Not much feels better than when the gf wants to watch something, we can’t find it on streaming but it’s on my blu ray shelf 😏😎

Do you guys think there will ever be another election? 🙃

Wait… why is the VP subbing in on a podcast? I fucking hate these people man. What the fuck is even happening.

Why is everyone always going the same places I’m going.

Is anyone asking why Chump uploaded an AI video of himself last night…?

It’s Vikings game day baby!! #SKOL

What even is a buffalo bill?

Pissed at Tires Plus. I genuinely don’t think they care about complaints or a 1 star google review but fuck that place.

Haven’t smoke weed in a few days and the anxiety is back babyyyy. I also just completely hate myself again.

University Taco Bell is goated.

A good-a steering wheel that doesn’t WHIFF out of window while I driving.

That feeling when you first introduce your MacBook to your iPhone DIRECTLY. 😏

*gets in shower with glasses on*

Hey siri, should I be microwaving during a thunder storm?

I wanna be a cowboy babyyyyy

My dog sees laundry on the bed and thinks he just jump on up here for a nap.

#FantasticFour currently seated! 👀

When The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald comes up on shuffle.

Writing a new song might heal me…

They don’t let you home up lighters at concerts anymore.

Dam do I want a Flying V?

About to play THPS 3+4 remastered. I stg if my custom character can’t have glasses like the last one, I might need to go and find Tony myself.

Real talk: fuck chopping garlic. Such a hassle. That minced shit in the jar is a blessing.

Happy Fourth of July

Ice cream truck drove by. I put $3 in his tip jar and said “you come on back ‘round here”

Something about blasting Sinead O’Connor over the PA at work.

Okay okay. I’ll play Death Stranding.

Fuck it. We jammin the Sunday playlist a lil early this weekend.

When your loved one is sick but you can’t like help in any way. 😭😖😭

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO UNPRESS A BUTTON IN AN ELEVATOR!

Uh oh, dude at smoothie shop recognized me. Maybe I get too many smoothies…

I finally made the perfect amount of spaghetti. No leftovers.

Want to die.

How many empty ice pails does a household need?

To keep yourself from going soft, walk into a Spencer’s gifts every now and then.

The TOP to the DOG to the POT to the GOD

I was gonna do the dishes, but then I got high.

Sometimes I really miss cigarettes man…

I still think about the nearly full J I dropped between the boards on my deck…

I fucking suck sometimes. God dammit.

Ya know what, fuck the haterz. I just might get flame tattoos on my forearm.

80° felt nice today I tell you what.

Watching Family Guy through my vape.

I’m the type of guy that would fill out a crossword but with the wrong words.

Dear guy at concert who films the whole set. Do you ever watch those? 😵‍💫

Retirement age should be 30, and I’m not even slightly joking.

I feel like Shane Gillis and Post Malone are actually good buddies.

Can I put away the Winter coats yet?

When you click Skip Intro but you just get a shorter intro…

Sound guy thought he was in Mountain Time Zone. Bro, do you see any mountains?