

George Lopez in Blue Beetle.

Ya know, it still blows my mind that airplanes exist. It’s fucking nuts if you think about it. Truly an engineering miracle.

Not much feels better than when the gf wants to watch something, we can’t find it on streaming but it’s on my blu ray shelf 😏😎

Do you guys think there will ever be another election? 🙃

Wait… why is the VP subbing in on a podcast? I fucking hate these people man. What the fuck is even happening.

Why is everyone always going the same places I’m going.

Is anyone asking why Chump uploaded an AI video of himself last night…?

It’s Vikings game day baby!! #SKOL

What even is a buffalo bill?

Pissed at Tires Plus. I genuinely don’t think they care about complaints or a 1 star google review but fuck that place.

Haven’t smoke weed in a few days and the anxiety is back babyyyy. I also just completely hate myself again.

University Taco Bell is goated.

A good-a steering wheel that doesn’t WHIFF out of window while I driving.

That feeling when you first introduce your MacBook to your iPhone DIRECTLY. 😏

*gets in shower with glasses on*

Hey siri, should I be microwaving during a thunder storm?

I wanna be a cowboy babyyyyy

My dog sees laundry on the bed and thinks he just jump on up here for a nap.

#FantasticFour currently seated! 👀

When The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald comes up on shuffle.

Writing a new song might heal me…

They don’t let you home up lighters at concerts anymore.

Dam do I want a Flying V?

About to play THPS 3+4 remastered. I stg if my custom character can’t have glasses like the last one, I might need to go and find Tony myself.

Real talk: fuck chopping garlic. Such a hassle. That minced shit in the jar is a blessing.

Happy Fourth of July

Ice cream truck drove by. I put $3 in his tip jar and said “you come on back ‘round here”

Something about blasting Sinead O’Connor over the PA at work.

Okay okay. I’ll play Death Stranding.

Fuck it. We jammin the Sunday playlist a lil early this weekend.

When your loved one is sick but you can’t like help in any way. 😭😖😭

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO UNPRESS A BUTTON IN AN ELEVATOR!

Uh oh, dude at smoothie shop recognized me. Maybe I get too many smoothies…

I finally made the perfect amount of spaghetti. No leftovers.

Want to die.